Thursday, March 3, 2011

ROBBLOG # 229

My God- the Pope has made a statement- again.

He has told the whole world that Jews are not responsible for the eath of Christ. Oh well, that makes everything all right then- doesn’t it?

Yup, the Pope who is about to release his next book on Christ after a riveting first volume on Jesus as a kid, has said- “sorry, if we’ve been a bit of a pain these past centuries but hey, we are only human- well most of you anyway- and we are really, really deeply ashamed if we’ve caused you- those of the Jewish Faith, any harm or ill-will. We’ll even beat our genuflecting asses raw with a wet noodle if that will make you feel any better.

Well, okay.
Fine.
That makes it just hunkey-dorey doesn’t it?
That ought to put an end to anti-semetism once and for all.
Thank you Pope!
Thank you very much.

Good Gosh, its taken God and his Heavenly son ,Jesus, a long time to sift through the evidence on their huge desk in their huge Heavenly office- on level three of course, to come to this realization. I would presume having all those handsome, half-naked, muscular men-angels working for them is just a bit of a temptation. It probably slows the work down just a tad what with lunches and parties and such.
Well, you’ve seen mad men…
Although with Christ actually being there in person when this persecution happened down here on earth, one would think that this whole fuck-up could have been straightened up much earlier.

The Pope havin' a "nosh" with one of the faithful
 I know things must get pretty hectic in Heaven what with deciding who should die and who should live. Who should win 50 million dollars and who shouldn’t. What country deserves divine light showered upon its people and what country should be treated like so much dirt beneath God’s feet.
No, I am not suggesting any country. You figure it out.

On another matter, for I have always wondered, did Jesus convert to Christianity when he flew back to Heaven or is he still a Jew?
What about his Mum?
We know Dad is “omnipresent” so that probably excludes him from being anything but God.
Wouldn’t want to piss off the Muslims, would we?

However, I wonder what those that lived here on earth before ascending to Heaven decided, once they arrived at the Pearly Gates. Of course, I am quite certain that many of them just got a green pass and didn’t have to stop at security like the rest of the world’s millions. I can see the signs at the Gates-

Jesus and the Holy Family please pass through under the sign marked “Special Priviledges”.

Christians form line here.
Jews line up here.
Those who aren’t sure form a line here.
Those wanting to return to Earth immediately line up here and have your passport ready for presentation to the Angel.
Those in wheelchairs or needing other types of assistance, please wait until an Angel Agent is available to assist you.
Finally, Atheists please take the elevator on your right and press basement level.

The Pope doesn’t say how he received this message from God that the Jews aren’t at fault. Maybe a phone call at 3 a.m. Maybe a telepathic message. Maybe he just made it up because it was a slow day at the Vatican.
Who knows?
Maybe he just wanted to sell a book or two. He might even sit down with Peter Mansbridge- One on One, just to promote the Hell out of his new book.

So, if you’re Jewish, take heart that you have been forgiven by the only true church on the face of the earth. All others pale in comparison both faith-wise and money-wise.
You see, that’s the way God likes it.

The Catholics bought the rights years ago.

Monday, February 28, 2011

ROBBLOG # 228

I don’t know how I got to thinking about “treasures” the other day.

It reminded though of a time, long ago, when I was a kid living down on Victoria Crescent- right on Lake Simcoe. One blisteringly hot summer day, I had found a treasure in the most unexpected of places.

We lived in a cottage that was not built for the purpose of being inhabited as a year-round home. Several small homes had been built along the Lake Simcoe water front where Victoria Crescent turned into a dead end. Some were nothing more than sparsely insulated summer cottages with no cozy central heating, running water or in the case of our little house- indoor facilities.

Our family home at 176 Victoria Crescent, no longer stands. It was bulldozed years ago. In its place today stands a new, large, solid brick, waterfront home. When I drive by today, all I see that reminds me of my childhood summers at the lake is the iconic waterfront and the same pair of huge trees that at one time stood on each side of our dock.

