Wednesday, March 16, 2016

ROBBLOG #596

 
 
I am having doubts.
 
"What about, Dear Rob..."- I hear you ask?
 
The list isn't that long and heck, I don't even have a list really but I thought I'd talk to you about it-since you are all my closest and dearest friends...
 
It's this Theatre thingy.
Summer theatre and specifically- my Double R Production's Orillia Summer Theatre.
It's such a hard slog.
 
Every day I am trying to convince someone or some company to support this non-profit venture and that is not easy.
 
It's the part about producing a theatre season without grants and backers that I detest the most. Some theatre companies have the backing of the towns and cities where they are located. City/town councils may set aside 40 or 50 thousand dollars to help a theatre company produce a lineup of summer shows.
 
 
 
I wonder what that would be like? Just knowing that you have 40 thousand dollars with which to play? No scrounging for dollars from businesses that can hardly afford to support you- but do. No endless explaining why you are producing theatrical shows, why you need funding and how it all works. There are the endless explanations that the company is non profit and I don't revel in thousands and thousands of dollars of profit at the end of the season.
 
Last season I took $200 dollars for my own pocket. That's for 8 months of work. Pretty poor return until I tell you that venues alone cost us $10,000. Cast and crew were paid thousands. Rights were paid to playwrights. Sets were built. Lights rented. $3000 dollars was donated to local charities and on and on. I knew from the start there wouldn't be much left but we provided work for actors and brought in more than 20 groups and buses to our downtown theatre. Those patrons shopped and lunched downtown and visited local sites of interest.
Can you hear me Orillia?
 
Now, this season I am working with a terrific, determined committee of five who are trying to interest groups and buses to come to our shows. They are selling advertising and sponsorships and taking a bunch of stuff off my desk- except for the worry and the restless sleep some nights.
 
To be honest, the season could still fizzle.
On the plus side, our Kickstarter campaign will make it's goal bringing us a thousand bucks to pay for brochures etc. Some season sponsors and show sponsors are in place but not as many as last season- so our funding will be less. After the initial monies are in place, we still need ticket sales- "bums in
seats". Until our groups and bus tours start to come in- if they even do, we are on a precipice.
We are teetering on the edge of season success and ultimate fizzlement. 
Yes, I know. "Fizzlement" is not a real word but you get my drift.
 
It's a good thing we are only presenting two shows this year, albeit at two venues. We may pull this season off and come out in the black. The next two months will tell the tale. If tickets are selling we can do it. If we don't have ticket sales and see buses and groups, we'll just not be able to continue.
 
Our shows are "All for Nun...The 2nd Coming"- a musical comedy which I have written...well, almost written. I have even penned 3 new songs that I hope will be included in the show.
The second show is Norm Foster's "Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak".
 
Go to our Facebook page:
for details. You'll find our Kickstarter project listed there too. Any amount to help us along would be appreciated. If you are a business and care to help us with a sponsorship, send us an e-mail to
 
Our box office will soon have the ability to accept Visa and MasterCard and when it does, we invite you to call and order your tickets- for both shows. Order 2 tickets before June 30th and get them for
$45. That's a 9 dollar savings.
Donate $80 bucks to our Kickstarter project and get 4 comp tickets as a reward and save $28
 
For now, I still have doubts but I also have some kind of faith that "the show will go on".
It must go on.
We do it for the Orillia Community as well as ourselves.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, March 3, 2016

ROBBLOG #595


March. 
Lovely, beautiful March with warm winds, greening grass and chirping birds...
No, I do not know what all the f***** snow and wind was about March 1st but I have made it a distant memory and so should you.

The long-range spring forecast from the Weather Network says above normal temps and below normal precipitation.
I'll take that.

On to other business.

In my last epistle I promised a few words about what I have been up to of  late.
Well, now I am ready to spill.
Along with my darling Husband Tom, our company Double R Productions has decided to do another season of summer theatre at the OCC in Downtown Orillia.
No, I have not gone all stupid.
Maybe more along the lines of crazy, since it seems when I tell friends of my summer intentions their response is:
"Are You crazy?"
Yes, perhaps.

