ROBBLOG #561

Ugh! Spring cleaning in the fall.

I wrote a note on a piece of paper the other day.
It said- "Clean Closet".
I placed the note scrawled in black Sharpie ink on the keyboard of the office computer so all could read it- especially my husband.
Sunday was earmarked as the day to get to the job at hand done.

I have been nagging for a couple of years now- maybe longer, trying to light a fire under my hubby Tom's ass. The closet in question is right at our front door. There was so much "stuff" crammed in there one couldn't offer a guest space to hang a coat. Papers were pied high with winter coats stuffed into one corner. Woven rag rugs, pillows, photo albums and a collection of LP's on the shelf above the coat rack. Standing in the middle of the closet was a four drawer metal filing cabinet- more than 30 years old, filled to the brim with old papers, photo envelopes  and outdated computer programmes. In fact, next to the filing cabinet there was a blue plastic container on the floor with even more computer programmes and discs including a photo editor, family history maker as well as various plugs and wires that we had no idea what they belonged to. We probably didn't have  any of the devices anymore but we had the plugs made them work!

So, with coffee in hand, we set to work.

After 4 hours of work, the result was a half dozen bags stuffed with papers for recycle. Another stack of papers to be shredded. A huge bag filled with the aforementioned rugs and coats- not all of them, set to go to Goodwill. We moved the filing cabinet into the garage where we filed important papers (Tom's words) and recent tax forms dating back to 2009.

Last week I saw heavy cardboard storage boxes at the dollar store, so I ran over and picked up two. After a half hour of trying to understand the sketches on the side of the box- instructions as to how to make the box, I placed them on the shelf. They fit nicely and will hold small photo albums and such.

Summer footwear like flip-flops, sandals and running shoes are sitting neatly on the floor right now but I plan to store them in a plastic container to keep the floor area neat and tidy.

Overall, a job well done. One could actually hang a coat in the closet without any fuss and now I won't be embarrassed when I open the closet in front of a friend- although that seldom happened.

Next up in my "spring into fall" cleaning programme, I plan to go through the Christmas decorations and take trinkets I no longer use or want to Goodwill. We also have some old electronics to drop off at the recycle container up at Foodland- including our microwave that went "flop bott" reently and then I'll tackle shelves in the garage- as long as the temperature is above freezing.

This purging of stuff  is good for the soul but there are lessons to be learned.
If you're not using something get rid of it. Pass it on.
Quit hording papers.
A door does not hide a closet monster. He still lurks inside, in the dark.

So, start small.
Tackle a junk drawer first then move on to a closet.
After that, you'll be well trained to give the basement or garage a good purge.

Have a good one and reward yourself with a martini or at the very least a self pat on the back when you're done!

ROBBLOG #560

Hold on to your tiaras. She’s back. Here's Dame Clare Voyant.

Dame Clare Voyant

 

Well, My Dears, this time of year reminds me of door knockers. Ghosts, Goblins and Harper and Fordesque lookalikes scurrying about in the dark. Now Dears, you may not see all the Harper cronies sneaking around in the dark just yet but really they are only in the first stages of filling our minds with thoughts of our 150^th Birthday as a nation. My Goodness, those TV adverts with Old Sir John front and centre really tug at the heartstrings- don’t they? 

2015. That’s when they’ll be knocking on our doors and ringing our chimes for real, trying to put poor little Justin in the passenger seat while they strive to drive our country forward. Well, perhaps not forward but more in a neutral gear.

I must say that My Dears.

I really must. 

Demons and zombies may be merrily ring our bells, yet in the days that follow- the latter days, the Jumpin’ Jehosaphats and Moremens will be back trick and treating us once again. Perhaps the Moremens are more pleasurable to talk too and certainly in the case of those latter boys- even though their little minds are filled to the brim with muck and mire, nicer to gaze upon. 

