Wednesday, August 3, 2011
A few days ago I received an e-mail.
It was sort of a funny e-mail to send to someone who is a self-confessed, non-religious “liberal”- if you know me. That means that I might/have/would/will vote for a candidate with “liberal” leanings.
The e-mail was not.
It was offensive.It bothered me on a personal level.It made me sad. What really bothered me was the fact that this “person” actually helped me celebrate a recent “special” event.
Also, I would never, ever vote for someone with a Conservative or “right-leaning” view on life.
I have been thinking about this e-mail and its content. I even asked a few friends to give me their thoughts. All of them were offended and found the content offensive. As I thought about a reply, e-mails started coming in to me from friends who read what had been sent.
Several said it was a piece of crap!
That's concise and to the point.
Some said they deleted it.
Many said it was very offensive on so many levels.
Some said it was typical of the “right”.
So, you know how I feel about the content. Then, I received one particular e-mail that hit the rightist nail smack on the head. So, with the author's permission, I am printing the retort.To understand what comes from where, I will print the “offensive” bit in italics and then the retort in bold font. Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a “bumpy” ride!
Please Note: The one about Gays- homosexuals- as Conservatives and Baptists call us, bothered me the most!
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative doesn't like guns he doesn't buy one? But if he does have a gun or multiple guns, he believes he should be able to keep it a secret. He lobbies his MP to get the long gun registry cancelled. He thinks "why should the government know how many guns I keep in my house?" Wouldn't want that information passed along to the swat squad sent in when he has a marital dispute or disagreement with his neighbour.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is a vegetarian he doesn't eat meat. I have never met a conservative vegetarian. Have you? Vegetarians are smart and don't burn through the resources of the planet as fast. A Conservative vegetarian is an oxymoron! What are they doing with the animals they shoot with their 'long guns' if they are not eating them?
If a Conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a conservative is a homosexual, he quietly leads his life- that being a “euphemism” for being deep in the closet and living a lie so as not to offend all those “Ward and June Cleaver” types. Yes, you wouldn't want to be living next door to a couple of “out in the open” homosexuals! How frightening would that be! Better keep those homosexuals in the closet or your children won't be safe! Gotta think of Wally and the Beaver! And while you're at it, better make sure that all the non-middle age white guy types- like visible minorities and women, should also all just quietly lead their lives and pretend that they have no rights or status in our society. Wouldn't want them making any waves either. Lets just leave all the decision making to the middle age conservative white guys. We'll all just be here waiting in our closet to be told what to do! Can I mix you a martini Ward? I know you've had a hard day of important decision- making at the office, while I've just been at home dusting my closet while wearing my 3 inch pumps!
If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative is down and out he thinks how he can better his situation. That's all conservatives think about is me me me! Never a thought goes to anyone but "me"! The phrase 'for the greater good of all' is not a part of a conservative's vocabulary. If a conservative is the CEO of a large corporation raking in millions, all he thinks about is how he can better his situation instead of his much lower paid employees. 'I've got mine now pull up the ladder' should be the party motto! Yes, that phrase ' how can I better my situation' really makes me want to be on the Titanic with a conservative when there is only one life jacket left!
If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
If a Liberal doesn't like a talk show host, he demands that it be shut down.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host he changes channels. Even if the talk show host is broadcasting vile, racist, hate for minority groups. That's OK with the good ole boy conservatives. Funny how if that 'talk show' is AlJezera and they are calling for death to Christians the conservatives change their tune. The KKK's OK but you can't be threatening the Christians!
If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
If a Liberal is a non-believer, he wants any mention of God and religion silenced (unless it's a foreign religion, of course!).
If a conservative is a non-believer he doesn't go to church. Again, like the vegetarians I think a non-believer conservative is an oxymoron. They all believe to a certain degree the doctrine but some don't bother to attend church. The ones that do usually are self- promoters like politicians, real estate agents, anyone trying to make a buck by looking like a “straight arrow” pillar of the community. For those that don't attend, the word hypocrite comes to mind. If the conservative party had a meeting of their avowed atheists they could hold it in a room the size of the closet they want the homosexuals to stay in!
And if a conservative is a believer- this is where it gets really scary! Imagine a ruling party that's some kind of hybrid of the former "progressive" ( good idea to scrap that word because that's the biggest oxymoron of all ) conservative party and the (born again christian) reform party. Imagine a party with a majority of seats that want to rule our country based on what their 'pastor' tells them to do every Sunday lest they offend the lord. Their born again Christian ideas should not be allowed to infringe on our laws anymore than the Muslim Sharia laws should. Fanatics are equally as dangerous whether they are Muslim or Christian and our country should not be run by either a front for the Taliban or a front for the Pentacostal church. Both are equally frightening in what should be a secular society, run by intelligent people. Intelligent people don't try and create laws based on a book written thousands of years ago. Intelligent people are not fanatics! You don't believe that the “reform-conservative party” has this as an agenda? Ask a majority of their MP's what their views are on a pregnant woman's rights over her own body. Ask MP David Sweet (Hamilton-Wentworth ) his views. He certainly felt strong enough about his views to stand in front of McMaster Hospital recently with a large picture of a fetus along with a group of anti-abortion protesters. This in the same city where a doctor was shot in his own home by an anti-abortion fanatic. Funny how after he became a 'conservative' MP he stopped doing that. Do you think he completely changed his personal beliefs or just decided to downplay them?
If a Conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have think about the truth contained in it. If a Liberal reads it, he will delete it because he's "offended".
And if a conservative reads, this he'll forward it to his friends? His friends that are conservatives so they can pat each other on the back at how wise they are to base their vote on this? To his non-conservative friends to try and convert them based on these simplistic little statements? I guess its all a numbers game to see how many you can convert from red to blue. Keep those little statements simple because you wouldn't want people to have to think about it too much. You're not after the “thinking” crowd anyway. You want the ones that just want to align themselves with a team without having to do too much thinking. Red vs blue equals Liberals vs Conservatives or maybe its Montreal Canadians vs Toronto Maple Leafs. Same mind set! As long as people belong to a 'team' they don't have to think, just vote for the team- oops, party they're told to.Maybe you should start your indoctrination with people from Toronto. Their 'conservative' mayor wants to close the libraries there. Once you take away people's ability to educate themselves and their children that's a big step toward the next generation not being able to think for themselves and needing someone to do it for them. That should encourage people to join the 'blue team'.
Well, I forwarded it to you.
(The person's name was signed here!)
Even though I am not a conservative or a liberal or an NDP'er, I did forward your email to some of my friends. Everyone enjoys a good laugh from a funny email! Hope your 'blue team' is enjoying their 'Stanley Cup'. Next season should be interesting! I hear the red and orange are thinking of batting for the same team. That wouldn't really make for a fair game though. Almost like combining the reform and conservative!
So, I told you it was going to be bumpy.
Now, discuss....Oh yes, to the person who sent me this "offensive" read- don't send me stuff like this again.
Now you all know.Don't judge me.
I am just the messenger here.
Have a good one!
Posted by Rob Reid at 9:42 PM