It all started with a call from the Beaverton Town Hall Players who asked us to perform six "All for Nun" Shows at the Beaverton Town Hall Theatre- a historic 1910 theatre, right in downtown Beaverton.
Once we saw this marvelous old theatre, I thought the natural thing to do would be to extend those shows and perform in Orillia as well. Then, upon further thought I said to myself- "why not put a small season together by adding a second show?". 

We confirmed space at the OCC- where last year's shows were performed.
The result is- 
Two Venues and Two Shows although to us it will seem like three shows.
I've also morphed last years successful "All for Nun" into this year's "All for Nun...The 2nd Coming"
So far I have put almost 20 hours into the re-write- and I am not finished. Some aspects of last year's show will remain but there's a lot of new stuff too.
The bus tours and groups will return to have more "NunFun" and we hope single "bums" will plop themselves down into seats as well.



Our second summer offering is a very funny Norm Foster comedy that we performed three years ago as part of the Summer Season of Shows at the Gravenhurst Opera House- "Sadie Flynn Comes to Big Oak". That show was very successful. We had performed it earlier in the year in Orillia at the Stubley Auditorium. That show was performed in the round. Quite an experience for actors and audience alike. We still have the set pieces, so, I thought what the heck, let's do it one more time.



Many of the actors from last year will return for these shows but there could be some new faces as well.
Stay tuned.

Our show prices are cheaper than last year at $27 an individual ticket. That's good news- what with our dollar and the price of celery and meat these days! As a matter of fact that's a cheaper ticket price than our summer friends at the Orillia Opera House offer. There's even a special price in our brochure (hint, hint) that will save you more.Groups this year begin at 10+ and pay only $25 per ticket with a handling charge of $10. While single ticket holders do not have reserved seating, our groups and tour buses do.

Along with Mariposa Market- who are a hop, skip and a Nun's Habit from our Theatre door, we offer a $45 lunch and show package that can't be beat! Other specials and tour opportunities are available by getting in touch with us.

Our executive at Orillia Summer Theatre/Double R Productions includes Tom Ruechel as Stage Manager, Jim Dwyer as "Anywhere we place him Manager", Claire Acott is Group Sales and Tour Manager and Laurie Herd Promotions Manager. Scott Reid- my brother, is set design and build. First time we have a need for 2 sets at two different venues at the same time.

More details of our season are at www.Facebook.com/DoubleRProductionsOrillia. 
Phone numbers for Groups and our Box Office (705.242.4092) details are posted there.

Oh yes, we are attempting to raise a paltry $1100 dollars on Kickstarter. Any port in a storm to raise some dollars. We have sponsorship opportunities available as well.

I'd also like to mention that we try to be an active part of the community in which we live. Last year Double R Productions supported three local non profit organizations by donating more than $3000 dollars in total. Our shows brought in a couple of dozen bus tours and groups who not only shopped in Downtown Orillia but took advantage of local activities such as a Heritage Tour- provided by us, Museum Tours and pre-show Dinners.

I must say, we work hard at our season and we don't have a major benefactor giving us thousands to perform our shows. We start with "Zero" dollars and build from there.
Yes...it is nail-biting time.
Some nights I wake up screaming wondering if it will all come together.

If you'd like to help us with our season there are three ways to do so.
Pledge using your credit card on Kickstarter.
Be a show or season sponsor by spending $300 to $600
or
Just donate "X" number of dollars to our Non Profit company.
Buying tickets is always good too!

Call our box office or e-mail orilliatheatre@gmail.com and we'll gladly take your pennies and cheques or answer any questions you may have.

Now I have told you everything.
Not quite EVERYTHING but it is all I have right now.

See You at the Theatre!














Saturday, February 20, 2016

ROBBLOG#594

 
I'm not sure I have many readers left at this point.
It's been mid-January since I last blogged. Times flies when you're hating winter.
 
Good Lord, we've had some cold days in the past month- not much snow but cold.
Last weekend the daytime readings were beyond pleasant at -40C wind chill in the daytime. Now, today, here we are several degrees on the plus side and rain.
 
