ROBBLOG #505

Having seen the Garage Door Players through 10 years of productions I have to say the theatre road is a difficult one to tread. 

 

I have always considered my productions "professional"- not Community Theatre. Actors and crew get paid. No, we are not Equity. No, we do not receive grants- municipal or otherwise. Part of the reason for that is I have not officially claimed "non-profit" status. The hoops you have to jump through are involved and laborious. I often refer to the Garage Door Players as a "never-make-a-profit" theatre company. That fits us to a "T".  

Orillia "Sadie Flynn" Cast

 

Our "profits" all go to paying our production expenses- as well as cast and crew. You know, it's not easy to secure money from sponsors and put “bums” in seats. Sometimes, I'm as successful as throwing a 20 dollar bill at a slot machine at Casino Rama.

But I continue. 

 

We have just finished a short summer run at the Gravenhurst Opera House to terrific audiences, all part of the Gravenhurst OP's Summer Season. It was a wonderful experience. We co-produced the Norm Foster Comedy “Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak” with the Gravenhurst Opera House- something we have never done before. It certainly eased my workload as the Gravenhurst Opera House did all the promotion for the summer season. Even when we use non-theatrical facilities, we pay top price and still have to bring in much of our own equipment and crew and promote the show as best we can with limited funds.

 

This “Sadie Flynn” Show played in Orillia as well, back in May and June. We could not get theatre space so, we found ourselves in the Stubley Auditorium at St. James once again. Yes, a church auditorium. I always try to downplay that fact and just refer to the show location as the Stubley Auditorium but many media outlets just have to promote the hell out of the fact that it’s a church.

Oie!

It’s not the best of situations but the Deacons at the church have been generous with The Garage Door Players. They know I don’t perform full-frontal nudity or use gritty cuss words, so I get a green light on my productions. We staged Sadie Flynn on the floor this time just in front of the Stubley stage. I wanted a change, so we played on the floor with the audience- in the round” as it is usually called. It was fun to play it that way and have the audience almost surround the actors. The audiences enjoyed it as well.

 

 

In Gravenhurst, we performed our Sadie Flynn in the upstairs theatre- equipped with terrific sounds and lights, with three new actors who did not appear on stage in Orillia. Although none of our actors are Equity, all of them have had many years of experience- some decades. I say this because there are some theatre people who get their knickers in a knot regarding Equity and Non-Equity but as a friend said to me recently- who directs Equity actors- “I just do a different type of theatre than you do.”

My director friend is right. I don’t work with unionized cast or crew.

 

Up at the Gravenhurst Opera House never once did an audience member ask the question- "Are you Equity or Non-Equity". It's like apples and oranges. Equity is one facet of theatre, the Garage Door Players are the "oranges".

Equity does not automatically give you experience or make you a better actor. Only the actor can do that by working hard at his or her craft. Equity protects an actor's rights. Equity allows time to pee. Time to eat. Time to rest. In non-Equity theatre we are the slave drivers. We have reckless attitudes and never give a thought to the well-being of cast and crew. We work ‘em till they drop to their knees and plead for food and a warm place to sleep. 

 

In the Orillia/Muskoka area I don't believe most people even give Equity a second thought. In Toronto it's a different basket of apples- especially in the big theatres. Look what happened to Dancap when they brought in a terrific non-equity show a couple of seasons ago. A great show but some critics like Mr. Ouzounian over at The Star panned it. Mostly, because of the non-equity component. A good show got a bad review. Other Toronto reviewers loved the show- even though it was not unionized. 

 

 

When we began the run of Norm Foster's "Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak" our Friday/Saturday numbers were low. By Thursday they were creeping up and by showtime on Friday and Saturday we had substantial houses.

Why?

Great advertising and media coverage for one thing but I also believe those theatre-goers who saw the Tuesday through Thursday shows spread the word.

So, if we weren't "professional" enough for these audiences- or "good enough", why would they pass the word? Because we were good enough and professional enough and we did it with local actors and crew from Orillia and Muskoka.  