It’s funny when I think about it, over a decade most of my memories are of the summertime- with the exception of a few Christmasses and a Hallowe’en or two.

In the 1950’s, summer was just the best.
Days were filled with swimming and boating and just playing around.
Making play forts in the bush.
Riding my bike along the Crescent and Forest Avenue.
Looking for bullfrogs under the dock and along the shore.
Watching the big boats cruise their way to the narrows and under the Atherley Bridge which opened up to allow the boats to pass through. You see, when a huge boat came along going from Simcoe into Lake Couchiching- or vice versa, vehicular traffic had to be stopped in both directions along Highway Twelve.

Back then, there were a few weeks every summer when our neighbours Mae and Stan Trodd would have their grandkids visit. I always referred to the Trodds as Auntie Mae and Uncle Stan- with good reason. They always treated me so well and they were good friends to my parents. Their grandchildren- Wayne and Warren, would come to the Lake from Orillia, which seemed like a huge distance when you were a kid. Driving into Orillia in the 50’s was always known as “going into town”.

“Are you going in to town for milk?”

“I have to go in to town to see Gramma Reid today.”

“I’m going in to town to pick up a paper.”
It always seemed like a big deal.
I would never have thought to ride my bicycle in to town back in those days. It just seemed too far. My life revolved around the lake and Victoria Crescent in those times.
Today, it seems like such a short distance to ride.

Some days- when we were told that we had to stay out of the water for a couple of hours and find something else to do, we would go looking for stuff to do.
Things to do.

One particular day- when there weren’t too many city people around at their cottages- it was mid-week, we decided to explore, clad only in our bathing suits and nothing else as was the norm in the summertime. After all, we were told to “find something to do”.

It was a very warm summer afternoon as Wayne, Warren and I strolled up the dusty, dirt road along back of our houses looking for an adventure. There was no breeze this mid-July day, not even off the lake. We felt so hot as we walked up the street past the Staffords, raising a cloud of dust with our bare feet. We stopped and burned up a bit of time feeding plantain weeds to the chickens in Grandma Rutherford’s Chicken Coup. After tiring of that we continued walking up the small grassy hill past the Rutherford’s House to the Dunn Cottage- stopping only long enough to gaze into the silver witch’s ball in Grandma Rutherford’s English Garden. The roundness of the mirrored ball distorted our faces.
We laughed.

The Dunn Cottage stood just on the top of the small, grassy hill. Next door was the Scott Cottage but they appeared to be not at home. Probably they were “in town.”

The Dunn’s cottage was hunter green in colour and when they weren’t “in residence” the windows were closed and covered with shutters. That’s how we found the cottage this particularly hot summer day. Stinking hot as my parents would say!

The cottage sat on concrete blocks placed a couple of feet high at each corner of the structure with support from several piles of brick at various points underneath the frame of the floor. You see the cottage had no basement. It was totally open underneath. In fact, if you layed down on your stomach on the grass on the lake side you could see right through to the back of the cottage and the road side.

This particular day we sat on the Dunn’s front steps and looked out at the Lake. As we did, Mr. and Mrs. Burnett were paddling by in their cedar canoe.
We waved.
They waved back.
Their son Greg sat in the middle seat of the canoe. He was so brown from the summer sun we called him little black Sambo.
Not to his face of course.

He was much bigger and stronger than any of the three of us and we figured he wouldn’t like being called “‘Sambo” let alone little or black!

As the Burnett’s canoe paddled out of sight, Wayne suddenly broke the quiet stillness of the humid summer day.
“Look! What’s that laying there?” He was pointing underneath the edge of the cottage.

Warren and I looked and could instantly see the object what Wayne was pointing at.

