Thursday, May 13, 2010

Good Lord.
I think I grew some extra chest hair yesterday.

During this kitchen renovation of ours, there has been plenty of waiting and decisions to be made. We waited for the fridge. Waited for the cupboards to be moved and then waited for Fran Woodhurst to do an estimate and eventually paint the cabinets. Great job Nicole! During the painting process last week, we had to decide on door hardware, drawer pulls and countertop colour.

We decided on handle hardware first. Most of the handles were installed after the painting was completed- except for seven “half-moon” drawer pulls. They had to be specially ordered by Dora at Home Hardware, who also gave us an estimate for the new countertop. Thursday, Dora called and said the pulls had arrived.
I picked them up knowing I could easily install the pull handles on all the drawers that had "previously drilled holes". That left a new drawer under the wall oven that had to have two handles installed. There were no holes pre-drilled. I checked the bolt- called the fastener in the trade, realizing I needed a longer one.
Well, we all dream of longer bolts- don’t we?
I digress.

Here’s where the extra chest hair started to grow.
I am sure my male testosterone levels soared as well!

I looked at the drawer and the handles and drew a quick sketch. The drawer was 28 ½ inches wide. Centre would be 14 ¼ inches. Centre for half the drawer would be 7 1/8 inches.
I was making progress.
I think I even grunted once or twice.
I measured twice, however I resisted placing the pencil behind my ear.
I also made sure the crack of my ass was not hanging out the top of my jeans. There was no one around but I didn’t need to take any chances.

The drawer width was 10 ½ inches so I calculated the half way point was 5 ¼. That’s the point where I measured out 7 1/8 inches to find the centre on one side of the drawer. I was cooking with gas now!
I found the centre of the drawer and measured an inch and a half on each side. The drawer pulls had 3 inch centres. I ensured the centre dot- marked with my Papermate “Canadiana Pencil”, was level with the dots I made 1 ½ inches in each direction.

I stood back and saw these dots on the drawer front:
                       . . .                . . .

The outside holes would be drilled. I chose a bit that would fit the fasteners. I checked the size by drilling into an old piece of 2 x 4. The fastener slid into the hole easily.
Almost there!

I was tingling- mostly because I had to pee. I just wanted to finish the job first.
I carefully drilled the four holes.
They looked good. Level and spaced an attractive distance apart. I shoved the fastener through. It caught the hole in the drawer pull exactly and I tightened the fasteners from the inside. I repeated the process on the other side.

A bit of sawdust inside the drawer and on the kitchen floor but other than that it all looked good.
I was beaming. I danced a jig.
Once again, remember, I had to pee.
I stood back and admired my work.
Cripes it looked good!
No, I mean it. It looked real good!
The drawer’s brushed brass “half-moon” pulls gave it a “finished” appearance.

I cleaned up the sawdust. Took the drill back to the garage and made myself a Bloody Caesar- a toast to a job well done.

Oh yes- Memo to Self: Trim chest hair tomorrow.