 

The question I did hear several times?

Why are you performing at the Gravenhurst Opera House and not in Orillia?

Again- apples and oranges

 

Some days you can't win for trying but we are going to keep trying and producing new shows and using the "local actors" we choose who have long resumes of successful stage productions. 

 

As Orson Hubble says in Sadie Flynn- "A person can't ask for more than that can they?"

ROBBLOG #504

Heaven must be getting awfully crowded these days.

 

Not the “religious” Heaven but just plain old “Heaven”- our next level of existence where we rest from the toils of this earthly plain.

 

Plain old “Heaven” is a beautiful spot with sunshine, green grass and condominiums to house all those who have gone before- no matter what station they held on this earthly plain. I know this to be true because one day many years ago, Tammy Faye Baker had a guest on her television show who had travelled to Heaven and back. Sometimes, I watched her and Jim Baker because I couldn’t believe there were so many gullible people who sent money to support their Christian nonsense. It was frequently good for a smile. This particular guest had in fact been in Heaven for a few minutes and came back to “life” to report on what she had seen there.

I remember her saying “condominiums and green grass”.

Apparently Heaven was abuzz with construction. Condos were being built absolutely everywhere. Tammy Faye didn’t even bat a six inch eyelash.

She truly believed and probably contacted a “Heavenly Real Estate Agent” that very afternoon.

 

But I digress.

We have lost another “angel” on earth and I sincerely hope they are still building those heavenly condos.

 

Bernice Haley passed on Labour Day Monday.

 

Grannie B "marshalling" the Santa Claus Parade

 

Bernie was always a great supporter of Swisssh Radio. She told artists- who eventually sent me CD's, about this eclectic online radio station from Orillia (www.swisssh.ca)

She gave out Swisssh Business cards and even encouraged me one year, to set up Swisssh at Mariposa. That year I met Dave Gunning, Ron Nigrini and Susan Aglukark among others. Swisssh still plays their music along with several others she suggested- local artists too.

 

She also supported my Theatrical Group- The Garage Door Players- one year helping us sell tickets, as well as tearing round the downtown, taping up our posters in storefronts. She didn’t want to take money for doing it but eventually she did.

 

She was always there supporting the LGBTQ2 community both at the flag raising and at Pride events.

She volunteered every year at the Orillia Santa Claus Parade. A true Santa's Helper. 

 

Bernie was a true multi-tasker.

 

She had lived up the street from us until the house fire in the spring where she lost everything- even her precious CD’s. The community responded and she had enough money to see her through. Around the time of the fire she found out she had Cancer. Bernie had been fighting other “demos” too and Cancer must have been the icing on the cake. She was tired of it all so

she chose quality of life and left us all behind a few days ago.

 

Will she be missed?

Of course.

It would take ten of us to replace her.

 

Recently during an interview, she told a friend- Nathan Taylor of the Packet: 

"I'm just going quietly into the good night."

What?

Our Grannie B?

 

Never.

 

ROBBLOG #503

Tom and I have lost someone very near and dear to us this day.

 

Our friend Sienny passed away this morning.

 

Cancer.

The cancer had been there inside her small- yet robust body, for a year and a half. She fought it...no, wait.

I think P ignored the evil within her. A disease that was destroying her 92 year old Dutch soul.

I am sure she would have had 100 years in her, if it wasn’t for that blasted, unrelenting cancer.

 

Fuck that Goddamned disease!

 

Mrs. P- as we called her, should have gone on forever. You always have this crazy idea that people like her will.

 

In the past year when we took her out to dinner, she asked us a couple of times why- after such a wonderful life, does there have to be so much pain. We told her we didn’t know but agreed it was unfair.

 

She was a best friend.

She loved chocolate. What’s not to like?

Sienny was the best friend that Tom and I ever had- even though when we moved from Mississauga to Orillia almost 21 years ago she referred to us as the “shitheads”.

She was upset that we were moving away from her life with us just down the street at                    21 The Chase.

