Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Happy Holidays everyone!

Peace on Earth. Goodwill Towards everybody- men specifically.
So, what's this?
Religious types not getting along and loving one another?
A report today says :

"A brawl has erupted between rival clergymen participating in an annual cleaning ritual at the church built at Jesus' traditional birthplace. Armenian Orthodox and Greek Orthodox clergymen screamed at each other and beat each other with broomsticks during  cleanup inside the Church of the Nativity."

It may have gone something like this-

Priest: You stepped onto my part of this Holiest of  Sanctuaries!

Clergyman: Did not?

Priest: Did so! Look the toe of your sandal is touching the tile on my side on my side of the Lord's church as we speak.

Clergyman: That is my tile on MY side of the church. I have my toe on my tile. You are mistaken monkeyman.

Priest: You dare to call me monkeyman when one can plainly see your toe- which is an ugly toe in even more ugly sandals, is plainly corrupting my side of this beautfil place of consecration.

Clergyman: You would not know a consecrated spot if Jesus came up and bit you on the hairy behind to say to you- "this is the spot!"

Priest: How dare you!

Clergyman: Furthermore I have been told by many of my brethern that I have beautiful toes!

Priest: Hah! For certain that is a laugh! Now move your filthy, toe-jam encrusted tootsies from the Lord's favourite side of the Nativity Church.

Clergyman: ...and just who died and made you Pope you pinhead!

Priest: Brother I will take my staff and smite you if you continue to diminish my person!

Clergyman: You dickweed, that is not a staff you hold in your heathen hands, it is but a broomstick.

Priest: A holy broomstick that I will take great pleasure- along with God's Holy helping hand, to ram up your devil of a backside.

Clergyman: You are not worthy to ram that stick of the broom into my backside.

Priest: Pray that I don't, Brother! Pray that I don't!

Clergyman: Brother, you do me great dis-service but still I bless the tiles on which you stand- and stand quite heavily for thou art of the sow-like shape.

Priest: Bitch!

Clergyman: Satan's Broom holder!

Priest: Buggerer!

Clergyman: Lady Ga Ga lover!

Priest:~whack~ now remove that toe or I shall anoint you with my stick once more.

Clergyman: ~ouch~ Bastard! (turns to his fellow clergymen and cries aloud) C'mon girls let's lay a few broomhandles on this filthy tribe.


Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, How still we see thee lie...