This has been a mild winter.
Green Christmas. No real snow until last month and now March is around the corner. I kind of hope our weather goes from winter-like one day to spring-like the next.
 
This being my 65th year on this planet, I find that I detest winter even more- in any way, shape or form. I was glad for the balmy December Days. I had a Boston Fern on the verandah on Christmas Eve for pete's sake. Winter keeps me in the house. I hate the cold and the snowy days when it's a trial to walk the puppies or walk to the garage. Slush, muck and sidewalk sand gets everywhere.
 
What really put a damper on this winter is a virus I have caught. I didn't have a sniffle the past two seasons and a week ago I got hit with a virus that won't let go. My Doctor sent me home with a shopping list- Vitamin C, Halls, liquids, Orange Juice and more Vitamin C. This virus has sat in my throat for a week and is just not letting go. Sore throat and absolutely no voice for a few days. My vocal chords need rest and I have been obeying orders and even staying off the phone. Now, in the past two days my eyes are weeping and I wake up in the morning with white crusty stuff all over my eyelashes. My eyes are as red as a Valentine Heart.
How charming.
 
I sip at a huge glass of OJ as I type. Maybe, just maybe by Monday- or Tuesday, I will have beat this unwanted virus.
 
So, I am trying to cheer up even though I feel lousy and rejoice that March comes hither and another January and February will become just a distant memory soon.
 
I will write again when I am my old self.
 
I'd love to bring you up to date on my summer plans!
 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

ROBBLOG#593

Dear Reader,
 
I blame what you are about to read on a normal childhood. If I had of had a super normal childhood, you would probably be reading a nice little story about a beaver who built his house in a nice little pond and had many other nice beavers over for afternoon tea. Alas, this is not to be...
 

Princess Redcinderwhite lived in a picturesque little shanty town in the shadow of Toenail Mountain. People said she was a pretty young thing with flowing blonde hair, fair skin and buck teeth. Ed- as the townsfolk called her, had a huge pair of buhzonkas that stretched her white, cotton, tee shirt to its limit. 
 
Most days Princess Ed would take a stroll to sit beneath her favourite tree at the base of Toenail Mountain. Most of those days as she passed by the local Tim Hortons- which the local Prince and his Cronies frequented, she would hear him call out to her-
“Hey Redcinderwhite...what fine, big boobies you have there. I’d like to get me a mouthful of both of them!” 
Most days Ed would let the Prince’s comment go in one ear and out the other but on one particularly sunny day, she happened to be walking along the street with the local Priest-
Father Loveme Demalter Bois.
Father Demalter Bois was a Brazilian Priest who kept his figure lean and mean beneath his cassock by walking up and down Toenail Mountain. The exercise had paid off. Father Demalter Bois looked good!
No really.
He looked really good.
You know. Gay good! 
 
 
As Ed and the Father strolled by Tim Horton’s, the Prince and his flunkies began to call out to her- as was usually the case, saying stuff like-
“Hey Ed, what fine, big, beautiful, jiggly boobies you have. How about a gander at them!”
Or-
“Gee I’d like to bury something big and stiff between ‘em!”  
Ed was embarrassed at these crude comments, seeing that Father Demalter Bois was walking along beside her. She stopped in her tracks and walked towards the Prince leaving Father Love Demalter Bois standing alone on the sidewalk right in front of the Tim’s. She strode right up to the Prince and kicked him squarely in the nuts.The Prince dropped to the ground and rolled in what seemed to be tear-producing, uncomfortable pain.
“Fuck!”- he yelled!!
 “Whaddah ya hafta go and do that for you crazy piece of big booby turd?” 
Ed looked back at a rather embarrassed yet lean and mean Father Bois for just a second, then turned and cracked the Prince a good one in his nutsack once more. Good think she was wearing her pointy Princess Shoes. It was sure to extract more pain to the Princes ballsack than any pair of open toed sandals would have. 
“Oh Gawd. That hurts!” cried the Prince in certain agony as he rolled back and forth on the ground outside Tim’s. “That really, really hurts you know Ed. Fuck You!” 
“Well Fuck You too Prince! From now on maybe you’ll think twice before you make a comment about my beautiful, big boobies!” 
The Prince- still rolling on the ground in terrific nutpain, managed to look up at the Princess Redcinderwhite and said-
“Too fucking right!” 
Ed smiled a warm, comely, buck-toothed smile and turning back to Father Loveme Demalter Bois, grabbed his arm and continued the stroll towards Toenail Mountain their original destination. 
The End.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

ROBBLOG #592

 
I never make resolutions. They're so 60's.
 
