"At the end of the day aren't we all whores looking for that pole to take our last ride on"
- Karen Walker
Today, I'd thought I would start with a quote from one of my favourite people. It's a funny quote to be sure but it has a serious side too.
The last ride.
I was watching a programme the other evening where a lot of twenty-somethings where creating what looked like an amazing stage show. When interviewed, several of the cast said that this was the big moment in their lives. It set the stage for what they needed and wanted to accomplish in their life on this crazy planet.
I thought about these younger folk who were still bright-eyed and busy-tailed. The world- they felt, was at their feet. The future was whatever they made it.
It was in their grasp.
They were in control.
This was their future and they were going for it all and holding on tight. They were going to enjoy the ride. The dance of their life.
I started thinking about my life and wondered if I had grabbed on tight and did all that I could have done or wanted to do.
These younger people were so excited about what lay before them. They could at this point in their young lives do whatever they wanted...or so they believed.
I sat there, my little inside voice asking me- have you grabbed life where it counts and are you ready to take that last ride on the pole of life? Whoring does not just have a sexual connotation here. Whoring is latching on. Going over the top. Taking what you want. Fighting for it. Lusting after it.
I began to wonder if I had taken my last steps towards that "pole".
Career-wise, I am through. I'm not working for a living now. I am not sure if I ever worked hard enough at my living. I could have done more if I had of had the drive. Most of the time, I just got by.
Now, I'm living each day my way. Doing this and that.
Of course moving about as far west as one can move in this glorious country of ours in no small feat.
It's been one hell of a way to wind-down.
I can hardly wait to be sitting in my favourite chair in my new house with my husband next to me saying- "look Hunnie. We made it. We followed our dream once again. We made it ours and saw it through.
I think you have to do that.
Follow a dream. Do something big like those kids in that show.
I know it's easy to say and it would be even easier with oodles of cash on hand to reach that dream but I guess you have to look at the whole picture and if you can and if you want to- you can make the change and afford the dream.
It might take some work.
Some regret but also a new vision for the future and let's face it, the future is all that there is ahead of us.
I have looked ahead at this last part of my future. The inescapable winding down of life. The last three decades- if I'm lucky, is right there ahead of me. I can't change that but I can and did change where I'm going to spend it.
I asked my husband the other evening- "If I were to pass away, you know, travel to that next phase in existence, would you stay here on the island without me?
He said- "Yes. It's my home now."
I think we've both found that pole.