My Dears, I should hold mind-cleansing seminars here at the Palais Royale-just on the outskits of town. Oh, but it wouldn’t be the first time your Royal Dame has saved a soul from the clutches and claws of the demon right. A few years back two such young men came to the Palace doorstep. I was completely taken aback by their Darling little faces- barely shave-worthy, not to mention each was attired in those tight little, coal-black trousers. At first I was hoping the pair of them were selling aluminum siding, however, much to my dismay they each pulled out the Good Book of Moremon from their shoulder manbags and asked if I knew Jesus. 

“How ancient do you think I am Dears?”-I asked, “I’ve seen pictures- reasonable facsimilies at least and heard the stories but no, he hasn’t supped with me at the oak dropleaf in the South Drawing Room”.

I continued…

“For one thing Dears, I absolutely throw up when I see cheap bleached cotton and open-toed sandals- whether sockified or daringly bare. That however, is a story for another day.” 

I continued still.

“No, I have not had the opportunity to know Jesus”- I reconfirmed with the blonde and dark-haired Moremen straddling my front threshold.” 

I must say that my Dears.

I really must. 

I did what any Dame would do. I invited them in out of the cold for hot chocolate and cookies in the kitchen. One juicy topic led to another and before your Royal Dameness knew it, each of the Moremen were blubbering out loud- sobbing actually, as they told me various life stories. One even recalled a recurring dream he had of late concerning Hugh Jackman in a black Speedo or wetsuit or something to that effect. I know he kept mumbling the word “wet” through salty tears.  

Your Dame had triumphed once again. I clutched each young man to my breast and patted their firm backs. I said all would be fine. See My Dears, I should hold seminars here at the Palais and help even more youngsters who are needy, in want and wholesome.  

I must say that My Dears.

I really must. 

Oh Dear, it’s quarter to tea-time and here I sit clickety-clacking away in my lounge pants and the tea bell could jingle at any mo’.

Tah for now My Dears. 

ROBBLOG #559

This was the week that was!

I am sure I am being tested.
No, not like a driver's test or spelling test or anything like that, I mean tested by a higher authority.
No!
I don't mean by Jesus but the universe.
I hear you born-agains saying- "It's the devil that dun got dat boy by the short and curlies!"
Nope.
It does bring back memories of the 80's though- being grabbed by the short and curlies I mean, however, that's another story.

No, it all started a week ago. I put my back out. I'd like to tell you I was doing some "manly" thing like lifting weights or chopping firewood or something of that nature but all I was doing was pulling a couple of yellowing Hosta leaves and throwing them in a yard bag.
I just couldn't get up. I couldn't stand at first.
I did manage to get to my feet and crawled up the front verandah steps to the wicker lounge.
I was hoping things would right themselves but they didn't and I was at the chiropractor a couple of hours later.

Today, I just completed  treatment number five- and there's more to come.
At least I can walk upright now- like an ape!
Anybody got a banana?

"I didn't do it. Honest! I was shampooing my beard. Couldn't have been me!"

Then, a few days ago, I had to go back to the eye Doctor. It's a follow up appointment to one I had six weeks ago. There was the possibility that my retina was detaching. I was seeing flashes of light from my left eye as well as having to look through what seemed to be a cloud- at least through part of my left eye. Now, I am told that the retina is still in place.
That's the good news.
Still, I need to be careful and look for the signs of trouble and in the meantime- meaning the rest of my life, that "cloud" will be there. My brain will eventually tell my eye that it's not "really there" and life goes on.
I love being over 60!

Lastly, our Schnauzer- Missy, had to have a lump removed from her lower jaw this week. It came off "clean" according to our vet- Dr. Choles- but we are waiting for the report that tells us it's all clear- or malignant.

So like I said, this was the week that was...
I'd mention that we're having our verandah repaired, there's an estimate is being done for a new furnace and we've accepted an estimate to have corrosive bits fixed on our van in December but that would just get too depressing!

Over and out!

ROBBLOG# 558

“Awww, I could have told you back in May it was going to be a cool, wet summer. There’s no such thing as Global warming!”

“Oh?”- I reply as I sip my café latte.

“Yup. It’s all those things they got going around up there in space. That’s what’s causing all this freekish weather” 

I was having a coffee break on a bleak autumnal afternoon when the gentleman at the next table offered his thoughts on the weather. He continued talking as I continued sipping.