 

Once day after the move, we called telephoned her daughter Jaki’s house near the shore of Lake Ontario. Her young granddaughter answered the phone. When I said who it was, she laid the phone down to ran to tell her Grandmother. I heard the young voice say-

“the phone is for you Omi. It’s the “shitheads”.

Apparently she had overheard P referring to us by that term and she used it. Quite freely.

Good Gosh did we laugh at that one!

I’ll never forget it.

 

Sienny was a confident. We could tell her anything- and we did.

She was mothering- although we never considered her that. However, on our wedding day she

was a surrogate Mother to both of us. There’s the sweetest picture of P looking up into Tom’s face while cradling it in her hands. Those perfect nails of hers.

The perfect makeup and the gold- everywhere.

 

 

 

Mrs. P was

Sincere.

Loving.

Close to us.

She loved her Bloody Caesars and salty snacks.

She was fun.

Adventurous.

Smart.

Intelligent.

Modern.

Brash.

A clothes horse. She’d change a hundred times a day when she stayed with Tom and I at Pine Tree House. It was just who she was. Her appearance was important and it showed.

 

Sienny was lively day or night- unless she dozed off in the chair and then she snored contentedly.

 

She was Fearless- even in the face of Cancer.

She was so very loving. Her heart burst with love.

She kissed our cheek every time she saw us.

She talked of Holland, the war and her years in South Beach in Fort Myers and of course her husband Dick. She’s seeing him again now after so many years.

 

Our “Petunia”- another of our pet names for her- was all these things and more.

 

 

 

Like Tom and I, Sienny was not a believer in God and all that hocus pocus.

There’ll be no funeral.

We often talked about what lurks “afterwards” many times over the years.

A few times over the past year especially.

If there was even the slightest chance of an Imperial Deity- which there isn’t, would a God wouldn’t make his/her people suffer.

Of course not!

Where the hell does “love” come into that fucked up idea of a superior being that made both Heaven and Earth and demanded subservience?

 

She hated being unwell. It just didn’t fit her life.

 

Now, our Darling Sienny knows the truth.

 

I am sure she is asking all the right questions as she adjusts to the next plain of existence.

“Vhy” (think “why” with a Dutch accent) right up there at the top of her list.

She would also say “listen…” and you’d know she was about to ask a very important question and you had to answer it.

If you didn’t it was followed by another “Vhy?”

 

 

 

So Darling “P” you have moved on without us and we can’t wait to see you once again- and we will. You can be sure of that.

 

We can hear her voice now…

 

 

 

ROBBLOG #502

Another Day on Bleeker Street

 

Blanche: So how was your afternoon at the Mall Jane Dear?

 

Jane: ~puff, drag, puff~ Jezuz H Christo it was busy- but I got it.

 

Blanche: Got what Jane Dear?

 

Jane: The milk. We needed milk didn’t we Blanche?

 

Blanche: I know Jane, but didn’t you buy something nice for yourself?

 

Jane: Oh Sure! ~puff, puff~

 

Blanche: Good, ‘cause I know you’ve been a little down lately.

 

Jane: I took your advice Sister Dear and bought some new shoes.

 

Blanche: That’s nice!

 

Jane: Well the shoes may be but I had to set that freeking salesclerk right!

 

Blanche: Oh?

 

Jane: He had the nerve to tell me I had “Fat Feet”!! The Fuckin’ nerve!

 

Blanche: Fat Feet Dear? He told you, you had Fat Feet?

 

Jane: Yah, he said when I did up the straps on the shoes my feet looked fat.

 

Blanche: Well Jane Dear why didn’t you just buy a size larger?

 

Jane: …and let him get away with telling me my feet looked fat?

 

Blanche: Well...

 

Jane: ~puff, puff, puff~ No Way! I hoofed him right in the sausage!

 

Blanche: Oh Jane!

 

Jane: Sure did! ~drag, puff~…and guess what Blanche?

 

Blanche: I shudder to ask.

 

Jane: I got an apology from the manager and a 50% discount on the shoes!

 

Blanche: But Jane Dear-aren’t the shoes still too small?

