Monday, May 23, 2011

ROBBLOG #268

Now, I don’t want to come right out and call Harold Camping- who predicted Judgement Day was to be May 21st, along with his followers- a bunch of complete assholes but until another- better word, comes along, I will.

What a bunch of assholes!
Wait.
That’s unfair! Let me re-phrase that.
They are a bunch of rich, holy assholes.
Especially Harry!

Now “harried Harry” is telling us: Oops...I meant October 21st. Yah. That’s it. Judgement Day is October 21.
Oh Boy!
Silly me. I carried the 2 and divided by 9, then added the cruxifiction and- well what the fuck!- it’s really October 21.
You can quote me on that!
Yes Sir!
Quote me all you like because I have another 5 months to come up with an even cornier reason that the world didn’t end come October 22nd.
Besides all I have to do is make some huge stickers to cover all those billboards.
The sticker could say- “Sorry. I meant October 21st”
Or
“Only kidding, I meant May 21st. Silly me, eh?”

Mr. Camping is worth millions and his ministry too, all from a radio studio (Family Radio) located on a normal city street, sandwiched between- a pizza parlour and a bong shop. He’s the “cheese” in the centre.

(I can’t remember what real businesses flanking Harold, so I made two up.)

Mr. Camping in 2009, received $18.3 million in donations and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities. He’s not hurting one bit. In fact the poor guy had to take “the wife” to a hotel room on Saturday when he discovered his mistake- just to get away from people. Probably needed to give her a good “pile-driver” right in her Regina Saskatchewan to ease his pain. I believe him, whatever the truth is. Dear Mr. Camping needed to get away from people who wanted to string him up for taking all their hard-earned money- and investing it- for his ministry.
Mr. Camping works in mysterious ways.

Ya gotta know that Camping is just one hell of a regular guy. He tells us he lives in a “modest” home in California.
Ahhhh.
Really?
Look kids, his biggest worry are the earthquakes that will tumble his “modest” bungalow to the ground or the “wild fires” that will turn it to ashes.

The number one reason that Jesus Christ/God didn’t return on Saturday?
There is no such person.
He doesn’t exist.
There is no God.
Heaven is a fairy tale right up there with the Federal Conservatives.
People buy into fairy tales very easily.
They do, you say?
Yes.
40 percent of voters bought into the Harperite’s Fairy Tale and believe me the Conservative/Reform/Alliance fellas are the last of their kind who want to be standing to or considered to be part of “a fairy tale”- for obvious reasons.

Look. My spirit guides in the next level, all tell me that Camping and his sort are frowned upon- heavily, in the next existence- or plane of life.
They are laughable.
Course it’s easy to laugh after one has passed on and realize what a tough go it really is on the “earthly plane”.
It’s a fact.
In fact…
Here’s another fact.
Although he doesn’t want me to tell you, much of this blog that I am typing here- right now, is coming to me from that very plane of existence. I am being told what to type to you by one of my spirit guides.
He’s a bit cheeky and irreverent.
Let’s call him Jeff.
I...ummmm…

Jeff just called me a dickwad because as he says- “Jeff is my name, poodle –puss”.

Jeff likes to call me cute “pet names”.

Enough of this today.

Jeff will continue to put more wise words of “whatnot” into my mind and heart- on the next RobBlog.

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