So, I’m at this outdoor Barbra Streisand concert on Vancouver Island- not too far from where I live in Maple Bay. I think I'm dreaming.
FACT: I am dreaming.
She- Miss Streisand, is performing an intimate concert for a few hundred friends. I scooped a ticket. I was lucky. She’s performing for a society that protects the whale and dolphins. Nice. I am standing by a large Arbutus Tree. Barbra is about 20 feet away.
Babs- do you think I should call her Babs? Too soon? Yes. I think you are right. It’s too soon.
Hennaway, she’s singing "Evergreen"- Beautiful, when all of a sudden her eyes lock mine and she walks towards me. Me, standing at my Arbutus Tree watching Ms. Streisand sing "Evergreen". An Arbutus tree is "Evergreen".
I stand there mesmerized in a shirt with a nice collar, a leather jacket- evening breezes can be cool, shorts, flip-flops and my favourite leather man-bag flung over my right shoulder.
She finishes the song. "Hello"- she says.
"Hi"- I respond.
"Whattaya doing here?"- she asks.
"I’m at a Barbra Streisand concert"- I say.
"Hey. Whaddahya know, me too!"- She smiles that Streisand smile.
"Who woulda thought?"- I reply.
"Hey nice man-bag."- she says.
"Thanks"- says me, "it’s handmade. From London. England, I mean- not Ontario.".
"Oh... So,"- she asks with that Barbra twinkle in her eyes, "What do you do?"
"I live here on the Island."
"Get out!"- she says, "I might too. I’m thinking of buying a small place- ten, maybe twelve million. On the ocean. Nothing too garish."
Of course. I’m smitten. Garish is never good.
"So you live on the island then."- Babs continues. Sorry. I can't help myself.
"Do you like plants and gardens?"
"I love them!"- I scream with excitement.
"Holy shit! Me too!"- Barbra is over the top excited. "You wanna come and live with me in my non-garish mansion on the ocean with fish and dolphins and things?"
"Well…" I say trying to be polite. "I have a life."
"Never mind that!"
Barbra pulls a mobile from her back pocket. Did I say she was wearing designer jeans and a sparkly Designer top? Nice. She dials. I'm thinking- would Barbra wear jeans? To a concert. Probably not.
"Hello James? What am I doing? I'm at a Barbra Streisand Concert."
She looks to me- "Men, eh?"
God, she sounded so Canadian at that moment.
"James"- she says into the phone. "Can ummm…what’s your name?"
"Rob"- I say.
"Oh, I’m Barbra!"
"James, I’m with a fellah here who might come and live with us…His name? What does that matter…It’s Rob." She takes the phone from her ear- "He says he likes guys called Rob. Getta vay,!"- she says back into the mobile- "We’ll talk." She looks at me- straight in the eye and says- "Look Rob, I've got this concert-thingy to do. We’ll have coffee after?"
"Sure."- I say.
Babs wanders away.
The orchestra plays and she starts to sing. "People".
One of my fav’s…