Monday, October 4, 2010


It Gets Better.

Right now, there’s a movement on You Tube that originated with Canadian couple- Dan and Terry.

Dan and Terry were heartbroken when they heard about recent suicides among Gays and Lesbians. They recorded a You Tube video that they hope will speak to young and old who are thinking about taking their life because they can’t live with the discrimination and bullying.
They have posted it on You Tube.

Now the world is posting videos in response and support. You’ll see the famous and not-so-famous post their own video’s under the umbrella phrase- “It Gets Better”.
In their own personal video Dan and Terry- two very attractive Gay men, talk about their high school lives and how they were tortured and tormented-mentally, by bullies. They survived and have been together many years. They are married with a son. Now watching these two in tight tee shirts- with muscles flexing, one might ask- Why didn’t they just beat the crap out of the bullies and be done with it?
It doesn’t always work that way.
In our youth we are not as strong as we are later in life- both physically and mentally. You can find their You Tube video at Or just search on for “it gets better”.

Interesting that I should come upon this video.

In July I was asked by a local group to speak about “What it’s like being Gay and how to cope”. Tonight is the night that I answer that question in front of a group of volunteers who deal with that problem on one end of a phone line. On the other end is the person- young or old, who is asking the question and more importantly- asking for help.

I have been wondering what to do.
I’ve been wondering how I would approach the group.
What I would say.
What I would talk about.

I have decided I would not make a speech. I will have a few notes to remind me of things I wish to say- but I will not type up a structured speech.

Now, after reading the article in the Star and watching several of the videos, I know what I will do and say.

It Does Get Better.

Eventually one moves “out of the closet”. Sometimes- like I did, one has to move away, but the door opens- eventually. An individual grows stronger and once away from small minded of high school life and staff that can’t or won’t help, life will begin anew. Be assured, there are people out there waiting to talk and listen.

I don’t know if any youth read my blog but even if there’s just one, young, Gay person who is upset, hurting and feels alone, I want them to know, there are people out there that can help. There is support locally. One just has to know where to find it. There’s the website of which I am webmaster. There are call centres that are out there to help. It is one of those centres I will be speaking to and answering questions from, tonight.

There are others websites and organizations:

PFLAG- Parents and friends for Gays and Lesbians, at

EGALE- Equality for Gays and Lesbians at

OUTLOOKS Magazine at

FAB Magazine at

A simple e-mail to is a start.
It’s a contact.
A starting point.
It’s a friendly “voice”.

So, It Does Get Better. The past becomes a distant memory and new memories are made each day. My Husband Tom and I have been together for 25 years. Officially we were married 4 years ago. We don’t have kids- our “clocks” have ticked but if we both were 20 years younger- who knows what might be?

I’ll do my “speech”.
I’ll open windows.
I’ll start a dialogue and answer questions as honestly and as “straight” forwardly
as I can.

I’ll let you know what happens.

Have a great day!