 

Jane: Yah. ~puff, puff~ But it’s the point of the whole thing ain’t it?

 

Blanche…I guess.

 

Jane: I gotta go put this milk in the fridge Blanche. ~puff, puff~

 

 

 

 

ROBBLOG #501

55 supping on Tuesday.

94 for dinner Wednesday night.

88 is last number I heard, for Thursday and the weekend is filling up.

 

As Sadie Flynn’s “Orson” would say- “A person can’t complain about that- can they?”

 

Yes, Norm Foster’s ‘Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak” is turning into a hit for the Garage Door Players and the Gravenhurst Opera House. We’ve had some large houses and I hear- “now don’t take this for Gospel Dear”- as Rachael tells Orson, they are some of the largest single house numbers for the entire summer season at the OP.

 

Good for us.

 

This year marks 10 years for the Garage Door Players and with Sadie Flynn running in both Orillia (at the Stubley Auditorium) back in May/June and now in Gravenhurst at the Opera House, it sure has been memorable.

Who knows where “the bus” will drop Sadie next?

 

 

 

Some folks who saw the Orillia show are even coming to Gravenhurst to see it again!

How nice!

Not to compare but just to enjoy Norm Foster’s humour once again.

We are delighted!

 

If you read this before Saturday August 31, there are still tickets available for all shows.

Don’t expect front row seats or maybe even the first 10 or 11 rows in the centre section but that still leaves lots to choose from on the sides.

 

The cast is doing an amazing job.

Our set is different from the Orillia Sadie Show and we’ve changed lighting and added some very funny and very special effects. That’s what a show can do in a “real” theatre.

 

Come for dinner in the Trillium Court- downstairs, before the show- if you can get a dinner reservation. David Friesen from “Riverwalk” in Bracebridge is the chef and he is doing an amazing catering job. Diners have been asking for his business card.

How nice!

 

So, if you can, come join in the fun of this terrific Norm Foster Comedy- Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak.

 

Online it’s www.gravenhurstoperahouse.com

 

See you in Big Oak at “Millie’s Cabin!”

ROBBLOG #500

Hello Readers!

Hey this is Blog #500,

Boy, that’s a lot of words and thoughts and here are more…

 

An exciting week with Sadie- to be sure!

 

The Garage Door Players- who I am happy to say are celebrating 10 years of entertaining audiences this year, play Norm Foster’s “Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak” at the Gravenhurst Opera House.

 

We’re taking Sadie on the road.

North.

Not too far. Just 20 minutes or so.

We are the final show in a Summer Season at the Gravenhurst Opera House. The season included Dragonfly Theatre Company’s “Blithe Spirit” as well as Dave Campbell and Tim Webb’s productions of “Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks” and “The 39 Steps”.

 

Know what many people are asking us?

Why are you taking a local company and heading’ north?

Simple.

The Orillia Opera House only hires Equity Actors- for summer theatre.

 

That doesn’t mean the actors in other summer shows are any better at their craft than the actors in Sadie Flynn- a non-equity production, it simply means they are members of a union- Actor’s Equity. That seems to be a stipulation to be a part of summer theatre at many venues- except at the Gravenhurst Opera House. Well, at least for this current season.

 

Funny, a week ago Tom and I headed to see a show at a theatre not-too-far from Orillia. A summer show and yes, it was Equity. Now, I am not “Equity” expert- neither is Tom, however, we both thought the show sucked. Yes, there were some good actors. Very good actors, it’s just that there were many not-so-good actors and together the show failed- in my humble opinion.

 

So, it doesn’t always follow that an “Equity” show gives you a great show. Same can be said about any show from any company. Yes, I consider my actors professional (non-equity). They are paid for what they do and yes, they can also perform poorly.

If I allow them too.

 

 

 

As a director one has to be sure of the cast that is assembled. This Sadie Flynn has not been immune from problems. The initial three actors playing the female parts in the Orillia “Sadie” back in May/June could not continue to Gravenhurst. So I re-cast the parts.