I do try to tweak myself a bit as I move throughout a new year but by the time a new year turns into an old year, I would hazard a guess that I am right back where I started from a year ago.
What do I hope for in the future? 
I hope for peace in this world.
Who doesn't?
 
I would hope to win a few million dollars.
Who doesn't.
 
One thing that is certain- this new year and the state of our world offers no guarantees.
Next time I am in Paris, it will be hard not to keep looking behind me and at the faces that pass by me as I walk along the Champs d' Elysee.
 
I would like to keep my health right where it is thank you very much. I would like to continue Bike Riding, Walking, Eating, and enjoying life as I do now- even though it appears I will be turning 65 this July and no, I don't know how that happened!!
One day I am 56 and wham, the next I am in my 65th year.
 
I have been technically retired for a few years and poorer for it. Thank goodness my husband is still working and brings home the doe ray mei to keep us flush with funds- for now.
 
For now?
Well, I am hoping he will retire- maybe this year. Then we can plan our futures through to our last breath on earth.
Fuck that sounds depressing but it's coming sooner rather than later. By that I mean I don't believe I'll be living for another 65 years unless scientists develop a new pill that lets us live as long as Moses and Methuselah.
 
 
Methuselah's wife's name was "Edna".
I am surprized he lived that long. He had a couple of kids and four grandchildren. Seems like he lived a regular life.
Didn't both he and Moses live to be 900, 1000 years old?
Mind you, they didn't have the annual milk calendar pinned to the office wall in their humble houses.
Maybe their years were only 2 months along. That would certainly account for their  reported longevity.
It couldn't have been their health care system. It was non-existent.
 
So here I am along for the ride just like the rest of you. I'm living through the year hoping for the best that life can bring and trying to remember that the last Thursday of the month is Senior's Day at Global Pet Foods and the week before at Rexall.
 
Some of us win at the game of LIFE.
Some of us lose.
 
We all try hard.
 

Friday, December 25, 2015

RobBlog #591

 
Twelve Holiday Wishes
 
 
 
On the first day of the Holidays my one true wish would be:
a lotto win for little old me
 
On the second day of the Holidays my another wish would be 2 million dollars-
from the lotto win for little old me.
 
On the third day of the Holidays another wish would be:
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the fourth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the fifth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the sixth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
 
 
On the seventh say of the Holidays another wish would be:
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the eighth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
A homestead in the country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the ninth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Nine Botox treatments,
Peace for every country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the tenth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
No bigots in the world,
Nine Botox treatments,
Peace for every country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the Eleventh day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Feeding all the hungry,
No bigots in the world,
Nine Botox treatments,
Peace for every country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
 
On the Twelfth day of the Holidays my final wish would be:
For all my wishes to come true.
 
 

Saturday, December 5, 2015

ROBBLOG #590

 
Here it is folks. A new conversation with God. I picked up the phone and called God to say hello in advance of the busy Holiday Season.
 
Me: ~ring~
 
Himself: Hello...
 
Me: Hello God. It's Rob!
 
Himself: Well, Well, Well...My stars! And they are MY stars Rob. A little Godly humour there. Good to hear from you. How are things and did you enjoy your trip across the pond to London?
 
Me: Things are great with me and how did you know I was in London?
 
Himself: Oh it's that Omnipresent thing Robbie.
 
Me: Right, you know all and see all. I keep forgetting.
 
Himself: Well it keeps me busy keeping an eye on your folks on my earth.
 
Me: I can imagine. First of all, I guess the big question on everyone's lips God- is why don't you do something about those ISIS folks. I mean they are creating havoc with their killing of innocent people. I mean they throw Gay men off buildings. Stone them to death if they survive to say nothing of the loss of life in Paris a few weeks ago...
 
