Thursday, June 24, 2010

ROBBLOG #91

Read the following in your best “Ed Sullivan” parody voice:

Now tonight

~ clasp hands together~

reet here on r-uh stage Laydies and Gentlemen we present…

~cheers and screams~

All right. All right. You youngsters up there-

~he points~

just calm down.

~ Arms now folded across his chest as he walks in a sort of block step~

Especially you youngsters from the extreme right for you know not what you do.

~he laughs out loud above the roar of the crowd~

Tonight here on R stage to viewers across the United States and Canada, we present the Royal Moscow Ballet. Topo Gigo and Canada’s Wayne and Shuster. But now, here on R stage, for the first time anywhere, give a big hand and a wave of the Maple Leaf- in Conservative Blue, to Stephen Harper and the G8! Let’s hear it for them!

~ silence~

Good Lord! What is your problem Canadian People?
Your Government of Mr. Stephen Archibald Harper- not his real middle name I just made it up, has spent about 2 point one billion dollars.
930 Million Dollars for security and a half mill for that fake lake at the Energy Centre at the Ex Grounds. I hope they at least keep the lake in place for the Canadian National Exhibition in August. I think Canadians should see what a “fake, half million dollar lake” really looks like before they place their ‘X” in the next Federal Election.
Fake, probably.

The military and police are out in droves. Thousands of officers are in Downtown Toronto from forces across the country accompanied by a Water Canon and a big fence. Let’s see.
Take a few million.
Carry the one.
Add 2 million. Divide by 33 and add another 90 million.
Good Gosh! 930 Million dollars on the nose.

Funny that most of this “G” business takes place in Toronto because Mr. Stephen Archibald Harper hates Toronto, so why did he choose Toronto instead of say Ottawa or Three Rivers Quebec.
One answer to that might be the fact that Toronto is Liberal Red and perhaps many big “red” businesses are going to see some extra cash come their way as a result of all those protestors buying things in their shops. Things like 2 pieces of Bristol board for a dollar and a ton of black felt pens- oh- glue sticks too.

These Liberal Red people may have dollar signs in their eyes and begin to believe that Archibald Harper is a good guy and decide to vote for him.
People!
People!!
People!!!
Haven’t we learned anything by living in this man’s idea of “Democracy”? Why he’d have the troops and tanks in the streets every day of the week if he thought that he could sway us to his way of  "rightful” thinking.
Look at my eyes. You are growing sleepy.
Now say after me.
Jesus is Lord.
Praise Jesus.
God is Good.
Stephen is better.
He could drive the tanks into Orillia too. If we saw those tanks crawling through the streets of Orillia Town we’d just think it was another driving school from Toronto clogging up Matchedash and Peter Street North.
We’d just merrily drive by heading to Mariposa Market to buy some brownies- as usual. How long are Canadians going to be hoodwinked into thinking this man has a “grasp” of what he’s doing?
He has a Minority for cripes sake!!

~ Be calm now. Keep the blood pressure down~

Nobody seems to care and the Libs and NDPers are too afraid to stand up and say-
“Chuck you Stephen Archibald!!”- you are coming down!!
They should bring him down.
Chuck him. Just like he’s chucked that poor old Governor General and just before Liz’s visit too. Although, I don’t hold Madam GG in the same high reverence I once did after she bailed “Archie” out of trouble- twice!!
What were you thinking Miss Jean? Where did it get you?
Dumped out of Rideau Hall after one stinking term and after you had just re-papered the downstairs throne room and installed matching his and her towel racks!
The Towels racks weren’t the only things that got screwed to the wall.
Just where is he sending you during the majority of the QE II’s visit?
Why China of course.
I hear China is delightful this time of year.
The beheadings and firing squads in Squares across major Chinese Cities are absolutely at their best this time of year!
Better practice the art of eating with chop sticks cause you’re stuck with it.
Rots of Ruck Yawn.

Anyhoo, Stephen Archibald Harper’s G spots are no secret now. A bush with a golf course and a hot tub in the middle of bug-infested Muskoka and a Convention Centre on the shores of a “real” lake in a city that will resemble a ghost town for two weekend days.

It’s a tale that seems incredibly bogus and yet it’s real. All two billion dollars of it!
It’s a really big shoe!

~applause~

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