Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Ache-Ademic Awards

The show was painful. I am not a real big fan of the Academy Awards.
Heck, I am not a big fan of competition of any kind.
That’s just me.
However, I did click into the Awards- when I wasn’t watching a special about Bing Crosby.
A few observations....

So, why didn’t the sound people notice that when Steve and Alec clapped at the intro monologue- which was pretty dreadful, that’s all you could hear.
The director could have told them that before they came back on stage again. Anyway, isn’t that what a dress rehearsal is for?
That’s what this looked like. A dress rehearsal.
I use a dress rehearsal to iron out the mistakes.

Looks like all the ladies’ gowns have shoulder straps missing. Now those two young “duckies”- one was that Cyrus Gal with the uncomfortably tight top. Why her tits were all pushed up- right from her stomach. I think part of her belly was actually visible right alongside her boobs.

Mathew Broderick looked fantastic. So did Robert Downey. So did Tina Fey- except, part of the shoulder on her dress was missing, but they were funny!

Geeze, in the movie “Inglorious Basterds”, I hated that guy Christop Waltz as the Nazi “fiend” and although I hadn’t seen any of the other performances (like Christopher Plummer and Matt Damon), I thought- “This guy has to take it. He made me hate him so much.”
So, he did.

I hated the way CTV cut parts of the “live” the show. Once as Sandra Bulloch was onscreen. Again when they came back from a commercial, Steve and Alec were already doing an intro. Very bad. Bad. Very bad.
If I could have watched it on another network, I would have but on Rogers you don’t have a choice.

Gawd. I am missing the musical numbers but someone decided not to have any this year.
Nice tribute to John Hughes. Not musical but nice. Too bad Macauley Culkin didn’t have time to wash his hair. Eeeew.

Who is that freekin’ female announcer? It’s like- “Listen to me. I am the announcer at the Academy Awards!”Why did Ben Stiller do that “Avatar” thing? Oh, wait. I know. To make Steve and Alec look good.

Finally some glamour- Queen Latifah! Now she’s wearin’ that dress not the other way around.
Steve Martin was actually funny as he introduced “Queen L’. Maybe he locked Alec in the bathroom. They just shouldn’t have been paired together.

More class. Betty Bacall. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore! That is the glamour and class that Hollywood and pictures used to be. Meryl Streep has that stuff.

Love the woman sitting in front of Mo’Nique. She should not smile with that big ole tooth missing. It’s leaving a big black gaping hole on a 52 inch screen. Uh-oh. Black woman putting down the whites. God Bless you know who……!

Sigourney Weaver grabbed a crimson red sheer curtain. Wrapped it around her, plopped a brooch on her chest and Volia! You go girl. Looks great! Sarah Jessica. What is all this silver stiff-stuff up there?
Tom Ford on the other hand- Yowsa! Slurp!

Now, there’s a whole bunch of scary, young, pale-skinned actors with no stage presence. That young Taylor guy from Twilight should have just removed his shirt. His abs would have been the “hit” of the evening.

Gee, Cameron’s X Wife is taking all the awards for The Hurt Locker. Isn’t it cute the way he’s sitting there pissed off and she’s standing up applauding in front of him. I believe that the Academy doesn’t consider the actors in Avatar- real actors.

Sandra’s on now- Maybe she’ll be funny. Ooops. Too much red lip stuff and way too much 1940’s rouge. Guess her grannie did her makeup.
Nice gown, however.

Next: Bring Out Yer Dead! James Taylor sings…
Alec and Steve have stopped clapping. They’ve been reading the “tweets”.

Keanu Reeves. Yum. Who cares what he said.

So stuff and more stuff. Kathy Bates looked beautiful introducing a short clip from Avatar. Her voice quaked. Guess she’s a bit nervous.
You know. I haven’t seen James Cameron’s last Epic - “Titanic”. So far, from the clips of Avatar- I can honestly say I am not that interested.

Oh My God. The actor praising George Clooney. Her dress is melting!!!
Kate Winslet. Pretty in Silver. Another classy lady doing the Best Actor honours to Jeff Bridges!

Ok the women are next. Sean Penn does the intro. I hope for Meryl Streep….but maybe Sandra or that gal Gabourey from Precious.
It’s Sandra Bulloch!

OK. Barbra Streisand. This is total class all the way- although she is wearing her Grandmother’s tablecloth around her neck, but still looks fab-u-luss.
Best Picture.
Babs says: Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker.
The first female director to ever win an Academy Award. Gee, wish it could have tied with first African-American. Wouldn’t that have been something- for the Americans.

Tom Hanks intros Best Picture.
Yikes. That woman again. The Hurt Locker. Best Picture with 9 Academy Awards.
Guess the Academy thinks Avatar isn’t really acting or all the gals got together to vote for the lady on the ticket.
Now, remember what picture won last year?
So do the Awards really mean anything- except to the industry.
Probably not.

Have a good one!
P.S. It was Slumdog Millionaire. I never saw it.