Himself: Well, Rob. I get asked that a lot and there's no simple answer.
 
Me: What about 40 days ands nights of rain? That worked last time.
 
Himself: Did it? Did it really Rob? A lot of innocents lost their lives. It was a big price to pay to start over. Besides I want to come up with something original. I will say I am trying to push the powers that be in the right direction. I have to be careful though.
 
Me: Why? You're the Father Almighty?
 
Himself: Well, yes with some folks on earth and Klindon 5 but not everyone subscribes to me and my ways.
 
Me: Klindon 5?
 
Himself: Oh yes. I am very, very popular on Klindon 5. Oh for pete's sake, you're probably not familiar with that planet- are you Rob?
 
Me: No. Not at all.
 
Himself: Earth people haven't found it yet but you will. It's right under your noses.
When you do it'll give you another option for a winter getaway besides my favourite place on earth- Hawaii.
 
Me: I love Hawaii too.
 
Himself: I know you do Rob ~smile~. It's a lot like Heaven you know.
 
Me: Really? That's good to know.
 
Himself: Oh yes. Warm and green like most of Heaven. Now listen about those ISIS folks. The time will come when they are put in their place. It won't be easy and it won't be without some of you coming up to me earlier than you should but it will come to pass.
 
Me: Well, that's good to know- I guess.
 
Himself: Trust me Rob. I do look out for you all even though sometimes it may seem I am not around or don't care. As a matter of fact I have my Son working on a couple of things now. The problem is he'd rather be at the beach playing volleyball than doing my work. Kids, eh?
 
Me: Yah. Kids. So listen are you getting excited about the Christmas Season?
 
Himself: Oh yes indeedy do. I love Chistmas! Always have...well for at least the last couple of thousand years or so. Before that December was just another month but being a bit of a Drama Queen...
 
Me: Drama Queen? I am surprized to hear you say that?
 
Himself: You shouldn't be ~laughs~. I am one of the original Queens here in heaven. I mean really Rob, I wear a shift 365 days a year and I wear it well I must say and I love Drama so when I wanted to have a kid I had to do it in a big, big way.
 
Me: Well I must tell you God that the Christmas Story with the Manger and stuff is pretty terrific.
 
Himself: Thanks!
 
Me: Can't say the same for Easter though. I mean that's a barbaric story. I don't believe that was a good choice- if you don't mind me saying so.
 
Himself: No, not at all. It's not for everyone's taste. If I could, I'd redo it but too late for that now. The books out there.
 
 
 
Me: So do you decorate and shop for Christmas in Heaven?
 
Himself: Oh Jesus Rob! Yes. Jesus is still just a kid at Christmas. His Mother Mary- The Queen of Heaven and his Dad- Joseph, still make a big deal out of the Holiday Season. Oh, by the way. Speaking of Dad, I was talking to yours the other day...
 
Me: My Dad?
 
Himself: Yes. Sometimes we go fishing together on Lake Cloud. He's a great fisherman.
 
Me: Yes, he always was...
 
Himself: He sends his love by the way..Rob. Rob? Are you still there.
 
~pause~
 
Me: ~sigh~ Umm. Yes. Yes of course. I am still here...
 
Himself: Never gets easier- does it? Loss of a loved one I mean.
 
Me: No. It never does.
 
Himself: Wish I could come up with something besides death. It is on my list of things to do. Anyway, we are all ramped up for Christmas. Hey Rob, I have a solo this year at the Christmas Eve service at St. Me's Church.
 
Me: St. Me's?
 
Himself: Well it's the best I could come up with. I get to sing O Holy Night. It's a personal Favourite.
 
Me: I'll bet.
 
Himself: Well look Rob, I have to go decorate a tree over at Mary and Joseph's. It's kind of a yearly family thing. I put on the lights and Jeez adds the balls. Mary does the garland and Joseph makes the drinks. Hah Hah!
 
Me: Sounds like fun!
 
Himself: It is! Have a great Christmas Rob and we'll talk again soon. Merry Christmas.
 
Me: Same to you God. Bye for now and Happy Holidays!