Wednesday, June 9, 2010

ROBBLOG #83

Bear with me for a moment.
I have a few things to get off my chest.

For God’s Sake Iggy- Mr. Ignatief, get your freeking voice on the radio and picture on the TV and in the newspapers. Let Canadians know the Liberals are still there to save our Canada! Have tea with Liz and tell her this Stephen guy has got to go before this "Dictator in Canuk Clothing" rips down the Parliament Buildings and builds his Palace- just like yours back home.
Maybe slip some Bailey’s into that tea and she’ll be more receptive.

I should throw this same message out to Mr. Layton too. Let’s get Steve!!
I like Mr. Layton.
Jack- if you will.
Tom and I got a hug from Jack at Toronto Pride last year. My he is a handsome devil, I’ll give him that much. It’s just that I don’t think his party can overtake the “beasty” currently in the PMO. Maybe Iggy and Jacky together could but Michael says it’s just a rumour, two rolled into one. However, tough times call for tough measures.

So Gentlemen, enough is enough with this blowhard PM of ours. Good Lord he’s getting away with things that previous governments never would have- yet he has a minority government. Why is everyone afraid to touch him.
To curse him.
To cross him.
To bring him down. Why I’ll wager a hard-fought campaign could lick the smug smile right off his chubby cheeklets.
Of course we all have to have respect for the office. I wish him no ill.

He’s spending like there’s no tomorrow. One Billion dollars on security for the two “Summits”.
Whuck??
Yet Toronto Pride was cut from Conservative funding.
Why?
Because the minister who passes out the money for the Harperites happened to have her picture taken with a couple of good old Drag Queens last year and the Max Factor hit the fan!

If I remember correctly, it was difficult to tell who were the Queens and who was the “real” girl in the photo.
All I’m saying is get the lead out and get Harper out!
I’ll be keeping an eye out for both you boys at the 30th Pride Parade and yes Jacky, I’ll be looking for a hug and a squeeze afterwards too. Of course Olivia can have a squeeze too. She did last year after all. We even discovered their anniversary is day or two away from ours.
Cute, eh?

While on the topic of our “Conservatives”. Watch out for a “person” running in an Orillia Ward for Councillor. He’s from “out west” and his website says he moved his family here to Orillia because of the “Small Town Values”. It’s that word “values” I am worried about. Look before you make your ‘X”!

Thanks for “bearing” with me.
One more thing.
Now yesterday’s RobBlog number 81 got some interesting response. No, I don’t want to write “Gay Porn” but I am sure I could. I was telling a story straight from the heart- or at least memory. Both were true. The one about the bat I told in person to theatre audiences during my one man show a few years back called- “It’s All About Me”.
Yes, it was on the cusp of dirt and titilation but as a write I have to be able to “bare” my soul. I was a young thing back then and like all young things you could have called me “Randy”!

Finally, once upon a time there were 3Bears. Four if you count “baring my soul”.One chomped on a guy’s calf while stranded up a tree. Licked his lips and made slurping sounds, so I heard.
Another chased a guy on an ATV.
Now a lady gets chased in daylight down a country road on her bike. She says it was a stupid thing to do- to turn and ride, however, rather than taking a moment to think about making a big sound- like what a fart, I too would have peddled my ass along the road hoping a car might come by or at least the hand of Jesus would swoop down from Heaven above and scoop me into the safety of his bosom.
Being chased and partially devoured by a bear is not an item on my “bucket list”.

Beware people. Keep your eyes open. Have spray with you or a can of “horn”. I think they have cans that make a “horn-type” sound at Canadian Tire.
Maybe put on a Whitney Houston song on your IPod and turn up the volume.
Anything to scare it off.
I find staying out of the woods and off country roads is the best plan.

It’s like the best contraception in the world is not having sex, so too, staying away from places where Yogi and his friends live is 100 percent effective.

Have a good one.

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