It was something shiny sticking out from under a few dried leaves at the corner of the cottage. We all scrambled off the steps and got down on our bare stomachs and rummaged in the leaves. It was a spoon. A silver spoon and next to it was another and another. As we shuffled more leaves around we found a half dozen forks and knives as well- even a large, shiny silver platter that when held up reflected our hot, sweaty faces.

“What the heck is this stuff doing here?”- cried Warren.

“Beats me”- says Wayne.

“Gee, I wonder if there’s more neat stuff under here”- I added.

We stared at one another briefly, wide-eyed with the treasures we found, then, set to work crawling around under the cottage. In a few minutes we found teacups and saucers. Some with small chips out of them.
An eggbeater with a red wooden handle.
An old coffee tin.
A pair of pliers and a wrench.
A bicycle rim.
A picture of a bowl of fruit in a brown, wooden frame. The glass covering the picture was in near-perfect condition. Wayne liked it.
Then. I came across the piece de resistance.
An alarm clock.
It was turquoise in colour. Not a mark on it. I wound it up and it ticked away- like new.

“Hey a clock like this must be worth a whole dollar!” I was dumbfounded, “and it’s just laying here for nothing!”

“Wow!”- said Warren and Wayne in unison.

We all crawled out from under the cottage and headed home.

I couldn’t wait to show my Mum what I had found! I ran into the kitchen absolutely beside myself at the treasure I had found. However, my Mum didn’t quite feel the same way as I did. I showed her my turquoise clock. I was beaming.

“You have to take that back, Rob. The Dunn’s just probably store some things down there. You guys had no business being over there.”

“But it was under the house Mum!”- I cried. “They were probably throwing it away-weren’t they?”

“Maybe they don’t have room for everything inside the cottage, so they store some stuff underneath Rob. Now, be sure to take it back and tell Warren and Wayne to take everything back they took as well!”

“Take it back? Now?”

“Yes”- Mum said. “Now.”

Some treasure hunt!
I did as I was told and Warren and Wayne took the picture as well as the red-handled eggbeater too even though I really loved the look of that little clock.

As a matter of fact, even today I would snatch up a clock like that- if I found one.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

ROBBLOG # 272

I have a question.

If someone said to you
“Yah, I’d like to go to Florida but in Miami you have to deal with all the Hispanics”
or
“The Chinese in Toronto are terrible drivers because they have no peripheral vision”.
or
“The problem is all those Blacks along Jane Street.”

Is that Racist or should it be filed under hate?

It's at the very least a hint of someone having an unhealthy attitude to "some" others. These thoughts often just roll off the tongue as easily as saying the sky is blue. Many of us may have these thoughts but they are not always verbalized in public or put on record.

I hope it’s something that can never be attributed to me. However, I am not entirely without guilt. When I hear someone make statements about “Hispanics” or “the Chinese” I should speak up.
I don’t always do that.
Every time I read about a stabbing or shooting in Toronto, I think “black man” before I even read the story or see a picture. The fact is much of this kind of trouble and lawlessness comes from that community because of drugs or whatever.
The papers are full of it.
It’s a pre-conceived notion that the media has plugged into my head. Can I be faulted for that?

This "hood" mindset is born in a small percentage of young men and women and yes a lot of the problems centre on that Jane/Finch area in Toronto or the Asian community. That being said “whites” are just as much to blame for lawlessness and outright stupidity. I mean many “white boys” have that “yo yo yo” mentality with their pants hanging around the cracks of their lily-white asses and knit woollen caps pulled down over moist brows when the temperature hits 30 degrees!
These “white kids” stab and shoot and kill and yell obscenities too.
Maybe it’s the rap music?
I dunno.
There certainly is a pre-conceived notion that the “yo yo hip-hop, rap nation” is all about drugs and hurting one another. Maybe I have blinders on. I don’t know.

