ROBBLOG # 367

Here comes another "Dis and Dat". Don't say I didn't warn you!

Read on MacDuff!

1. Some news reports referred to David Furnish as Elton John’s Man. So, it appears that any man’s mate- even if it’s another man and especially if it’s a woman, is slighted simply by not using the “mate’s” name.

2. Who the hell told Lana Del Ray she could sing. It was very uncomfortable watching her on Saturday Night Live last week. I cringed. I almost cried it hurt that much.

3. Many times throughout the day Starlite Radio is beating Swisssh Radio with total number of listeners tuned. Go figure.

No breaks. No commercials. No personality- just the music- “Soft & Brite”.

Go figure.

4. There were reports of  “icequakes” along Lake Couchiching’s shoreline last weekend when it was minus 29 degrees. All that ice and cold and nowhere to go but “crack” and “quake”.

5. A man caught in a blizzard burned his money to stay warm until his rescue. Hell, I can burn money too and I don’t even have to leave the house when a blizzard’s howling outside. It’s called “online” shopping.

6. Wanna go on a cruise? Anyone? Any takers?

Come on now there are lots of boats safely floating in the world’s waters every day. Of course if one you’re cruising on slips on its side there may not be enough available lifeboats.

People may panic.

There could be fights over life preservers.

Stuff like that but again- anybody wanna take a cruise? 

7. Less than two weeks and January is History. Who can’t deal with the Month of February?

It’s so puny and small.

Easy-peezy! 

8. Mild, then freezing. Then, mild. A bit of snow.  A flash freeze then back to plus 6 again. What the fuck is this? Global Warming or El Nina. It sure has made January a bit of a coaster ride and really not seem like January at all. 

9. I have made a new year’s resolution that I haven’t told a soul about. It’s not something I have had to do anything about- yet, however, the time will come soon. 

10. I picked up a package of bologna- yes bologna, the other day. There’s nothing like a few slices of bologna on a couple of slices of fresh Tuscan Bread. Anyway, I looked on the package and saw that it was almost 48 percent fat!

Then, I picked up a package of sliced chicken breast. No Fat. No Trans Fat.

So I bought the chicken. Then, I looked for a package of Havarti Cheese. There was 40 some percent fat in just 1 ½ thin slices. I bought it but I only had a ¼ of a slice on two crackers that had less than 4% fat.

Shit!

It’s hard to eat healthy!

ROBBLOG #366

How the heck does it work? 

I was thinking the other day about all this wireless stuff we use.

How does it work?

I don’t know. 

How does the WiFi here in the house travel through walls to reach another room. How does it go through the outer walls of the house to the verandah or the yard?

I don’t know. 

Then there are those huge towers that are all over the place. They send out wireless signals to our cell phones. These signals find us everywhere.

Around corners.

In our vans and cars and trucks.

Walking down the street or driving along a country lane. 

Then there’s the 3G and 4G.

Lock yourself in your bathroom.

It finds you.

Pick the furthest corner of your yard.

It’s right there.

Sitting by the lake and watching a summer sunset-

Yup, there too. 

How does it do it? 

I honestly don’t know but what I think is, if it goes through walls it must slice through us too. My phone rings when it’s tucked away in the breast of my winter coat or in a zippered pocket in my “murse” (that’s manbag for the uninitiated). 

It’s like magic when you think of it.

We take it for granted but those signals are around us and near us and through us every minute of every day. 

What about our health?

Do these waves of energy affect our well-being?

We’ve all heard the dangers that some experts believe exist when cell phones are pressed tightly to our ears. Then, there are the stories of folks who live close to those huge power lines that traverse farmer’s fields.

A higher incidence of headaches, cancers and such. 

It’ll take a few years to study the effects over a long periods of time. After all smoking and the resulting second-hand smoke was never thought to be a problem in the earlier decades of the last century. Our houses were plugged full of asbestos without a second thought. There are numerous other examples. 

In the meantime, we all go merrily along texting, calling, streaming and reading on a vast array of personal electronic devices. 

Does it mean we’ll all see health problems in the future? 

