Sunday, May 29, 2011


What To Do When There’s Nothing To Do?

For those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer when you have plenty of idle time- unless you’re watching the grass grow, I offer you a compendium of meaningless activities.

1. Make a video of a mosquito sucking blood from your forearm and upload it to You Tube.

2. Google “Cannibalism among British Blue Bloods”. Yup, Royals used to feast on the lower classes with the notion that they could sidestep disease- unless of course the “meal” had the plague or something. Even at beheadings the lower-classes folk would sop up the blood for a late night beverage hoping to attain some of the Royal vigour. You know, on second thought, just leave it be.

3. Call someone from the telephone book- or 411 online, just to ask them if their refrigerator is running. If they answer- say- well ya better go catch it then!
Juvenile, I know…

4. Construct a dartboard with the Prime Mister’s face on it and then….naw! It’s too easy.

5. Take up axe-throwing as a hobby and practise in a nearby park on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

6. Lose a few unwanted pounds. Go on the “Eat Only What You Kill Diet”.

7. Makeup a new law something like- You can’t have Sex with your partner- if they’re unconscious. Wait, the Supreme Court in Ottawa just covered that one? Nevermind.

8. Strap yourself to the top of the CN Tower and walk around its perimeter…Excuse me?
What’s that? You’re kidding. They’ve already thought about that one? Who knew?

9. Invite a few friends to an elegant sit-down dinner and serve KFC’s Double Down as the entre.

10. Drive to a “strip mall” and take your clothes off while you shop.

If you feel you’d like to add to the list, send me an e-mail. Meanwhile, never say you never have nothing to do.