Then, there's the recent attacks on members of the Gay Community in the Church Street Gay Village that are very alarming. I have always felt totally safe walking along Church and Wellesley in Toronto but maybe with the trouble of late- the copycat “slushing” thanks to the TV show Glee, I need to re-think about wearing that security blanket. Although not “racist” in nature, these acts are certainly “homophobic” or about “hate” at the very least.
I don’t believe it’s a problem that will go away easily- whether its racial comments about Blacks and Hispanics or Homophobic barbs, this kind of attitude is here to stay. Many of us keep it deep inside but occasionally it creeps up over the teeth and tongue and sees the light of day.

Maybe we all need to do a bit better and start correcting individuals possessing this verbal mindset.
I don’t know.

I do know it is the right thing to do but I don’t know…

Friday, February 25, 2011

ROBBLOG # 226 W E E K E N D Edition


Today on ROBBLOG- Movies to miss…or watch if you haven’t anything better to do like tweezing your nose hair.

MacGruber comes to the big screen from a short sketch on Saturday Night Live to a full-blown, corny movie. Nice to know that there’s money around for this stuff. Really, not very funny at all. Cunth (that’s the name of the bad guy) and Dick jokes abound.

Why anyone would think that MacGruber (Will Forte) making loud, grunting sex noises just before he orgasms is funny- only God knows or the Director. A bright spot in the movie- besides Kristen Wiig, is that good looking guy- Ryan Phillipe. In one scene Phillipe’s character mocks an earlier scene that had MacGruber fully naked with a piece of celery stuck up his behind. It was supposed to be a distraction for the bad guys.
It was.
Unfortunately, it was a distraction for the audience as well.

Eventually, Ryan is naked from the waist down. It’s quite a shame he’s not totally naked like MacGruber was earlier. He must have had an “I won’t take off my shirt in any scene in this movie”, written into his contact. It would have been the lone bright spot in an otherwise ho-hum film. The huge piece of celery stuck between Ryan’s butt cheeks is kind of cute though. The celery had a leafy top, just like the kind of stalk you’d use in a Bloody Caesar. He either laughed like Hell filming that scene or cried silently in his trailer after the shot was complete. There’s Ryan with celery sticking from his arse and his man-jewels cupped in his hands watching his career gently fade away.

Movie Number Two.
Drag Me to Hell.

It’s not a bad demon movie, really. A little, old lady casts an evil spell on a young, blonde loan manager who is looking for a promotion within her bank. She makes a decision to not approve the loan to impress the bank manager. It backfires and the old lady casts away. She’s kind of engagingly annoying but God her teeth are disgusting. She probably smells and has nasty, yellowed chipped fingernails.
Nice touch. Yuck!
A lesson for all those loan managers and officers in banks who turn down loan applications to borderline customers: You might just get cursed and forced to eat a bucket of live maggots or get covered in blood and guts, if you refuse a loan. Especially to a little old lady that just happens to resemble a demon from Hell.
I’m just saying…

There’s even a corpse rolling out of a coffin at a wake that the loan officer just happens to crash when she’s looking for the old lady to tell her she has the loan after all.
Awww, isn’t that nice of her to reverse a decision?
The pretty little loan gal hopes the horror of the curse will end when she grants the loan.
She’s too late however.
The old lady has snuffed it.

So, the loan gal walks into a wake at the old lady’s house and just happens to stumble into the coffin, knocking it to the floor. The blonde loan arranger falls to the floor too. Of course, the corpse rolls out of the coffin right on top of her, leaking dark, green muck from its open mouth right into the cake hole of our heroine. Not a lot of laughs in this one.
Sounds like a typical Charlie Sheen night out, doesn’t it?
You’ll not eat guacamole for a week after this movie.
There’s a lot of “eek”!

