Sunday, October 30, 2011

ROBBLOG #333


Here it is Hallowe'en.
As an All Hallow's Eve gift for you, I searched my files for a real, scarry Hallowe'en story to post to my Blog. I want to warn you up front that this is a terribly haunting, nauseating story and you may never sleep well again. Enough said.
You have been warned.

A Side  Order of Toast

On a sunny morning- about half past eight, Betty Lou Bigrump decided to go to the local Casino for breakfast. Betty Lou loved eating breakfast-especially at the Casino. During her slumber the night before, she had even dreamed about mounds of scrambled eggs drenched in dark, rich, thick maple syrup. We said Mary Lou liked eating breakfast. We didn’t say she was a connoisseur. 

She dressed quickly in her favourite pair of pink track pants. The pair that highlighted her saggy ass best! Wedging herself through the front door, she ran for the garage and slid her ample buttcheeks onto the torn, vinyl seat of her Ford pickup. Betty Lou spirited away hungrily- down the street. 

At the Casino parking lot, she used the handicap parking pass- the one that her doctor had reluctantly agreed to sign. He had told Betty Lou that she should try walking a bit and just maybe her huge arse might shrink. Betty Lou Bigrump had had a hearty laugh at that one! She had laughed so hard, she jiggled all the bottles on the good Doctor’s Medicine Shelves, sending a couple crashing to the floor below. 

Once inside the Casino, Betty Lou raced for the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast Bar. She paid the cashier 10 bucks and was shown to a table where she sat alone- chewing her stubby fingertips, until the server came over and wished her a hearty, “Good Morning!”
“Yah. Whatever”- said Betty Lou, looking past the server’s slender hips towards the rapidly forming line in front of the “Egg Station”.
“Just bring me two large glasses of orange juice.”
She paused and had a think. “Oh, a big strawberry milkshake too.”
The server smiled lightly, spun on her heels disappearing into the small galley kitchen, just behind Betty Lou Bigrump’s table. 

Meanwhile, Betty Lou made a bee line for the stack of warm breakfast plates. She grabbed one from the top of the pile- right next to the huge Casino Toaster Oven. Without warning, her attention was diverted from the “Egg Station” as she watched fellow diners placing pieces of white Wonder Bread- side by side, on a metal belt. The slices of white dough disappeared into the redhot heat of the toaster. 

“Hmmmm. Perhaps, a couple of pieces of toast as a side to my Scrambled Eggs would be tasty”- she thought out loud while pushing an old lady with a cane away from the pile of sliced white bread, that stood like a “lopp-sided soldier”, next to the toaster.
Betty Lou Bigrump hastily grabbed a slice of bread in each hand and slapped them both onto the wire belt that disappeared into the oven. 

Suddenly and quite un-expectantly, the charm bracelet on her pudgy right wrist entangled itself on the oven’s wire belt, dragging Betty Lou Bigrump right inside the Toaster!

Everyone standing in front of the toaster watched her fat ass moving slowly towards the hot coils. Eventually, the oven engulfed Betty Lou- her big rump and all! Onlookers who had been waiting for their turn to make a “perfect piece of toast” began to walk towards a huge tray of chocolate croissants, just across the aisle. Many whistled a happy tune as they watched.

By and by the server became curious as to why Betty Lou Bigrump never returned to her table that morning to drink her two large glasses of orange juice and the big strawberry milkshake. 

The End.

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