More Bible Fun
Now,
here’s a little tale of Noah before he tried shipbuilding for a living.
First
we are told that Noah is a pretty reputable guy.
Genesis
6:9
“These
are the records of the generations of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless
in his time. Noah walked with God.”
But
then we find that Noah also like to show his penis- to his kids!
Genesis
9: 21-23
“…and
he drank wine and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent…
And
Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two
brethren without…and Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both
their shoulders and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father…and
they saw not their father’s nakedness…”
I
wonder how many tries it took- without looking, for Shem and Japeth to fling a
blanket
up and
over their heads and “tent” their Father’s naked extremity? How did they know
they covered it completely if they walked into the tent backwards and left
forwards.
Did
they go to our own tents and do what their father had done. The Bible doesn’t
say.
Now,
here’s a rather sordid story of Lot and his two daughters. From Genesis 19: 30
to 36 Imagine this story being told to a
Sunday School Class.
So, Lot
and his two daughters lived in a cave after their Mother took one too many
glances over her shoulder at the Gays and Lesbians, Harlots, Ejaculators and
Sex Fiends being destroyed- by God, in Sodom. It
seemed that God loved to smite his chosen people since he did it quite often
with fire, floods or storms. Anyway, I
digress…
One day Lot’s oldest daughter said-“Hey,
Dad’s old and since we live in this cave with no cable or no men to have sex
with and give us children, here’s an idea. Let’s get Dad drunk on wine and
sleep with him and have a kid.”
“Whaaat?”
–said the younger daughter.
“C’mom.
It’ll be fun!”- said the oldest.
So, the
older daughter slept with her drunken Dad and apparently Lot wasn’t aware of it
even though he had a good time.
The
next day as Lot was holding an ice-pack on his balls under a nearby Banyan
tree, the girls were sitting around the cave fire chatting. The older girl said
to the younger daughter-
“I
know. Let’s get Pop drunk again and you can sleep with him this time.”
“Really?”
said the younger Lot Daughter, “Wouldn’t that be wrong on so many levels?”
“Oh.
Come on. Grow a pair!”- said the older daughter whom we know had already slept
with Dad the night before.
So the
gals got Dad drunk again. They told some bawdy jokes. The younger daughter
slept with him and Lot was none the wiser.
Nine
months later both daughters had sons and Lot was still none the wiser. Look.
Let’s examine this closely. There
was no other man around the cave and yet his daughters got pregnant and Lot
couldn’t figure that out?
Lot was
a stupid man- a man who had sex- with his daughter, while he was drunk but
still a bit stupid. He must have been a good fuck since elder daughter
suggested younger daughter climb on board his erect shaft and give it a try-
all in the name of procreating for the human race.
Ya,
gotta love God’s thinking, eh?
The
moral.
Keep
your penis tightly sipped in your pants
even when you’re drunk.
Thus
ended the lesson.
Plenty
more next time, including God having sex with Mary- immaculately, to have Jesus
who ultimately slept with his own Mother to conceive himself. Also,
if there was Adam and Eve- not Adam and Steve which seems more logical since
man was made in the Lord’s image, plus their two sons. How did they have kids
to continue the human race unless they had sex with….
Wait
for it…
