Sunday, January 8, 2012

ROBBLOG #363


Today, the story of a man who saw things.

Once upon a time there was a somewhat spiritual man- Peter, who loved to stand in his kitchen and wash pots and pans over and over again. One cold, January winter’s night, as he was washing a particular pot for the umpteenth time, a bright light came flooding through his kitchen window.

“Gee, they finally must have fixed that streetlight!”- he exclaimed!

Then suddenly, in the rays of yellow and white light, a sandal-wearing man- about 30ish, with long brown hair and a moustache appeared in what the man now came to believe was a "vision of some description".

“Wow! You're Jesus Christ!”- the spiritualistic man gasped.

But he was wrong. The apparition coaxed him to guess again.

“Then it’s you! Michael Jackson. Gosh, your skin really is white! I like your nose but what’s the story with the moustache and all that mascara. What were you thinking?

The Man in the vision placed his hands on his hips and shook his head to the left and right. Apparently the floating bits of particle and light was not Michael Jackson either.

No, for it was another man of significantly higher power- yet not one number one hit record to his credit. The man made a peculiar sign with his hands and fingers and proceeded to show the pot washing Peter a pair of blue undershorts.  For some inexplicable reason, the man-in-the-kitchen washing pots and pans seemed to be able to read the man-in-the-vision’s mind- who was neither Michael Jackson nor Jesus Christ.

“Underwear? You want me to do something with your underwear?”

The floating conveyer of blue shorts shook his head again.

“You want me to buy somebody some underwear?”

The apparition smiled and held up two fingers on his right hand and with his left he made a series of three concentric circles. Meanwhile in the background a picture of a village deep within the jungles of the Amazon appeared where Peter could see youngsters running about- sans underwear.

“You want me to get 2000 pairs of underwear and send them to children in the Amazon?”- He cried.

The vision gave him a thumb’s up and slowly dissolved into the darkness of the window.

Without hesitation Peter the pot man cried aloud-

“This will make me famous. I will soar above the heads of my brothers. This vision talked to me and showed me the way. Holy Fatima!”- he was so happy there were tears in his eyes. "Maybe the vision was Jack Layton"- he cried aloud!

So, he gathered others who were of like mind and they produced 2000 pairs of the finest undergarments they could sew right in the man-in-the-vision's kitchen. They all agreed that they were helping poor Jungle children to see the light or at least be more cleanly- like the rest of the western world.

 “Maybe we can even give tuck a little pamphlet in with the underwear that details the message we are sending to these unfortunate examples of children running lost and without direction through the hot, sticky rainforest”- he clasped his hands together and offered praise to the man-in-the-vision-  through the sparkling glass of his kitchen window, who was neither the Christ nor Michael Jackson.

“We’ll make them believe that underwear is good. We’ll show them the way. Before long they’ll hold the same beliefs and sanitary ideas that we do. We’ll make them believe and instruct them to only listen and follow our commands or the desires of the man-in-the-vision and not be allowed to seek their own way and ideas. Oh, it will make the man-in-the-vision so happy.”- he continued to shout aloud to everyone, “ Our place in the yet-to-come will be undoubtedly reserved!”

The others neatly concurred. They smiled broadly, smirked most heartily and kept on sewing at the kitchen table that belonged to the man-who-saw-the-visionn.

Meanwhile, the man-in-the-vision stood invisible outside the window and could only shake his head. The pots and pans man had missed the point entirely for the man-in-the-vision was a designer of men's fashion underwear and needed 2000 pairs of underwear for a spring showing during Fashion week. He heard that the pots and pans man was a mover and shaker and had heard if anyone could make 2000 pairs of underwear in time for the spring show- he could.

The man-in-the-vision couldn't explain fully the light that appeared behind him as he peered through the pots and pans' man's kitchen window that first evening.

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