Haven’t a clue.

ROBBLOG # 365 W E E K E N D Edition

We’re on our own little ice flow that’s melting and heading for the end of time.

At least that’s what time it is on the Doomsday Clock. In fact it’s just a few minutes to midnight and the end of us all. What a nice, positive way to begin two thousand and twelve! 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Well, just what can we expect the way things are going? 

There’s that little in-bred, bastard son of the dead North Korean leader, who can’t wait to push the button to show the world how much of a man he really is, simply by sending some nuclear missiles to other parts of the world that piss him and the rest of the North Koreans off- like America. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Why are the North Koreans pissed at America?

Maybe because there’s a McDonalds and Target on every corner in the good old USA. Maybe that’s what the North Koreans really want-

a Big Mac and a nice outfit. 

As they aim their weapons let’s hope they can tell the difference between Canadians and Americans.

Hey North Korea!

It’s us!

Canada.

We’re the country with Tim Horton’s and a Petro Canada Gas Station on every corner. I know we look a bit like America but we really aren’t. We are as different as night and day. Sure we have Wal*Marts.

Yes we have Old Navy Stores, American Idol on TV and we share a common border but that’s about it. 

Listen, North Korea, to be quite honest, there are times we’d like to send a big missile to America too. Sometimes they are just so loud and they won’t shut up and they only care about all things American. They don’t give a damn about the rest of us. They give us the hairy eyeball when we try to cross their borders to shop and lay in their sun in the dead of winter. 

Now, it’s not just politics affecting the Doomsday Timex.

It’s all that pollution that’s out there that’s killing us and melting the snow and ice so the poor polar bears are running out of habitat. 

Pollution that comes from the exhaust of  cars and trucks. Smoke from our factories. Effluent in our lakes and streams and as everyone knows that baddest of them all- plastic shopping bags. 

Plastic shopping bags the worst of the worst. That’s why we have to pay 5 cents for each one of the dastardly things. Why can’t we think of something else to put our stuff in when shopping at Winners and Zehrs? 

Hey…what about brown paper bags?

Has anyone ever thought about using plain old brown paper bags? 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

It’s not too late.

We better get to work today and slow down that clock or we’ll all be going to Hell in a handbasket!

A handbasket that is made of recycled and recyclable materials of course!

ROBBLOG #364

I am reading a book.

Nothing strange in that fact.

I am always reading but I haven’t picked up a book since early December. The holidays just seem to get in the way. I did read some short stories in a U.K. Reader’s Digest- does that count?

So, I am back to reading.

The one aspect of reading this book that is a wee bit different is the fact that I am reading online. I have the book downloaded in a pdf file on my Samsung Galaxy Tab. The book is by Christopher Hitchens and its title is:

God is Not Great- How Religion Poisons Everything.t’s free.
Just do a Google Search.

You can look it up online. Actually if you are dyed- in-the wool (or Christ’s Blood) Christian it would be a good read. You might be able to stand back from your “Faith” and “Devotion” and say- “Hey, there is something else. The universe is so vast. There are planets, black holes and stars. These are wonderful, awe-inspiring  things”.

It sure beats Moses and his burning bush.

In fact you might question why modern people are still worshiping individuals clad in cotton or wool shifts and sandals and a time when the world was thought to be a small pace- flat even. That is so yesterday. So in the past. That’s where History usually stays- in the past!

One may surmise that the Bible is the true word of God. The difficulty here of course, is that the Bible was written by mortal man- nothing Godly about it. If your faith has you believe that God put the words into man’s head- notice there are very few women receiving the direct line from God, so man could write them down then, you’re stuck with that explanation. However, your Bible Study has cast a spell upon you. Only reason can save you- not God.

As the sign says- There’s probably no God so relax and enjoy life. What the word “probably” means to you is your own personal decision. You have to learn about that and come to your own decision.

Christopher Hitchens who passed away a month ago makes some valid points. You would only argue them if you have “Religious Faith” in a God or Supreme Being- like Diana Ross! I am not going to clip any of his words here. You need to go into the book with a clear, open mind.

