Friday, March 2, 2018

ROBBLOG #704 Just When I thought It Was Safe

Oh for Fuck Sakes!

Just when I've devoted myself to spending sleepless nights worrying about Dung Ung Jock Strap in North Korea and his sparring partner Mr. Cheeseface, along comes news that Iran and Saudi Arabia are preparing for war.
Not against North Korea but each other.
Can't these men find something else to do?
Like play with their collective dicks or something?
At least nobody would get hurt.
Well, feelings maybe as that happens when straight men start comparing their "john henry" sizes.

Just as many of us are planning our spring wardrobes for 2018, these boys are pulling out the big guns- no not their penises, and strutting down the warm-mongering walkways of Saudi and Iran.
I couldn't even read the entire story but you can bet it's religion or a "my cock is bigger than yours" thing.

I hear you saying- "My goodness Rob, so many "dong" references today."
Did you know that you can't- as a tourist, even visit Saudi Arabia? You have to be invited.
Well look, you just don't want a happy tourist venturing into an open square where someone is getting fingers, a hand or an entire head lopped off for being unlawful.
My goodness. Nobody wants to see shots of that on social media.

Hennaway, I'll let you know if it's time to kiss our asses goodbye- if I hear anything.


The Mister and I have been watching some Academy Award nominated films.
So far we've seen about six movies.

"The Darkest Hour" is all about Churchill and WWII. If you include the Churchill story in TV's The Crown and the recent film Churchill, The Darkest Hour is the third retelling. I still like John Lithgow's Churchill from The Crown best.

Staying in the same area of "death and destruction" or as it might be called "Men with Guns"...
see Saudi Story above...we watched "Dunkirk". 300,000 Brits being saved by a flotilla of small boats that set sail from England to Dunkirk to rescue men on the beaches surrounded on three sides by the enemy.
It was a lot of water and I had to pee- a lot.

Speaking of H2O and increased urination there's- "The Shape of Water".
Filmed in Toronto with many Toronto Cast & Crew- according to the credits that is, this movie had a
lovely visually appealing golden tone and was set in the 1960's. An Amphibian creature who actually turns out to be a 6 foot 3 inch actor in "real life" is caught by some government baddies and is saved by a young gal who eventually fucks the creature underwater in her bathroom which fills with water when she turns on all the taps.
I mean- who knew??
I wouldn't try this at home Girlfriends!!

Amphibian Creatures always make me pee!
Next is "Lady Bird"
I can't see why this is an Oscar contender. You see, Roseanne's TV Sister and a young gal playing the lead- I do not know who she is and I do not intend to look up her name,  finds her boyfriend in a men's room stall with another boy sucking his face off.
Yes, he was cute.
The other boy I mean!
Gee, a homosexual man having a homosexual kiss in a straight man's toilet.
You are wondering- what is this world coming too and why was this gal in the boy's john to begin with?

Boys! Boys! Take it outside!
Well, the "ladies" was busy and she really had to pee and of course men's bathrooms are never busy- unless "I" really have to go pee.
Now, that's not the entire story.
There's a movie life here reflecting real life and actually the entire movie is way more boring that real life, so, I will leave this one for you to judge.
This movie is all about 70's angst.
I hated the 70's.
I would say a bottle of Vodka on your TV table might help you get through this film.

We still intend to "get through" a couple more movies like "Get Out" a horror film where a white gal takes her black boyfriend home to see the folks.
Get out!
No I mean "Get. Out!"
A horror story for some and a remake of "Guess Who's Coming for Dinner" for others.

I also want to have a look at "The Post" with Hanks and Streep and also "Call Me By Your Name" which is a Gay Summertime Romp with more homosexual kissing- and heartache.

Say, maybe if men of war engaged in a little more man on man kissing.
I mean, as if they don't those Middle Eastern types.
Come. On.
Dark, swarthy men and there's never any women about when the men are revolting- if you catch my drift.
Who am I to judge.

Maybe if they laid down their guns, put aside their religious differences and swam naked in a pool on a hot summer night with a martini or two, they'd have something different to focus on- instead of warfare.

Just sayin'...