Saturday, October 14, 2017

ROBBLOG #661 W E E K E N D Edition

Time for my first call from the "Big Guy" upstairs since arriving on the Island.
I am so excited!
So grab a bag of popcorn and enjoy...


Me: Hello?

HIM: Well Hello Rob. It's me. Your Heavenly Father. You know up here floating around on a cloud.

Me: Hey, it's good to hear your voice Lord. How are things?

HIM: Now Rob, I should be asking you that question. So now you're an Island Boy Eh?

Me: Yes, finally. It's quite a change. So different out here.

HIM: Yes it is different but goof for you- and Tom!!, I've been following you along your journey across the country in your Priscilla. She took good care of you- didn't she?

Me: Yup. All was good...except for losing our Boy Doyle. That was sad. Very sad....

HIM: Yes it was but this thing we call life throws up some roadblocks now and then.

Me: I thought you threw those roadblocks up just to test us.

HIM: Afraid not Rob. All that stuff is happen-chance. Nothing to do with me- or with my Son.

Me: Oh...

HIM: Look. Don't give up your Doyle. Tony is doing what he can.

Me: Tony?

HIM: Saint Antonius. Helps you earthly humans look for things. You know like your car keys and debit cards.

Me: Oh, that Tony. ~pause~ Hey God I know I've hinted at this before but I sure would like to meet you in person some day.

HIM: Oh Hell Rob, that would burn your eyeballs out. I mean I give off such a bright, white glow
it would knock you off your feet. It was part of the reason the shepherds were sore afraid. Afraid of the light and their eyes were sore if they peeked at ME. Like looking at the eclipse.

Me: Hmmm. I thought that was a "Multitude of Angels" floating over those fields.

HIM: Oh it was but I was there too floating in the background. I mean it was my "earthly wife" bringing forth my newborn Son. I had to be there in the waiting room. Boy, that Mary. Such a trooper. Rides an uncomfortable ass for weeks just to have my kid. My ass is uncomfortable just thinking about it. That's a joke Rob...

Me: So I hear.

HIM: Actually, Mary and I are going out for coffee later today. Joe's gone fishing over on Nebula at Lake Titicaca and it gives us a chance to bond and catch up.


HIM: That you I hear giggling Robbie?

Me: Ya, Lake Titicaca always makes me laugh!

HIM: Me too. ~Hah. Hah.~

Me: While I have you on the line Your Heavenly Majesty....

HIM: Oh Rob! Superior Being is fine. We're friends after all. S.B. for short.

Me: Right, S.B. Um, should we all be worried about North Korea and Kim Jong.

HIM: Well Rob, that will all play out eventually but you know my hands are tied. Some of the folks down there on earth actually believe I can wave my hand and fix that sort of stuff. I can't. It's just the way of the world. You folks have to figure that out and good luck with Mr. Cheesepuff  who seems to have an itchy trigger finger.

Me: Oh. That guy.

HIM: It's a good thing there are reasonable, smart people there on the blue planet- like your Justin Trudeau, who do things the right way. That French fellah is a good "oeuf" too. Listen Rob, I got a pedi booked in two hours before I have coffee with the Virgin Mum, so I got to get going.

Me: Okay...Still calling her that eh?

HIM: Yes. Tough to change some people's minds and besides she still gets a lot of "I want this and I need that" from the Catholics. Look Rob, I want to wish you and Tom good luck there on the Island. That Island is one of my favourite places in the whole solar system. Those ocean views and those mountains. I was hot that day my boy. I was really cooking when I designed that place. Heaven on earth and it all came together in one afternoon.

Me. Yes...well, imagine that. We think we'll be very happy here.

HIM: You will. I can tell you that. For sure!

Me: Have a good day Sir and tell your Son I was asking after him.

HIM: I will Rob. He's off with the boys again this weekend. They're off ballooning somewhere. Kids, eh? They never grow up. Buh Bye now and take good care.

Me: Bye. Nice talking to you again.