Tuesday, September 27, 2011



I haven’t written a DIS & DAT for a long while. So hold onto your hats. Here goes:

1. Did you see those kids in China repeatedly throwing that puppy into the ocean?
The puppy would swim back to shore and they would throw it into the water again. Finally, passerby’s rescued the poor dog. Last I heard the rescuers were boiling a big vat of oil of the beach. Big enough say to fit three or four kids comfortably…

2. This week more caffeine in cola products and the news that coffee chases away depression. Yeah!

3. Last week,  I watched one of the worst movies I had ever seen- anywhere. It was a comedic send up of Hugh Jack man’s "Van Helsing" called "Stan Helsing". It wasn’t the least bit funny-although it tried to be humorous. I threw it in the garbage as soon as the end credits started to roll. I paid 5 bucks for it at Wal*Mart. I guess I should have taken it back. I was totally dis-satisfied with the product. Too late now. It’s in the garbage covered with bags of dog poo and cat poo. Hmmm. I guess that’s my final review!

4. The only reason that the new Downtown Library would be a place to frequent- besides books, was the coffee shop. Now City Council- protecting the shop owners in the library’s environs, decided to nix the idea. Boo to you. Yeah to caffeine! Please refer to DIS and DAT number 2.

5. How can one send a “note” that says Homosexuals- that’s Gays and Lesbians to Conservatives, shouldn’t have rights but should sit quietly in the closet and only speak when spoken to. Then, one turns around and invites a Homosexual or two to dinner with “Christian Love and Charity” in one’s heart!
One can’t.

6. “Let’s Rock Elmo” is the toy adults should look for this coming Holiday Season. I have no idea what kids want!

7. Ottawa is forcing cigarette companies to display a picture of a young lady- who looks like one of the Vampires on True Blood, on all cigarette packages by March 2012. The picture must take up 75% of the front of the package. Better yet, force all those that smoke outside in public to do so with plastic bags securely fastened around their heads.
Just like those bags you buy to cook the Thanksgiving Turkey. Now that’s a smoker’s dream First and second hand smoke in one easy step.

8. A guy has made a jam that tastes like real bacon. Zehr’s (Loblaws) will have their own version come November. Apparently, you can spread it on anything!

9. Now you can see and read the Dead Sea Scrolls online. The Book of Isaiah is there for everyone to see. Of course it wasn’t written in English way back 2000 years ago. Looking at the pages online, it just goes to show you that this particular book was hand-written in a language other than English and hand-scribed by mortal man- not an immortal deity because as we all know- God only speaks English.

10. A few days back a sports fan threw a banana skin on the ice in front of one of the few black NHL players in the entire league. Next, it’ll be a pink boa thrown on the ice.
One day this week, a Toronto sports radio show just couldn’t say the word “Faggot enough. Faggot this and faggot that and DIS faggot and DAT faggot. They really, really wanted to say “Nigger” too but we all know that’s not proper "sports” language and it could hurt someone’s feelings.
Gotta love those sports fans, eh?
Well, I mean- dontcha?