The number "666". That's the Devil's Number.
Good Old Satan.
The Lord of the Underworld.
The Man at the Mouth of the River Styx.
Beelzebub. Lucifer. Emperor of Hell.
So, using my special telephone, I made a call...
DEV: Good Morning, Dev here.
Me: Dev? Is this the Devil? It's Rob from up here on Earth Calling. We have an appointment?
DEV: Oh Robby-Bobby. Been waiting for you my friend?
Me: Friend?
DEV: Of course Friend. What else....oh right. You think just because I'm "The Devil" I got to be a baddie. Not so Robert. I put my pant's on one leg at a time just like everyone else.
Me: That's encouraging. So I should ask- How are you down there? Hot enough for ya?
DEV: Well, that's the first time I've heard that one. Heh. Heh. BUT- Down there? C'mon Rob. You've been reading that Christian Fiction again, haven't you?
Me: Well...Maybe...
DEV: Look Robbie, things are Hunkey Dorey. Like everyone I have good days and bad and by bad I mean some days I feel like I need a holiday but mostly I'm keeping busy. Boy, there sure is a lot of stuff happening around the Universe these days and again- not all of it bad.
Me: No, I suppose not.
DEV: I was just yacking to Henry the other day and he says...
Me: Uh, Henry?
DEV: Oh sorry. Shoulda said God,
Me: You call God- "Henry"?
DEV: Oh sure and he usually calls me "Archie"- like archangel, you know when we go fishing or something like that?
Me: What's that now...You and Hen...I mean God see each other socially? You fish together?
DEV: Oh C H Reist yes! He is a fisher of men you know. Never lets me forget that. You do know I'm an Angel Rob? Oh, I had a nasty fall a few millennia back but I'm back on my feet these last few thousand years. No, Henry and I have had some great old times...and I do mean "old". Gosh we go back many a year to be sure.
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| Me giving Henry's Son an iPad for his 2000th Birthday. The Kid was really surprized!! |
DEV: Nothing too deep there Rob, it was an old area code I had on Sturrmidgen.
Me: Sturrmidgen?
DEV: Yes, it's a planet just outside your solar system. Way, way ahead of you earthlings and they LIKE me there. I'm known as ...how should I put it so you'd understand...ummmm... A good-time Charlie?
Me: You're saying we are lagging behind when it comes to other "places" in this huge place we call our existence?
DEV: Leaping Lucifer, you'll always be lurching in the darkness as long as you allow types to rule like that North Korean fellah or Cheezie Face there in The U.S. or even that Harper guy like you had there in your country. What up wit dat?
Me: I honestly don't know sir. I don't know.
DEV: I do know one thing Robbie, I'm just a regular guy trying to make it through life.
Me: Sounds simple. Do you have any special powers? Like, can you move mountains or create havoc or make people go bad or do nasty things.
DEV: Whoa Nellie! You think I'm responsible for all the crap that goes down in your world? Look Robbie Bobby, all that bad stuff? Not my fault. I mean ask "Henry" when you talk to him next time. He'll tell you that all of you there are Earth are responsible for each other. There will always be good and bad. You can't get away from that but me being responsible for a few loose cannons like some of the so called "leaders" you have or have had in your world? No way Hose! That's all your doing. Oh and Communism...what the H E Double Hockey sticks is that all about? The things you guys come up with! Jesus Christ...you know Henry's son? Nice kid but a little "Fay". I mean running around with all those guys swimming and eating and wearing those itchy, white smocks? Anyway, still a nice kid with a lack of great fashion sense. But, Henry should be AND is- proud of him!
Me: You got kids Dev?
DEV: Oh fer sure. Me and Mary Magdalene hooked up oh, what...a thousand or so years ago. Nice gal but she wanted one thing and I wanted another, so we parted- like the Red Sea. By the way, that was me, you know. I know Henry gets the credit but no...it was me. Henry was a little under the weather that day so it's just something I came up with last minute like.
Me: Really? Good one Dev. Look, I have kept you long enough.
DEV: No problem Robbie Boy. I do have a tee off in an hour with Pierre Trudeau and No, he is NOT in Hell!! He's just become an excellent golfer since he passed into the next realm and you know what?
Me: What?
DEV: He's just an all-round nice guy and a great dancer too. I mean you saw that little jig he did behind Liz when she was about to sign your Constitution home- didn't you? I put that music in his head.
Me: You are a good guy. Too bad you've taken the rap all these years.
DEV: Rap? Jeeze I hate that stuff. Should be called 'CRAP". Anyhoo, I have survived. Look. Nice chattin' to you Rob and we'll do it again- before Hell freezes over....That's just a joke, eh?
Me: Yes. Right. Thanks. Bye.