Goodness. I already hear some of you saying “Blasphemy”!

A God-like term to be sure.

I am also reading Gretta Vosper- With or Without God. Now Gretta is a “Progressive Christian”. She’s of the United faith. Gretta skips past the God and Jesus part to a wider understanding of faith and future. At Christmas Time, Gretta and her Congregation marvel at the story of the Nativity but there is no mention of God or Jesus from the pulpit telling sinners to do this or that. Gretta’s United Church is in Scarborough. You can Google her and peruse her Church’s website.

I would image in the United Hierarchy, they would prefer she disappear but she’s still there spreading Joy and Happiness.

How can that be wrong?

That can’t be.

She is creating a community that just desires Peace without the finger of God pointing the way or tsk tsking.

That brings me back to Mr. Hitchens. He says Religion “poisons”. I say it separates too. If it doesn’t, then why isn’t there just one church?

One Faith.

One God.

That’s simple to answer.

They just can’t get along.

All you have to do is look back at the Church of the Nativity a couple of weeks ago when the “faiths” were beating each other about the head with broomsticks!

I mean really?

Really?

Then, there are the good, old Catholics. Their Dogma tells them that they are the only “real” Church anyway. The rest of you can just kindly piss off and go with your own God- or the Devil, because we know God only listens to Catholic Prayers. Then yesterday, there’s the Pope telling his flock once again how awful it is to be Homosexual and raise a family. It’s the old Adam and Eve complex not Adam and Steve.

Such Hogwash- especially with the Catholic Church’s history. Why his priests have been “corn-holing” altar boys for centuries as many as they can get their ~ahem~ “hands on”!

Now if he announced the church was melting down their gold and selling a few paintings to build a condom factory, that would really be something worthwhile.

Those Catholics are the only true church you know. That’s why the Apostle’s Creed pledges allegiance to the Roman Catholic Church. I don’t know if any churches repeat the Apostle’s Creed these days but as a kid I had to learn it and repeat it by heart both in Sunday School and at Church. No one- as far as I can remember, explained why we said the words “Holy Catholic Church”. No one really explained why we had to learn the creed.

Grab both books online free, read them and give your head a shake. How refreshing to wake up each day knowing you- and not God, are in charge of your future and your destiny.

Praise be to me and you and the Universe!

ROBBLOG #363

Today, the story of a man who saw things.

Once upon a time there was a somewhat spiritual man- Peter, who loved to stand in his kitchen and wash pots and pans over and over again. One cold, January winter’s night, as he was washing a particular pot for the umpteenth time, a bright light came flooding through his kitchen window.

“Gee, they finally must have fixed that streetlight!”- he exclaimed!

Then suddenly, in the rays of yellow and white light, a sandal-wearing man- about 30ish, with long brown hair and a moustache appeared in what the man now came to believe was a "vision of some description".

“Wow! You're Jesus Christ!”- the spiritualistic man gasped.

But he was wrong. The apparition coaxed him to guess again.

“Then it’s you! Michael Jackson. Gosh, your skin really is white! I like your nose but what’s the story with the moustache and all that mascara. What were you thinking?

The Man in the vision placed his hands on his hips and shook his head to the left and right. Apparently the floating bits of particle and light was not Michael Jackson either.

No, for it was another man of significantly higher power- yet not one number one hit record to his credit. The man made a peculiar sign with his hands and fingers and proceeded to show the pot washing Peter a pair of blue undershorts.  For some inexplicable reason, the man-in-the-kitchen washing pots and pans seemed to be able to read the man-in-the-vision’s mind- who was neither Michael Jackson nor Jesus Christ.

“Underwear? You want me to do something with your underwear?”

The floating conveyer of blue shorts shook his head again.

“You want me to buy somebody some underwear?”

The apparition smiled and held up two fingers on his right hand and with his left he made a series of three concentric circles. Meanwhile in the background a picture of a village deep within the jungles of the Amazon appeared where Peter could see youngsters running about- sans underwear.

“You want me to get 2000 pairs of underwear and send them to children in the Amazon?”- He cried.