Then I had to look for a new “props” person. Then a few scant weeks ago I replaced the lead character.

I had my reasons.

 

This rehearsal period was short for the Gravenhurst Show.

Seven rehearsals and an “Italian” red-thru up to tech day (that’s when we move into the venue and set up props and lighting) followed by a dress rehearsal and then the run.

Fast eh?

 

I am confident in the case of this Gravenhurst Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak that my actors will NOT perform poorly. These actors are all top-notch and have been in theatre for many, many years.

 

So, this comedy from Norm Foster runs until Saturday August 31.

Come and laugh with us.

It’ll take your mind off your problems.

Tickets and information at www.gravenhurstoperahouse.com

Come just for the show or have dinner in the Trillium Court downstairs (provided by David Friesen of Riverwalk in Bracebridge) and then casually stroll upstairs to your reserved seats.

How nice is that?

 

Hope to see you there

ROBBLOG #499

Dame Clare has taken pencil to paper once again and sends along this charming piece for all my readers to enjoy.
R*

Well My Dears, that nice Mr. Reid is once again allowing me to bring you up-to-date with all the gossip and happenings around the Palais Royale.

Your Damness couldn’t be more pleased!

It’s been a busy summer here on the outskirts of town. Some travel, some gay parties, new friends, old friends and the excitement of things to come.

 

That Darling Roger- my Head Poolboy, along with his hubbie Xavier, keep things hopping. There’s always a party when a “fay” is around. That’s why I love them both to biddy-bits. For instance, next week, there’s a “Pink Pool Party”. My Dears the boys are working on turning the pool into a huge pink ocean. Lots of friends have been invited- along with their chequebooks and cash. They hope to raise some much needed money all in the cause of Breast Cancer. My Dear friend Hedda Lettuce has had that scare and believe me it trips you up and you fall flatly on your boney ass. In Hedda’s case the news is positive and she’s been Cancer free for several years.

What luck!

The Guys also plan a shindig around prostate cancer too. Heaven only knows what exciting things they have planned for that extravaganza! As I said, I worship the Speedos my boys wear and let me tell you in the summertime at the Palais- that’s pretty much the entire wardrobe.

Oh My Dears it makes me all tingly when I think of it.

I am so blessed- and Roger and Xavier are too! (Tee Hee)

I mean that.

I really do.

 Oh!

Hedda, along with her best friend and personal Secretariat- Sofonda Cox, along with yours truly plan to make our annual pilgrimage around the province. Yes, the old RV will be topped up, spiffed up and stocked up for our yearly tour. We hope to spend an afternoon with that sprightly, denim-shorts clad of a farmboy Randy too. We discovered Randy and his talents on a trip we took a few summers ago. We keep in touch and Rand- as I affectionately call him usually makes it down to the Palais once or twice a year as well- when he’s not fawning over a cow or a piglet!

 

 

 

Rand always whips up a big corn roast and Bar-B-Que and invites some locals along. We laugh and eat and laugh some more until our sides ache. Randy usually gets up and does a hoochee-koochee dance around the fire- to wild applause, wearing nothing more than an oak leaf and the birthday suit he was born into. Albeit, after a few beers and much encouragement from some of the other swarthy farm lads who eventually join in the frivolities.

My, to see the colour of the flames dance off his tawny, tanned buttocks brings tears to this gal’s eyes.

I mean that my Dears.

I really do! 

It takes a day and a half to get Sofonda settled down. She’s not so used to seeing “lug-nuts” such as Randy’s openly displayed by the light of the fire- or the Silv’ry Moon. Why she giggles the night away in the RV and Hedda and I get little rest. Never mind Dears, it is all part of the fun of a road trip- isn’t it now? 

As a matter of fact Daisy my downstairs maid- I don’t know what I’d do without the sweet young thing, has just come into the West Parlour to tell me Hedda and Sofonda are waiting for me out near the pool. This afternoon we’re planning the route for this year’s RV excursion.

What fun!

I mean that My Dears!

I really, really do. 

Enjoy your days and… 

Tah for now!