Monday, February 22, 2010
You wanna know what really burns my ass?
A flame about so high (the blogger suggests the correct height by dangling his downturned right hand the approxmiate height as to where a flame might appropriately burn his butt) and people who do all manner of "neighbourly" things. Such as, continually using the street for a parking lot instead of their own driveways. We have a few of these "street parkers" in the neighbourhood. Neighbours who use the street to park all manner of vehicles.
In some cases their homes reflect the same lack of attention- as their lack of pride, in realzing that a street full of parked cars ruins the appeal of the neighbourhood.
At some of these homes residents walk by garbage cans and recycle containers just to get through the front door. Guess they are just proud and want to show their visitors that they understand how to recycle tins and bag garbage. At many of these homes visitors have to pass by the recycle containers, folded cardboard, empty pizza boxes and garbage cans just to cross the threshold- on many occasions just turning the handle and walking right in.
Charming, isn't it?
(The fact that "nope" rhymes with "dope" is just simple happenstance.)
I can imagine if we left our front door unlocked. We'd have every piece of electronics removed- along with assorted jewellery and antiques, in no time flat.
These vehicles are always on the street- even when there's space in the drive. Sometimes they are on the lawn as well- summer or winter. Sometimes sprawled across the public sidewalk. Now I must be truthful here. On the street parking is- unfortunately, allowed on the street. However, most of the wayward vehicles lining neighbourhood streets originate from just a few houses. Again, no law is being broken here except an esthetic one- a bunch of parked cars ruining the streetscape. It's the old People vs Cars argument.
Now a couple of these neighbourhood "homes" are rented or are the domiciles of "boarders".
The renters who never cut the grass or tend to the gardens. Landlords who couldn't care less- since they reside elsewhere and don't have to look at the property. The boarders are young "chickies and cock-sure lads" who bring even more vehicles to the street. Quite often in most every type of weather and at various dayparts, some of the "young ladies" can be found outdoors standing near the street.
Picking up some extra bucks you say?
The young Lassies have obviously been told to keep their smoking outdoors- near the street.
They follow these instructions it appears. Then, after a refreshing few inches of a "smoking cancer stick", they neatly throw the lit butt right out onto the street.
Again, charming isn't it?
Of course there is always the concern that one of their still lit ciggies might land on a patch of oil from one of the aforementioned vehicles and set "things" on fire.
Wouldn't that be "hot"?
The young, "cock-sure lads" have their own idiosyncrasies- like throwing eggs, urinating on gardens and trees and quipping with residents who throw open their sashes to say- what in the hell do you think you're doing?
So what burns my ass? All of the above.
However, this is my neighbourhood too. I take a deep breath. Grab my broom and sweep the front steps, trying to ignore the streetscape and my dead peonies.
Peonies killed by too much pee.
Do I feel better now?
Yes, of course I do.
Have a good one!
Posted by Rob Reid at 6:41 PM