The vision gave him a thumb’s up and slowly dissolved into the darkness of the window.

Without hesitation Peter the pot man cried aloud-

“This will make me famous. I will soar above the heads of my brothers. This vision talked to me and showed me the way. Holy Fatima!”- he was so happy there were tears in his eyes. "Maybe the vision was Jack Layton"- he cried aloud!

So, he gathered others who were of like mind and they produced 2000 pairs of the finest undergarments they could sew right in the man-in-the-vision's kitchen. They all agreed that they were helping poor Jungle children to see the light or at least be more cleanly- like the rest of the western world.

 “Maybe we can even give tuck a little pamphlet in with the underwear that details the message we are sending to these unfortunate examples of children running lost and without direction through the hot, sticky rainforest”- he clasped his hands together and offered praise to the man-in-the-vision-  through the sparkling glass of his kitchen window, who was neither the Christ nor Michael Jackson.

“We’ll make them believe that underwear is good. We’ll show them the way. Before long they’ll hold the same beliefs and sanitary ideas that we do. We’ll make them believe and instruct them to only listen and follow our commands or the desires of the man-in-the-vision and not be allowed to seek their own way and ideas. Oh, it will make the man-in-the-vision so happy.”- he continued to shout aloud to everyone, “ Our place in the yet-to-come will be undoubtedly reserved!”

The others neatly concurred. They smiled broadly, smirked most heartily and kept on sewing at the kitchen table that belonged to the man-who-saw-the-visionn.

Meanwhile, the man-in-the-vision stood invisible outside the window and could only shake his head. The pots and pans man had missed the point entirely for the man-in-the-vision was a designer of men's fashion underwear and needed 2000 pairs of underwear for a spring showing during Fashion week. He heard that the pots and pans man was a mover and shaker and had heard if anyone could make 2000 pairs of underwear in time for the spring show- he could.

The man-in-the-vision couldn't explain fully the light that appeared behind him as he peered through the pots and pans' man's kitchen window that first evening.

ROBBLOG #362 W E E K E N D Edition

Most days I can’t even remember my own name.

However, while watching Rogers On Demand, I see a commercial for Disney World. These Disney characters flash by the screen and I turn to Tom and say-

“That’s Buzz Lightyear!”

I don’t even know Buzz Lightyear but I know him to see him by golly. I couldn’t even tell you the name of the movie he was in for Disney. It was animated of course.

Then, shortly after I re-newed my aquaintance with Buzz, I received an e-mail from someone I worked with more than 10 years ago. I remember the name but can’t remember the face. Never worked alongside Buzz or ever met him in person for that matter, yet I know him to see him. Then there’s someone I worked with- in real life, yet I have no recollection of the face.

I would like to blame it on my age.

It couldn’t be that.

I really think the problem is within the “files” in my brain. After a certain amount of time has passed, these files get automatically “filed” in the “add or remove programmes” section of my brain. They sit there just in case they are needed but they just aren’t as vivid or as fast to recall  as they once were. That’s why I can’t remember most things that have happened- say 27 and a half hours ago!

Haven’t we all been to a party where we are introduced to some new, interesting people?

The scenario-

The party host wants to introduce me to a friend I had not been familiar with prior to the party.

I wait for the introduction.

I shake hands and make a point to remember their name.

We chat for 30 seconds and then suddenly wham bam…the name goes!

There is a fleeting memory but that’s about it.

Let me see-

James?

Evan?

Neil?

Kevin?

Bryan?

Damned if I know!

It’s at times like this I should have a whack of “Hello My Name Is…” cards in my pocket.

I would write the name on a card with my handy Sharpie as soon as the introduction is made.

Then, I would peel back the protective coating and slap the sticky back onto Bryan or Neil or Evan’s chest.

How easy would that be?

All I would have to do is glance down at Neil’s chest and instantly recall his name.

No embarrassment.

However, I am sure I would be remembered as the guy who stuck a “Hello My Name Is” Sticker on their chest.

That wouldn’t be so bad.

Sad- just not so bad.

At least I wouldn’t be referred to as the "old geezer", who couldn’t remember a fella’s name 5 minutes after he heard it.

