Friday, April 29, 2011

ROBBLOG # 257 W E E K E N D Edition

A cashier at Wal*Mart the other day attempted to sign me up for a Wal*Mart MasterCard.

“No Thank You. I use debit.”- said.

“Oh but the Wal*Mart Card does this and that…”

“No Thank You. I already have a credit card.”- I added.

She continued- “Well, with a Wal*Mart MasterCard Credit Card you can Bah, Blah, Blah.”

“No. Really. I’m fine.” I kept smiling as I swiped my Debit Card.

“You know”-she said, “Sometimes I tell my customers to rip up their current credit card and get a Wal*Mart Master Card Credit Card!”

“You know what I do sometimes?” I looked her square in the eye as I waited for my Debit transaction to process.

“No, what?”- she asked excitedly.

“Sometimes I tell cashiers to shove their cash registers up their Wal*Mart arses when they try to press me to get a Wal*Mart MasterCard Credit Card!”

Her mouth dropped. She was shocked and disappointed that her sales attempt didn’t work on me.

“Have a nice day!”- I cheerfully said as I grabbed my bags, placed them in my Wal*Mart shopping cart and headed for the exit. I like shopping at Wal*Mart as much as the next Wal*Mart shopper but give the credit card thing a rest. If a customer politely declines that should be the end of it.

Then, I go into Zellers. It’s a different tune. By the way I must mention here that I really hate that red colour scheme that Zellers has adopted in recent years. I know they are no longer “Truly Canadian”- being owned by Americans. When you think of it what True North Proud and Free Company isn’t owned by Americans? Besides Zellers- The Bay and Tim Horton’s comes to mind. I did read where Tim’s was being returned to Canadian ownership under the Red Maple Leaf but I don’t think that has happened. As far as I know that stalwart- Canadian Tire, is still Canadian. Imagine “American Tire”?
Just doesn’t have the same “patriot” ring to it.

Anyhow, at Zellers it’s-

“Is this on your HBC Card today?” says the beefy, tanned young man standing at the cash, a pencil stuck over his right ear.

“No. I don’t have one. Debit please.”

The jock cashier begins his sell- “Oh Sir, if you sign up for an HBC Card today you’ll receive 10% off your purchase.”

“Really?”- I say, “and will you strip to the waist and give me a manly massage if I get an HBC card today? There has to be something in it for me!”

I was being so cheeky. The cashier was surprised. Probably the best offer he’s had all day! He smiled broadly and said-
“You know if they paid me enough my shirt would be laying on the floor at your feet right now!”

We both laughed.
I continued.

“So how much interest does that HBC Card offer if I run a balance every month? About 30%. Sears is at 30%. So I would say 30%- or higher!”

He smiled and said-
“Slide your card through. Stripe to the left sir.”

The cashier knows he doesn’t have a credit card sale here but flashes me a Hollywood smile as he tucks my purchase into a red plastic Zellers bag.

“Have a great day!” he says.

“I’ll do my best!” I tell him.  “You have to give me credit for that.”