“They’re just foolin’ around with too much up there that they don’t know a thing about!” He points up. 

I reply-“I heard weather experts say the Polar Vortex and El Nino will be affecting our weather through March. We might get a bunch or snow again or maybe a milder winter. Nobody seems to know exactly.” 

He continues as if not hearing a word I just said, “No, we are back to regular summers and cold, snow-filled winters alright, just the way he intended it to be.”

“He?”- I asked.

“The big fellah. You know- God.”

“Oh…”

I sipped again, then, offered an observation-

“Well I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. However, it was nice that summer arrived for a couple of weeks in Late September/early October.”

“I suppose”- he says, “Have a good one!”

Up he gets and starts to walk away.

“I will. Thanks.” 

 

 

Everyone always talks about the weather here in Orillia. Questions abound.

Hot enough for ya?

Cold enough for ya?

Wet enough for ya?

Sunny enough for ya?

Snowy enough for you….

And on and on. 

These days the talk is all about Polar this and that and El Nino or Nena. We seem to be at their mercy. Now, if you’re a Farmer’s Almanac sort of person you’ll already know that their agricultural prognosticators say some areas will see snow- later this month and into November of course. Poor old Manitoba has seen the white stuff already. Calgary too.

I remember one August it snowed in Calgary. Not too unusual for Alberta- more unusual for us in Central Ontario. Weather is strange- isn’t it?

Take Newfoundland for instance. Most years they see summer on or about July 28^th. It leaves on the 29^th!

I have always thought that living year round in Hawaii would be a good thing. Yes, they have the occasional hurricane but they don’t happen that often. There’s too much Pacific Ocean and they just blow out to sea. Other than that, the weather is pretty much nice every day. 

So, here in Orillia, enjoy a nice sunny day when it comes along. We’ll be bitchin’ about shovelling snow before you know it. I saw an ad for a pre-lit Christmas Tree the other day with 1000 mini lights. Right next to it an ad for Christmas Cards. 

Ho Ho Ho!

 

ROBBLOG #557

Mid- October and Thanksgiving is here.

 

Where did summer go? I hear you- what summer?

It seems we have gone from having the fireplace on to…having the fireplace on.

Wasn't it Canada Day last week?

 

Walking around the neighbourhood I see pumpkins on doorsteps and autumnal Mum plants in containers next to front doors. There are corn stalks and bales of straw on verandahs and porches. Fallen leaves are everywhere, waiting to be raked or sucked up by a lawn vacuum. Just think, in a couple of months there’s a good probability that snow will return!

Yeah!

The poor folks in Calgary and northern Manitoba have already seen that white stuff.

There have been slippery roads, snow-covered trees and assholes on snowmobiles with only a few inches of snow on lawns and fields.

 

Some days, I hear the Canadian Geese flapping their wings overhead. When it's a quiet you can hear the "swoosh" of their wings as they honk and pass by overhead.

 

Flower gardens are being put to bed. I hate that task. My back hates it too!

Lawn ornaments and garden gnomes are put back on shelves in garages and garden sheds, to doze away the cool days and cold nights that lie ahead.

Ponds are drained.

Eave troughs on our homes- clogged with colourful leaves, need to be cleaned out.

There's wood to pile alongside the garage for colder days and nights ahead.

 

 

 

The best part of Thanksgiving  is the aroma of turkey and ham, pumpkin pie and roasting apples wafting from the kitchen. We take the easy way out. Tom and I have our Thanksgiving dinner at the Casino. Lots of food and no cleanup afterwards.

Does it get any better?

Those who want to tag along with us are more than welcome. If not, we go it alone.

 

In our home, a fireplace once again becomes the centrepiece. We sit next to it in a favourite wing chair, reading a book or thumbing through a magazine or maybe just to take a much-needed snooze. I love to take a long walk near the lake or through a nearby conservation area on a crisp sunny day. It’s fun to make a brisk morning visit to the farmer's market for a special Jack-O-Lantern that will be carved with care and placed in a front window or on a verandah railing.

