Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Well, Lah-Dee Freekin’-Dah…

Nearly half of us take exception to the Harperites and how they are wielding their power. Nearly half of us from Sea to Sea have a certain dis-like for the head honcho- Mr. Harper. This is according to the results of another poll from a research company based in our Nation’s Capital.

The company- Abacus, gets down to the nitty-gritty, saying that this latest poll shows  49% of us disapprove of the Federal Government, while another 49% are left with a less-than-favourable impression of Dear Mr. Harper. Some of that may be the same 49%.

I mean on the bright side, 35% still “like” him and another 24% “still sort-of-like” his party. Those are all the folks- like Toronto’s less-than-Mayor Rob Ford, who wouldn’t be caught dead or at the very least “naked” at Toronto’s Pride Celebrations this weekend but wouldn’t have a problem keeping a few guns around the old homestead- just in case.

Keep in mind that 60% of us never wanted Harper and his cronies in the first place.
More of us voted for the other guys or didn’t bother to vote at all.

Here in Simcoe North, the Liberals and Greens and NDP have been getting real cozy as they consider shoving just one candidate forward to stand in the next election to outsmart and outvote and dis-lodge that Tory pain-in-the-ass Bruce Stanton.
That man’s never had a thought of his own unless of course he running low on gas and
is able- through a difficult thought process, to turn into the local Pioneer Gas Bar. What comes out of Harper’s mouth lodges in Mr. Bruce’s resulting in the same rhetoric and same Conservative values gushing forth. When Harper goes down the tubes- and he will, Stanton will follow.
It’s just a shame we have to wait another 3 years.
Hell, we hardly recognize our country by then.
However, by that time we may recognize a huge part of Canadian Values being replaced by American Values and political agenda, lodged deep within our culture and country.

One thing for sure- you never see a Conservative Politician anywhere in the Pride Parade.
No Sir!
No blue and white signs.
Afraid they’ll catch koodies?
Oh, much worse.
Maybe it’s the fear of catching the flash of a Lesbian titty or two. Those things come in pairs you know.
Maybe the fear of using a toilet seat and turning Gay a month later is still out there.
People believe that you know.
Those people live in tarpaper shacks in the back woods but all the same…

Now, I am not saying everyone has to attend Pride. Personally, the last couple of years there have been a few too many straight guys ambling along Church Street, oogling the aforementioned Lesbian Boobies and smirking at boys holding hands to say nothing of getting their pictures taken with the Drag Queens.
A Faggot hasn’t got a chance!

Even the “straight gals” make a nuisance of themselves by taking pictures of their girlfriends with the mostly naked and terribly muscle bound Trojan Condom boys or even the athletic TD Bank Boys at the “Cool Mist” tent.

I tell you, it’s getting to be a real circus and the star performers are the heterosexuals.
Don’t you folks see naked muscles and tanned titties in your culture?
For Cripe’s Sake, it seems like some of these straight fellas have never seen uncovered breasts in their life.
It’s like a God Damned free “Peep Show”!

Anyway, straight folks you find at Pride.
Conservatives- not so much.
Not that they wouldn’t be welcome and look if you want to come don’t feel you have to clothe yourself in Liberal “red” or NDP “orange” to hide from us. We can pick you out pretty quickly.

Case in point:

“Hmmm…. Look at that Joyce. That fellah over there has one of his balls hanging right out of his denim shorts. Have you ever??!!

“Disgusting Jean. Ummm…. I thought they were supposed to have two of those things? You know, I believe this is exactly the reason Stephen Harper and Mr. Ford stay clear of this public display of nakedness and frivolity. Things floppin’ in the breeze all over the streets…”

“What things Joyce?”

“Ball things!”

“Oh yes. Well. Maybe it’s a Gay thing and one of ‘em is strapped up inside. You know the same way they just wear an earring in one ear.”

“Listen Joyce, that don’t mean nothing! My Grandson Bruce wears a smart little ¼ carat stud in his left ear and he is far from being Gay!”

“But Jean. He’s never been married- has he?”

“No. Hasn’t found the right girl…that’s all!”

“But he’s 36 years old and he hangs around a lot with that Tommy Rafferty fella.”

“Joyce! Dey is just friends- and that’s it! Get it Joyce?”

“Oh yes. Yes. I believe I do…”

“Now then, let’s see if …”

“Jean! Look there’s your Grandson and that Tommy boy standing right over there having their picture took with those nude gladiators!”

“Probably just friends of theirs. That’s all. C’mon Joyce let’s go get a sausage in a bun!”