Monday, May 24, 2010
“Back in my day in ’10 or 12- something like that, we didn’t have all the advantages you kids have today!”
“Why we walked- everyday sometimes even in winter. The streets weren’t always ploughed of snow- but that didn’t stop us. We built up our heart and leg muscles and we didn’t whine and bitch about it neither!”
“Ya- but…what is snow?”- says the kid.
“Smart-ass! That’s from a time long before the “warming years” as you call them and no “ya-buts” either! Listen here. You kids don’t know the half of it. There were times when we had no power. They were called black-outs. Hah! Black alright. Couldn’t see the hand in front of your face. Then those brown outs. Flickering lights. Wavering hydro. Toast wouldn’t cook straight away in the morning. Sometimes you would have to push the “down” lever on your toaster…”
The kid was about to ask about the strange word that sounded like “Toes Stir” to him…
“Don’t ask! ~pause~ Okay, look, we cooked a thing made out of flour in it. It was called- a “toaster”. These “brown-outs” meant you had to push the lever two, maybe three times. The lever turned the toaster on!”
“Yes. Wow would be the word for it. Naw, you kids are doing pretty good. You’re all on easy street.”
“Where’s easy street?”- asks the youngster.
“It’s not a where. It’s a state of mind. Look kid. Now a days you guys just have to think to make things happen. You use the grey matter- up here.” He taps the top of his head a couple of times.
“Didn’t youse guys use that? Grey matter I mean…”
“Listen to yourself- "youse guys". Where in the parallel universe did you learn “youse”?
It’s sad. Listen, back in those days we had to turn on our screens to see a picture…”
“No kidding!”- the youngster shouted as he looked into the old gentlemen’s face with an incredulous stare.
“Yes sir. We pushed a button. Then we had to use a “keyboard” to tell the screen and the “computer” what to do. What we wanted to see. To read. It was slower than molasses in January! This Age all you young people have to do is think about what you want and it’s all there right in front of you- right in mid-air, in 4D no less. Even if you ask for toast- uh, “Crumple” as you call it. No, young man, you have it easy, believe me.”
“I am beginning to realize what it was like in the olden days. I have a question.”
“You said Calm Pew Terr. Sounds like something from the dark ages of believing and spirituality. We estudied that topic last "bi-days" in Edupod 101. What was that Calm Pew Terr?”
“Hah! Hah! Well, let’s see. A computer was a device for looking up stuff about maybe a city or a piece of history- like the years when religion held a partial grip on the planet. It kept things called “files” about anything you wanted. It stored pictures, even things you wrote down in these things called documents…”
“Dock You Mints?”
“Never mind, it would take me too long to explain. Now the “AirUDite” you are capable of configuring today is a much faster-what I would call- “process”. Thousands of times faster and more facts and figures at your fingertips than any old computer had. This Age your young brain is equipped with all the necessary circuits to have knowledge right there in front of you- like magic...”
“ Hmmm? Never mind. Just something else from the “oldentimes” before “enlightenment, harmony and peace”
“Anything else?”- he asked the young person seated on the reposing area next to him.
“Nope. Hey, want me to fly you back to your Retirement Planet old gaffer?”
“No, I am quite capable of flying my Statosphere back to earth myself! Besides my Husband will have a meal plan ready and he gets all bent out of shape if I’m late.”
“Bent out of….”
“Nevermind. There’s no time to explain. I have got to fly! Nice having a conversation with you- and please- Don’t ask what that is right now! Good Bye”.
Posted by Rob Reid at 9:07 PM