Finally, a movie called Stonehenge Apocalypse from a Canadian Production company aligned with Corus, The Movie Network and Movie Central. Now, because there’s some Yankee Dollars (Movie Central) in the mix, the story has to be an American one because the producers haven’t the guts to set at least part of the movie here in Canada. There’s also this idea that American audiences won’t buy it. That’s part of our Canadian inferiority complex we’ve apparently had for decades. What’s hard to take is the fact that you can plainly see it was filmed in B.C.- even the Stonehenge bit that is supposed to be in England.
Overall however, it’s probably a good idea that we’ve been left out of this movie’s plot.

Here’s the end of the world coming as a result of electro-magnetic shit seeping out of the pyramids in Egypt, from Stonehenge and another Egyptian pyramid that’s buried somewhere in a New England farmer’s field. This latter pyramid eventually rises from the bowels of the earth and takes up space in the middle of an empty field.
Nobody notices. At least not the media or the neighbours. It’s pretty much like any other Thursday.
I say that because it just felt like a Thursday.
Don’t ask. It’s too much to unravel.

There’s also this US General too who seems to control the outcome of the world’s partial demise with a handful of army guys and a couple of jeeps. This part is laughable and the guy couldn’t act his way out of a 97 cent re-usable Wal*Mart shopping bag. He has the blessing of “World Leaders”, so he orders in a jet to drop a nuclear bomb on Stonehenge to stop all the insanity. The bomb is dropped- I’m talking about the one from the jet not this movie- but doesn’t quite make it to the ground because these electro-magnetic charges coming from Stonehenge make it disappear into thin air.
Yup.
There are just so many things wrong with this movie but it’s interesting to note that once again someone somewhere has money to produce this crap.

So, there you have it. Three flicks to look out for on the Movie Network or your On-Demand service.
Ratings?
In order of bad to worse.

Drag Me to Hell.

MacGruber.

Stonehenge Apocalypse.

Maybe you should just tweeze your nose hair instead…

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

ROBBLOG # 225


This is going to be a short Blog.

I may not have much time.
Well, in reality, I think I have some time.
I mean I am feeling fine. I am healthy. I exercise. I moisturize and my waist size is still smaller than it was a couple of decades ago. I am still able to remove my shirt in public without too much embarrassment and I can wear a rather form-fitting tee shirt and hold my own with many guys my age or in the case of a few friends, 10 years under my age.

My ego is in tact too- as you can see.
That being said, I am definitely starting the slide down the other side of the mountain that is life. Actually, I have been sliding the past decade. What is the average life expectancy for a Canadian Male anyway?
78?
Somewhere around there.
So what’s up Rob?- I hear you say.

Okay.
You dragged it out of me.
I applied for my Canada Pension the other day.
CPP.
The Canada Pension Plan.
I downloaded the pages from the Service Canada site.
By the way, what is that all about?
That name.
Services Canada?
It makes me feel old just hearing the name not to mention reading the site.
There has to be a better name.

Anyway, I am feeling sad. As you read in my last Blog, I was already feeling a little blue, what with the show I was a part of- closing last Sunday.
Now, this.
I read a column in the Star on Tuesday about choosing to take my CPP early. I had already made up my mind to do just that over the past year. This article suggested that I apply around the 6 month mark- before actually turning 60.

Gawd, that number looks old when I see it in print. I have always liked the numbers 6 and the number 0- except when they happen to be temperatures on a thermometer in fall and winter months!

So, I downloaded the pages from the Services Canada website. I answered the questions. Then signed the document. Slipped it into an envelope, stamped it and mailed it. All in about 15 minutes. Now I just wait to see how much pension I will get that will see me through the first few years of “old-age-hood”.

I’m on a roll. I Think I 'll do a pre-planned funeral next...that ought to be just as much fun!

My life as I know it is practically over- don't you think?
So, I am on the slide. I am down to the last few hundred metres on the far side of that big hill- until I reach bottom. Then I get boxed, heated to about a thousand degrees and plopped into a nice little urn and placed in a niche for eternity.

Oh yes, I must tell you, I watched a movie the other night called "Drag Me to HELL". It was a quirky little film filled with gore, maggots, an old witch, flying hobgoblins
and...well, you get the picture.
It gave me a few ideas on how much fun I could have in the years- maybe even decades I have left.