Maybe I should just go for it.

Hey, I’ll even bet those stickers are a buck or two at Dollarama.

I had better check it out tomorrow.

Now, if I can just remember.

ROBBLOG #361

...and they said- "Why Rob, Why?" 

I said- "Because..."

They said- "What have you done now?  Did you piss someone off with something you said?"

No.

Nothing like that.

Although, I did break my 2011 resolution to keep my mouth shut but some things just needed to be said.

I only broke my resolution once.

Maybe twice.

I have accepted the consequences and moved on. I don't let the "muck and mire" get me down any more. My life is getting shorter and I prefer to move along. If someone doesn't move along with me- that's fine.

Stay bogged down in the "muck" if you can't pull yourself out! 

I have also realized that I need to enlighten myself. You see, up until a very short while ago, I believed that everybody thinks the same way that I do.

Now, I know that is not true.

That's not the topic for this blog. That's for another time and place. 

So, what did I do now?

You may remember I began Swisssh Holiday Radio in late October. It was successful playing all Holiday/Christmas Music - all the time.  In fact the server was full most times of the day. That was a good thing. Now that the Holidays have been put to rest for another year, I have also put Swisssh Holiday Radio to bed but not without another pursuit I have been thinking about. That's where the "what have you done now" part comes in. 

I have started yet another Internet Radio Station.

I know. I know.

What have you done Rob Reid!!?

What have you done?

Haven't you got enough on your plate?

Apparently not. 

Starlite...Soft and Brite, went on-air Saturday December 31st.

Why Starlite? 

Starlite...Soft and Brite!

Coming back from Toronto I saw a name up on a building that said "Starlight".

I said to Tom, who was driving- "That's a great name for a Radio Station- Starlight."

A double meaning. Music of the "Stars"- yet on the light side.

Then there's the gentleness of Starlight.

It just fit.

I changed the spelling of "light" to "lite"- as most stations do, placing "star" in front, hence- Starlite. I added  "Soft and Brite" as a sell line and spelled "bright"- brite! 

I know I have still not answered the "why" part, so here goes.

Back in the late 70's I worked for CHAY FM. CHAY was a station for Huronia. A name that back in the day the powers that be, pinned on this area. They didn't have much success. There are still businesses today with Huronia in the name but that's about it.There was Huronia Tourism but that's defunct now too. Now, they try to sell Orillia and area as Lake Country but I believe that's a struggle too! 

When I was at CHAY FM 93.1, we played 3 instruments to every vocal selection- except in morning and afternoon drive where it was vocal, instrumental, vocal instrumental etc. The station at the time was number 19 of all FM Stations across Canada. It was the only FM station in this area- the next being in Toronto- or Peterborough. The world of Radio was still ruled by AM stations- but not for long.

That's the "why".

I am programming Starlite with more instrumentals than vocals. Sometimes you'll hear two vocals back to back. Now the important part. How do you listen to Starlite? 

1. You can go to the Swisssh Website at www.swisssh.ca and click on the Starlite Player. You'll have to mute the Swisssh Radio Player which automatically begins playing when the webpage loads. Just click on the blue arrow in the player to stop Swisssh Radio or mute the sound.

2. You can go to www.audiorealm.com and place "Starlite" in the search bar and listen there. You can also listen through Shoutcast on an Internet Radio featuring Shoutcast Stations. The Genre is-  "Easy Listening" or search Starlite. 

3. Soon, Starlite will be on iTunes, tunein.com and reciva.com. Hopefully within the next week. By the way I believe that www.tunein.com is one of the best ways to listen to Swisssh Radio- or Starlite. Apps are available for Smartphones or tablets. Check out the apps on your device. These enable you to listen anywhere there's 3G, 4G or wireless. Internet Radio is now truly portable!!

If you're in a mellow mood or just want a station to provide some good music- with no commercials or breaks, try Starlite...Soft and Brite. 

What about Swisssh Radio?

Swisssh Radio is staying right where it is. It will always be my main focus but give Starlite a listen. 

You might just like it.

I hope you do.