Monday, November 22, 2010


That is so Gay!

I heard it for the first time yesterday. This “catch-phrase”, that straight men- and perhaps some women too, have picked up. I had read about the increased usage of those four words, I had just never heard it in public.

Then, yesterday I was in a store where I was bent down looking at some merchandise at floor level when I heard it. I was alone in the aisle until this guy and his gal came along looking at Christmas decorations on the opposite side of the aisle. I hadn’t even looked up at them. I heard no other words just the guy saying – “That is so Gay!” I didn’t even hear his “woman” answer. They just walked along the aisle past me. I didn’t even see their faces.

I started to fume just a little. I may have said something like that many times before myself to another Gay or Lesbian friend but this phrase from this guy, I took as a derogatory comment. Not towards me in particular at that moment but to some Holiday Ornament that he considered a little flamboyant and perhaps in a negative way “Gay”. That’s the whole point. It was uttered in a negative way. That part bugged me.I’m not even totally sure what he meant- to be truthful. Hell, if I don’t know the exact meaning of the phrase how could he? He didn’t say it as a joke. He meant that this object was “Gay” perhaps but in a bad way- like he considers being “Gay” a bad thing.

What if he said- That is so Jewish?
That is so Black.
That is so Indian.
That is so…on and on.

After a couple of minutes I thought I would search the store and tell this guy I had heard what he said and have him explain the usage of his phrase to me. Yes, I had my Man-Bag slung over a shoulder but I don’t believe he paid any attention to me or my bag. I wasn’t singing showtunes and I wasn’t doing choreography from a Chorus Line. So why did he have to say it out loud?

I did find him a few rows over. I had a good look at him. He was nothing to look at and again was quite oblivious to having me standing next to him looking at pencils and post-it notes. I knew he didn’t say it because I was Gay or had a manbag over my right shoulder. He had just used the phrase to comment on something he saw in a negative way.

It was a strange choice of words for an obviously “straight man” to use. Then, I decided to look for his little lady too. I found her near the tin foil and coffee filters. She didn’t have a clue either. She never even looked at me.

I was invisible to both of them.
I decided not to speak up.
I cursed myself for an hour afterwards. I wanted to know what he meant. What he thought it meant. Why did he use it- out loud in a store?
If he just wanted to draw attention to himself, he did.

In hind-sight I should have “twirled” around and said out loud-
“Listen girlfriend, if you think that’s Gay you should look at this. This is soooo Gay!”
I didn’t but maybe next time I will.
Have a “Gay Day!”