The End… almost.

Monday, February 21, 2011

ROBBLOG # 224


I have an empty feeling today.

No, not because I haven’t had any contact with my family in over a month and I miss them terribly.
No, it’s not that…I don’t.
I’m used to that scenario.
It’s happened a ton of times before- like 5 years ago when Tom and I were planning for our marriage- the official one as far as the laws of the land of Canada are concerned. Nobody talked to us for three months. My brother never came to the nuptials and as far as I can remember he has neither talked nor asked about the ceremony- or anything.
Maybe he’s seen pictures.
Maybe not.
Not to be outdone, there were missing links from Tom’s side of the family too.

However, this is not what this blog is about.

I am feeling empty because a show that I was in has just finished.
“Looking” from playwright Norm Foster’s pen and presented by Mariposa Arts Theatre, has just finished it’s two week run at the Studio Theatre at the Orillia Opera House. I have felt this way before. There’s always a closing to a show. Unlike Phantom of the Opera or Mamma Mia, eventually the show’s run comes to an end. People that you have worked with and been with for months becomes as unimportant to your day-to-day routine as someone you pass in the street or sit next to on a bus. It’s just a fact of theatre. You have this close-knit family for a certain stretch of time and then the curtain comes down and that’s it.
That’s it?
Yup, that’s it.

L-R: Me, Phyllis Johnson, Jim Dwyer & Patti Scott
 Doing this show with a cast of four and the backstage crew of twice that number, has been a wonderful experience. I learned much. It was a departure for me. The character I portrayed was nothing like me- except for the fact that he was a radio broadcaster for a Jazz station. A format- it just so happens, I have never worked in.

It was a funny show. It was a delight to hear the audiences laugh. To deliver dialogue and hit them with a second or third punchline- just as the laughter peaked and started to fall. It’s a real good feeling when the audience and the actors are in sync. But now it’s done. It’s over. The dialogue will start to disappear from my memory banks over the next weeks and months. I always wonder how I can keep it in my head for several weeks. Then, as soon as my brain gets the message that the show is over, the dialogue starts to fade.

The one glimmer of hope for this show is the fact that it might be re-mounted as part of
a Summer Theatre lineup.
That would be exciting if it comes true.
I am waiting to hear.

Cast & Crew
So, the emptiness will stay with me for a few days as I wean myself off the show, the character and the relationships that have been forged since last October.

As one of my lines of dialogue within “Looking” says:
Don’t cry because it’s over.
Smile because it happened.
Truer words…

Friday, February 18, 2011

ROBBLOG # 223 W E E K E N D Edition


Out in the Barn
…with Betsy, Lilloweth and Helen. PART II

“Look at that glorious morning sunshine! Isn’t it grand, just Grand?” exclaims Betsy as she looked out the porthole window in her stallhome.

Lilloweth- who lived next door, was nudging a small bunch of hay into a tiny pile with her nose. “Yes, it does make one’s heart glad. Land’s alive it does!” She began to chomp at the hay on the floor of her stallhome.

“Lilly, toss me some of that bright yellow hay you have there will you? It looks so yumm.”- says Betsy.

“Certainly Doll.” Lilloweth tossed a hearty bunch over the wall of her stallhome into Betsy’s. “Munch away on that. Isn’t it delightful? There’s more in the bin down by the harness hook. It must be from Farmer Frank’s south fourty, it is so delish!”

“So, Lilly, what do you want to do today?”- asks Betsy as she munched away.

“Well Doll, there’s this radio show on CBC all about bugs at eleven. I have to tune in of course but the rest of the day is clear!”

“My Goodness Dear, the things you listen to on that old radio!” cried Betsy, “I guess that’s why you know something about everything these days. That radio and you are quite the twosome - aren’t you?”

