Friday, April 16, 2010

W E E K E N D EDITION of RobBlog

First of all. It's snowing (Saturday a.m.). It's my fault- completely.
I erected a new Gazebo- canvas top and all, on the back deck Friday. The Swissshmobile has an appointment to have its snow tires removed.
So, just in case you were wondering- it's my fault!

Secondly, I believe this is a fortuitous time to be a Baptist or Evangelistic preacher. One can stick it to the minions who believe and follow your every word to a “T” or at least a crucifixion.

Why I can hear it all now-

A church in the wildwood. There’s background organ music and a choir humming softly. Every now and then someone shouts out the occasional “Amen”.

"Brothers and Sisters! According to the Holy book of Revelation, God is preparing the world for the end. All these earthquakes. The loss of life. The volcano erupting in that barren of all barren places-Iceland, spewing ash all over Europe. These things are events that have all come to pass through God‘s book.

AMEN!

People, this is just is the Lord reminding us he is still all powerful! God is showing the Devil that he still has the power!
Uh, Huh. Praise his Holy Name!

Praise God! God is casting out the sinful. Those lustful Gays and Lesbians and their same-sex marriage abomination.

Pray for the Homosexuals!

God’s about to reap havoc on the Catholics- worshipping idols and making Mary- the Mother of Jesus, the “Queen of Heaven”. Why, everyone knows that Tammy Wynette is the true Queen!

Yes suh! Praise Tammy Wynette too!

Maybe she’s not the real Queen of Heaven- but certainly Country Music is playing God’s tune. Then God is showing the Jews who’s boss for their orchestrated killing of Jesus and making it a holiday with bunnies and such plus all the other stuff they do- including telling funny jokes, making their daughters Princesses and clipping the genitalia of their young sons.

Uh. Huh. AMEN! Showing the Jews who’s boss! Pray for Israel and Palestine and the Holy Land which is rightfully “Our Lord’s” anyway.

Yes, my children the end is near. So I want each and every one of you to be elaborately generous when the offering basket comes your way today. It’ll save you a special place in Heaven. That is- IF you place a bill of a denomination of one hundred or more in the Lord’s basket.”


AMEN!

Music fades and the spirit of the Lord is shuttered by the sins of the world once again!

Well, I’m sure it sounds something like that and will look like the movie 2012.
Now available on Blu-Ray and DVD.
I should have been a preacher with my own TV Show and a background Chorus of 200 black background singers, gowned in sparkling gold robes.
Black you say?
Got to be black to show the white folk you have really made it!
Just like Justin Bieber on SNL last week.

Hmmm. God. All powerful.
Sorry about that Stephen Harper. You’re just not God-like material. Unless you happen to be that “Helena Woman” and then you might be God-like since I am sure she is “God-damning” you this very minute.

Have a good weekend!

AMEN!

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