Today it's all about bodily functions.
One in particular.
Urination.If you need to pee frequently because you are a child, pregnant or old like me, don't venture far from your ceramic bowl during this Toyota Corolla Virus.
Here on Vancouver Island in British Columbia, things are opening up- slowly.
Restaurants, Chiropractors, Hair Salons even Winners are dusting off the cash registers and windexing the plexiglas so we all an shop or look beautiful once again.
That is a good thing. Just don't expect to pee on a whim.
We've been dining out already. It's been a while.
Again, that is a good thing. It's a gift for being good and socially conscious.
Both establishments have had washrooms open.
Digressing for just a moment.
Islanders being one thing, there's you easterners, in particular Torontonians who gathered in mass numbers recently- 10,000 or more, at Trinity-Bellwoods park to bare firm pectoral titties and hardened biceps to the sun. The ladies bared something or other too. Like pink-painted toenails.
Many Toronto types just needed a warm, sunny day to socialize besides tan.
Naughty. Naughty. Naughty you haughty Torontonians.
We Islanders know better and practice physical distancing. It became second nature to us very easly on. Well, except for a neighbour who has no clue.
I figure cancer or COPD will get said neighbour first anyhow.
Things opening up again is quite nice and it's a return to something we assume will be part of the new normal. However, along with the "new normal" comes new problems such as I hinted at so far in this blog-
Finding a place to pee.
The restaurants where we have dined have facilities open as I said but if you are not dining, where does one go- literally?
The Mister says- "Just stop and go in a bush!"
With my luck a lovely police officer will happen by and I will get charged with all manner of indecent behaviour reminiscent of the mid-1980's when many "things" were done in bushes. I believe things still are done in some bushes in some parks like Allen Gardens or maybe Stanley Park or Stoney Hill not far from our home in the Cowichan.
Still, it's a chance to hang one's dongle outside one's pants near a west coast cedar and let the pressure flow.
I have thought about Depends but I know depending on Depends will come soon enough.
I still prefer to flop is out myself for as long as I can before I sit safely on a bench in my Depends and let loose with a sly smile pasted across my lips.
I can't imaging how it will feel to have all that wet bulk hanging down there in my BVD's.
Walking has to be like- "soggy, slosh, squirt, slosh, soggy, wet. Repeat"
I cannot imagine.
Anyhoo, be aware if you spend a morning guzzling coffee for the afternoon hours could be spent needing to pee- and badly, while stopping by gas stations, Tim's, flower shops and Vintage stores asking if the washroom is available.
No...Not asking- begging to use a washroom.
Mostly the answer is "Sorry sir. Our washrooms are not open because of Covid."
I wish I could pee on demand...
It's awful but we all know Toyota Corolla 19 is spread mostly by old adults peeing into ceramic toilet bowls.
If you do luck out running into a Good Samaritan, do wipe the taps and toilet flusher with an antiseptic wipe or spray and for goodness sake, wash your hands.
That's all of my Toyota Corolla wisdom for today.
I gotta run.
I have to pee- again...