 

Of course our friends, family members and neighours wish us the best of the season and we are all "thankful" for small pleasures found in this troubled world of ours today. There's thoughts of loved ones who are no longer sharing our table but always share and hold a special place in our heart.

 

Here's to a great Holiday. A Happy, Joyous Thanksgiving.

Peace. Love. Being together. Good times. Smiles and hearty Laughter.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

ROBBLOG #556

Each summer-like day we have is a gift because we all know what lies on the other side.

Winter.

Months of Winter featuring snow, cold temperatures, leaf-less trees, sleet, hail and ice. Everyone is talking about the weather. Some say it's staying nice through October. Others are bemoaning the Ides of November and making us beware of the Polar Vortex. Still others point to El Nino. Good or bad, I don't know.

Checking the berries on our Mountain Ash a while ago, I discovered that there were very few clumps of orange berries and the birds are munching on them already. Last fall, there were tons of berries and as we all know, winter was harsh and snow was deep. I gathered the berries in a basket and took them into the house to lay along the fireplace mantel as Harvest décor. This year that won't be happening.
The berries are gone already. If this tree is a barometer, we're in for a milder season. Over the years it has forecast the weather correctly.

Haven't some of the evenings in this late summer been grand?

I was riding my bike in early evening around Barnfield Point a couple of evenings ago. Barnfield is a peninsula of land that juts out into Lake Couchiching here in the City of Orillia in Central Ontario. As I rounded the point, Starilte radio was playing a Hawaiian song- Aloha Oe. The brilliant orange sun was slipping below the trees across the water. The sky was filled with colour. It was amazing and beautiful. It reminded me of sitting on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu watching the sun melt into the warm waters of the Pacific Ocean. Watching the sun set behind the trees across the bay wasn't quite the same but it was beautiful all the same. Hawaiian sunsets are not as colourful as the ones we have here in Central Ontario. Ours are brilliant and full of colour. Hawaiian sunsets are more 70's flavoured- lots of fuschia and muted tones but just being in Hawaii of course, makes up for a more washed-out display.

I stopped for a couple of minutes to watch. Trees in the foreground were silhouetted against the deepness of the colours in the darkening sky. Some folks were sitting on tables and still others were watching from the paved trail. The sun soon slipped away as The World is Waiting for the Sunrise began to play on Starlite Radio.

The musical accompaniment couldn't have been planned any better- and it wasn't.

It just happened that way.

ROBBLOG #555

In much the same way that Rob Ford detached himself from the Toronto Mayoralty race or the way Quebec wants to detach itself from the rest of Canada or even the example Scotland set to the world as half of the Scots tried to detach themselves from England...my retina has decided to attempt to detach itself from my pupil.

Just another of the wonderful things that can happen to one as one gets older.

 

%$#$#

 

The medical name is Posterior Vitreous Detachment.

Google it.

 

It started with some flashes of light in my peripheral vision to the left.

My left eye felt fuzzy.

Blurred vision.

My eye drops for dry eyes were not helping. It was like I was looking through a cloud.

There was no pain but it was irritating- and inconvenient, looking through this gauze-like whatever it was.

 

So, on Tuesday I had to go to the eye doctor.

My retina in my left eye is detaching.

The jelly-like substance is peeling off the back of the retina.

 

For 6 weeks I have to take it easy.

Rest. No stress. No lifting. No bending over and then getting up quickly.

Less computer time.

It all irritates the condition.

All kinds of neat stuff really.

 

I see what appears like a cloud or cobweb on my left eye.

It’s annoying and worrisome.

Age related I am told.

Happens to 75% of us over 65.

I am not quite there yet but Dr. Hung says it's just one of the features of getting older.

How I love being 63!!

 

The eye guy is hoping it will re-attach. If it completely detaches and I see a black curtain over my eye or more light flashes, I have to get medical help asap. Right now I am waiting until Oct 21st when I have my

next appointment and when I hope he will tell me things are OK.

The worst scenario?

 

The retina detaches and surgery becomes the next step.

 

I hear Tom yelling- GET OFF THAT COMPUTER!

Better run.

 

Take care of your eyes, eh?