Monday, May 31, 2010


A Bunch of ‘Dis and ‘Dat

1. Doesn’t it make you mad when you read that sign that says- “You just proved that sign advertising works”.

2. I thought I had cancelled my FACEBOOK account two years ago. Apparently it was just sleeping. On Monday May 31st 30,000 people opted to “quit” Facebook. Don’t worry, that’s 30 thousand out of 400 million. I was reading a story about people quitting the site in The Star online. That’s when I realized that I had only deferred quiting. My account was just sort of “turned off”. So after about a half hour, I had to re-activate my account to delete it. The instructions for deletion are buried deep within the “help” section of the site. Why can’t they just put the delete button right there where everyone can find it?

Then, after I entered in my password, I had to look at two squiggle words printed in that little box that many websites use to keep spammers out. I had to re-type the words that I saw- with a space in between.
I followed all the instructions. I had to re-activate and de-activate my account twice but on the second tray it worked.
Or so I thought.
A little window came up telling me that it would take 14 days to delete the account. That was just in case I had a re-lapse.
I even got a warning e-mail minutes after warning me that my account would cancel in two weeks.
It can blow itself right to Hell for all I care.
FACEBOOK is the devil’s work.
Everybody knows that.
Why doesn’t Jesus do something?

3. Why do little guys- I mean height deprived, put “big” boats in the water and “big” guys- read overweight, squeeze into tiny canoes and rowboats?

4. Various lady’s groups and individuals were upset that a bar near Hamilton had a urinal in the men’s room shaped like a female mouth with huge ruby-red lips. For all intents and purposes men would pee into this female mouth and lips. It was suggested it perpetrated abuse against women.
A similar idea in another men’s room featured two realistic “male bum” cheeks. The “urinator” was to push his “John Thomas” between the cheeks and urinate. Many men who enjoyed peeing in the fake mouth took exception to the “male bum” urinal design. About 10 percent or two in every 5 men, either enjoyed the experience- yearning for a cigarette, or developed a desire to watch a Hugh Jackman movie- post urinating.

5. How many times a day do you go oline?
Do you check your e-mail once a day?
Do you check it morning and night or only throughout the day.
Do you constantly check out sites such as Twitter and tweet the day away?
Why do I ask?
A columnist started a self-imposed four month personal ban on Internet use. He wants to see if he can do without the constant need to check e-mail or send a Tweet two. He started in mid- April and so far he’s managed to write in “long-hand” with a real pen and mail his column or any correspondence . He occasionally uses a fax machine.
How absolutely medieval!

6. Doctors tell us the guy who beheaded that other guy and ate strips of his flesh to the horror of fellow Greyhound Bus passengers a few years ago, is on the mend. His condition is improving. He can even go on walks around the grounds as long as a couple of guards stroll with him.
We need to know this because….

7. The Prime Minister- General Stephen Harper, is saying he will speak up to Malawi officials at the G20 Summit in Toronto. He will tell the officials that locking people up just because they are “in love” and Gay is not right.
Harper will tell the African country’s leaders “It’s not the Canadian way- that’s for darn tooting.” Canada at one time gave Malawi 25 million dollars a year in aid. Now, I think we have cut that way back to a few A&W coupons once or twice a month. Not a lot of leverage to rant and rave about Gay Rights- but it’s a start. Harper also plans to ask the Malawi officials if citizens in Malawi can buy guns and how much they cost. I don’t know how far Harper is taking this “Gay Rights Talk” but I think it’s the first time I have agreed with what he has said as the leader of our country.
Not the guns part. I mean the Gay part.

It was also reported today that one of the boys in the relationship is a “trannie”. That means lives as a woman. It seems initial reports forgot to mention that fact. I don’t know if that makes the relationship legal or if they’re still a couple of butt boys.
I would have to guess the latter.