Monday, May 17, 2010

R O B B L O G #66

I have finally come up with the perfect idea for a show that will put a whole bunch of bums- and I mean the kind you find just below your back and not the poor, unfortunate Canadians who live on our streets day in and day out.

I am going to write a murder mystery with all the usual quirky characters including- a maid, an eccentric old lady, a butler, a rich woman who just happens to have a drinking problem and the murderer of course. The difference is the play will be set in a rather different place.

I plan to attire all my characters in hockey gear and set them on a floor of white ice- with blue line and all. They might carry a hockey stick- or a purse and a hockey stick in the case of the eccentric old lady, as well as hockey helmets and skates. I have decided to forego the mouth guard because an audience wouldn’t understand what the actors were saying. Come to think of it, I have been to plays just like that.
I haven’t decided on a name for the play yet.
Maybe “Murder on Ice”.
Or “Stick it to Him”.
Perhaps- “High Sticking, High Jinks and Murder!”
I’ll let you know when I’ve decided.
If that doesn’t narrow the cultural gap in Orillia, nothing will.

Imagine Hockey Mums, Dads, Aunts and Uncles sitting right next to the “cultured” Citizenry of Orillia. We could sell beer in cans and when an obvious hockey lover gets the joke in the show he- or she, would bash the aluminum can into the side of their head and say:
“Now, that’s funny stuff ~guffaw, guffaw~”
All the while “the cultured” would sip from glasses of champagne or a chocolate Martini or two!

Alas, I would be quite ahead of my time. Perhaps Toronto Star Critic Richard Ouzounian
would attend on opening night and rave about this engaging “new” form of theatre. He would be much more kind to my actors than he was to the present cast of Mamma Mia.
Note: read yesterday’s blog.
It could be a smash hit. Then I could turn it into a musical and make untold millions and then and then….
Well, back to reality.
Thanks, I needed that- Ouch!

While on the subject of theatre, the 3rd Annual Village of the Arts which was pairing up with Orillia Canada Day Celebrations has been cancelled this year. It’s all hush, hush but I would hazard two guesses.
One- the two committees weren’t getting along.
Two- no one was interested in performing in a tent in a field without proper dressing rooms, lighting, stage or microphones. Speaking on behalf of the Garage Door Players- I wasn’t enamoured with the idea.. You see, it takes time to gather actors together and make time for rehearsal. If the facilities were not going to be up to standard- why bother?

Of course the other side of that is the fact that I am not sure if I will continue with theatrical presentations at all at this ”sob” story before but with lack of interest and local support- even from other actors, why bother?
I love doing theatre and writing something that eventually gets produced but simply spending “willy-nilly” out of my own pocket had to come to an abrupt halt at some point.
And it has!
Oh, I have a couple of shows written and a couple or ideas jotted down but for now they are all tucked away in The Garage Door Players’ “Tickle Trunk” or the deep recesses of my imaginative yet small mind.

I have that theatrical question on my list of things to be thinking about right alongside the question as to whether or not I will continue with Swisssh the Website or Swisssh Radio for that matter.
I am cleaning house!
Purging if you will and everything and anything might be targeted.
As Fagan says in Oliver- “I’m reviewing the situation.”