It's just another day on Bleeker Street- featuring Baby Jane and Blanche.
It’s a sunny October afternoon on Bleeker Street- about a quarter past two. There’s a light wind blowing from the west and the temperature is hovering around 14 degrees Celsius. A Blue Jay is squawking in the Honey Locust Tree. Inside the well-kept, solid brick home where the Hudson Girls live, someone else is squawking…
Jane: Sister! What in tarnation are you trying to do. ~puff~
Blanche: (Blanche turns in her chair which is situated in front of the double pane glass window that looks out onto Bleeker Street.) Oh hello Jane Dear. I didn’t hear you slither in.
Jane: Now just what in the *&%* is that low-life remark supposed to mean? ~puff~ ~drag~puff~
Blanche: Nothing Jane Dear. Absolutely nothing at all. (Blanche snickers quietly to herself.)
Jane: So what in the Hell ~puff, puff~ are you doing?
Blanche: Oh, I thought I would hang a few scary witches and goblins here in the front window. You know, to get in the spirit of All Hallow’s Eve.
Jane: ~puff, puff~ Well, isn’t that sweet? So how come these witches and goblins are all just hanging in that lower pane Blanche?
Blanche: Well, Sister Dear, there are some limitations regarding what I can and cannot do whilst confined to this chair and its dreadful wheels. I can only reach the first pane of glass and that’s why all my little fun decorations are scotched taped to the lowest pane of glass.
Jane: ~puff~ puff~ Well, they look *&*#ing ridiculous!
Blanche: You know Jane Dear, you could simply ask me if I needed help rather than chastising me the way you do. You know very well I’d hang these witches and goblins on the uppermost pane of glass too if I wasn’t confined to this terrible chair.
Jane: But you are Blanche! ~puff~ ~drag~ ~puff~ ~ cough~ ~ hack~ But. You. Are…and nothing ain’t gonna change that anytime soon.
Blanche: Jane Dear, sometimes you are just absolutely horrid. Just horrid. If I had my magic wand, I’d change you into an ugly old toad.
Jane: Hah! ~puff~ ~puff~ as if that old magic wand works anyway. It’s more worthless than the piece if sh** you are!
Blanche reaches behind her and pulls out her magic wand.
Blanche: Flibbedy- Dibbety, duggedy bode, Turn my Sister into an ugly, old toad!
Jane: Hah! (Jane looks down at her arms and legs) Look at that Sister Dear. I’m still
here. ~puff~ ~drag~ ~puff~. Now if you don’t mind-
S P R O N G !…. B O I N G !…..P F A A T T !…..
I believe I will take my leave and head out into the back yard to catch a fly or two.
~ribbet~ puff~ ribbet~
Blanche: See you later Sister Dear! Blanche is smiling broadly.