Friday, December 3, 2010

ROBBLOG #189 W E E K E N D Edition

Gawd, I am getting old.

I had my hair cut the other day. The white towel and the black apron that Colleen tied around my neck pushed all that extra skin right up to my chin- the lower one.
I had a goddamn turkey neck!

Colleen has this mirror in her salon that is not the most flattering of mirrors. It’s like a mirror you would find in a “House of Mirrors” at a carnival sideshow. When I see myself in that mirror I look fat, old, tired and stretched- even on my “pretty” days.
That turkey neck though is still etched in my mind.
How did this happen?

Then, I have those “Pinocchio” lines on each side of my mouth. I look like a wooden marionette.
Like Pinocchio.
If I were rich, I’d have a ton of Botox plugged into those babies but I’m not, so I deal with it.
Badly, I might add.

Usually, I grow a beard that covers those ugly lines and fat chin in the winter but I haven’t thought about it this year. Then, there’s the cold. A few years ago I started really feeling the cold in the winter.
I hate winter at the best of times.
Oh, a bit of snow during the Holidays is nice but it wears thin after that. Lately, when I don’t have my tootsies shoved into a pair of slippers, I’ve taken to wearing two pairs of socks.
How manly!

Turkey Necks look best on Turkeys

I get cold. I can sit next to the roaring fireplace- yet my feet freeze.
Thin blood?
Poor circulation?
Just old age?
Yes. Probably.

7 months from now and I’m 60! Next month the Government will send me info about my Canada Pension. Should I take it now or in 5 year’s time? The consensus is that I should take it now. It might not be around at 65.

Some evenings after wearing a belt all day, I can hardly wait to take it off. No, I don’t have a big stomach that falls over the top of my pants.
No, it’s nothing like that.
It’s just the feeling of being constrained.
I believe it’s an age thing too.

Sometimes wearing socks can feel restraining too.
I have to rip them off and go bare. Then, I get cold again.

In the winter, I really miss wearing thongs.
You know- Beach sandals. Flip Flops.
I think it’s healthier than having one’s feet shoved into hot socks and shoes. Hard to do in Ontario, in December and January. That’s why I need to be living in the tropics- like Hawaii.
That’s another Blog.

I am getting old. Older. More Senior.
I hate it.
Until there’s a pill to take to rejuvenate the body and mind and make me young again, I’ll just have to deal with it.

Just like everyone else.