Monday, July 26, 2010


For cripes sake.
What is it with municipal politicians and the political process?
City Council in Orillia has taken a month off.
The agenda was heavy with “stuff” Monday night.

I mean stop the presses!

Car dealers in Orillia are actually parking their cars on municipal right-of-ways?
That’s what Archie in the comic book would say!
For cripes sakes when haven’t they parked on the roads?

I remember at my Grandfather’s funeral on the day after Boxing Day, adults in my family had to ask Mr. Thor to move his blessed cars from the street in front of my Grandparent’s house- on Front Street South, just so funeral guests could get into the house or park within walking distance. It was a snowy day.
The house still stands at 217 Front Street South. See for yourself. It looks pretty much the same. Vehicles everywhere- cars, trucks and vans scattered along the street from the corner of Front Street South and Atherley Road to Poughkeepsie Street.
When I travel that route to see my Mum- who lives a couple of blocks further along, I have to manoeuvre over pot holes large enough to swallow a certain councillor’s head. While doing this you have to keep your eyes on salespeople and the car-buying public who simply step out into traffic. Sometimes they use Elmer’s rules and look left-right-left but not always.

There’s the Maintenance Service center on the West side of the street which is divided from the new Car Sales lot on the East side by Front Street South. Usually the street resembles a continuation of the parking lots along each side of the street, rather than a city thoroughfare.

I also need to mention the “Speedway” that has existed- since the days that I lived at home in the last century, from the corner of Front Street South and Cochrane Street, along Cochrane Street to West Street South where “the boys” at Thor’s test their cars at speeds certainly well over those designated on City Streets. Sometimes it’s an OPP Police car being serviced and driven by a serviceguy that speeds towards West Street

“Hey buddy! Where’s the donut fire?”

I digress.

Then at City Council the mind-boggling decision of what to do with Hillcrest School?
Oh Dear.
Another toughie!
Pass the Tylenol.

A Community Neighbourhood group has been represented at council, sent to petitions to council and more.
During Monday’s Council Meeting the ADHOC Committee basically said-
“Yes, let’s have a park- shall we?”
“Good! Yeah!”- thought the committee members in attendance.
Then council also added…

Look, I am just “fooling around” here. This is for entertainment value only, just like saying that one of the councillors has a big head, when in reality- most of them do. The following is NOT what was said in reality of course. I just made it up!


Then council also added-

"However a bunch of right of right of centre Christian Churchgoers- who really don’t have a denomination, want to turn the building into a big old church with huge videotrons, a light show, microphones, dancing tribal boys and more. They want to park 300 cars! Oh yes, they don’t want to pay any taxes either."
“Hey”- says one councillor speaking up the adjacent councillor’s ass, “That sounds real good. The wife likes cars, videotrons and dancing boys!”

Blah! Blah! Blah!
The council contemplates.
This Neighbourhood group is really getting to be quite the bother, they think.
Quite the B O T H E R !

Then, one audience member at the council meeting was perhaps heard to say to another- who was annoyed at being annoyed :

“A Bother? Worse than Swartz’s Council Hi-Jinks TV Show?”- you say?

“Ummm. That’s Council Hi-Lights!”

“Oh, sorry. But worse than Hi-Lights? Really?”- he put forward the question again both acknowledging and correcting his mistake.

“Y’sir. Much more worse. They are a big pain in the patootie”- says the annoyed spectator. He continues-

“Looks like this here heathen group is trying to block the work of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”

“Not the holy family!!”- the other annoyed participant suggests.

“Hell no! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it’s an architectural firm from Mexico City. They won the bid! From what I hear’d they even built huge churches in developing countries from the brown stuff that elephants leave behind on the ground.”

“Elephant dung?”

“Yup. You got it. All natural construction!”

“Yuh don’t say!”- says the first one.

“I do,” says the second really annoyed spectator.
Then they started to talk about the Blue Jays...

Just another special night at council as they “surf” the big wave to the end of their term.

I say toss them all out and start again- only this time let’s vote in some women and Gay men! Minorities too.
Wait, Women and Gay Men are minorities!

I believe Mississaga Street would look simply divine in various shades of pink!