“I suppose so,”-Lilloweth conceded, “I just love the music and- oh! The news! That’s how I find out about that big, wide world outside that window of yours Doll!”

“I guess that world is pretty huge out there Dear, I mean beyond that south fence.” Betsy daydreamed for a short moment. Her dream was only broken only by the sound of Helen’s voice.

“So Girls, what’s the scoop this fine, sunny morn. Oh, I had the best sleep last night. I dreamt about Roger!”

“You mean that black bull from Hodgepodge Farm?”-Betsy seemed shocked. She turned and stuck her pretty head out the entrance of her stallhome. Helen stood just a few feet away.

“The very same Toots! He is sooo dreamy. Have you seen the size of his hoofs?”- Helen both gushed and blushed! Blushed as well as any “bovine” can, of course.

Lilloweth turned her huge backside towards the side wall of her stallhome, turning to see Helen she says- “Good Gosh Helen, you sound like such a tramp sometimes! Honestly, but you do!”

“I know!”- Helen gleefully replied. “Isn’t it wonderful! So Ladies I see you are both finishing breakfast. Sorry to interrupt you.”

“No, you’re not interrupting Helen, we were just talking about what we would do this lovely sunny day.”-says Betsy. “Lilly is going to listen to a radio programme first and then the day is free!”

Helen thought for just a second, then says- “I know! Let’s go down to the big oak, near the stream. We can munch on the tender grass in its shade and who knows, someone special might wander down into those woods on the other side of the old log rail fence!”

“Helen!”- Betsy cried, “You know very well who might wander down there. You’re hoping to see that Roger fellah- aren’t you?”

“That’s it Betsy! That’s what she is hoping for! Of course that’s exactly what she hopes will happen after her sordid midnight dreams!”- mooed Lilloweth.

“And just what is the harm in that Lilly? C’mon, it’ll be fun. We can take a salt lick and make an afternoon of it!” Helen’s eyes began to sparkle!

Betsy mused about the prospect. “Okay. Why not? Maybe some of those other boys will wander down too! It could be a picnic!”

“Yes, remember there’s that spot in the fence where we can hop over- or maybe the boys will wander over to this side. It’s a good thing the cedar bushes are so full there. I’d hate to think what Farmer Frank would say if he saw us cavorting with the boys from Hodgepodge Farm!”

“Then, it’s set.” Helen was ecstatic! “I better go give my hooves a polish. Oh! I can wear my new bell!”

Lilloweth looks up from her breakfast- “More jewellery Helen? You have more jewellery?”

“A girl can never have too much bling!” Helen winked. “Oh, listen gals, there are some apples in the wooden box under the tool shed window. I’ll throw a few in my bag- just in case you-know-who shows up and is hungry!”

“I guess I could bring my radio along for entertainment.”- Lilloweth added.

“Your radio? Now, how in the name of lumpy logs do you expect the cord to reach all the way down to the stream Dear?” Betsy had posed a sensible question.

“You have a point Betts. Better grab my MP3 Player with the attached stereo speakers instead!”- says Lilloweth.

“What? Now you have an MP3 player Dear?”- cried Betsy.

“Yes, of course. Doesn’t everyone these days? It came via CanPar just last week. What a nice delivery person too. He was ever so polite and handsome for a human. He tapped gently on my stallhome door and wished me a pleasant day!”

Betsy and Helen looked stunned.
It was a perfectly logical response thought Lilloweth.
Helen suddenly broke the lull. “You Ladies. You do make me smile you know. See you later, say noonish?”

“We’ll be ready- with bells on!” adds Betsy.

“As if!” Helen sauntered back to her stallhome.

Meanwhile, Lilloweth swayed back and forth to a new country song on the old Philco radio. Betsy got busy tidying up her stall as the brilliant morning sun shone through her window, flooding the floor beneath her feet with warm, gentle light.

It was indeed another lovely day in the Barn.