There are three people in the whole, entire world who can grant wishes. They being Justin Trudeau, Santa Claus and - The Jesus.
Today Dear Readers, I will focus on the latter- not Church of the Latter- but The Jesus.
Now I am not a believer at all and if you have read my Blogs over the years, you will know that. You will also know I believe if you believe in a deity and that turns your crank and helps you get up in the morning, then more power to you.
Today, I have a list of things I want accomplished. Just for me.
I figure that the Prime Minister is much too busy with covid and Members of Parliament- noticed I used the word "Members", who have the need to show their penises to other members of Parliament. Now I think as Canadians and the very voters who put those "members" in parliament, we should have the right to see a Member's "member" and judge for ourselves if it's a nice penis or not.
I mean changing clothes in front of a possibly "live" camera could have been an honest mistake but to pee on camera, honestly, this MP knew what he was doing- didn't he? You might want to back up and read ROBBLOG # 880 to retrace my own experiences with the sight of penises.
Anyhoo, Justin's focus is elsewhere...
Now Santa is a busy man but being almost halfway through this year already I think he is just too busy to grant three wishes not to mention an entire list.
That brings me to the latter choice- "The Jesus".
Dear Jesus, listen to my wants and needs list and if you have some spare time please make all my wishes come true.
First item: The Jesus, I have been having a lot of paint in my neck and shoulders recently and this paint has made it way up to my head. Now, I hope I don't have cancer or a blood clot or anything but before I make an appointment with "Dr. Google" couldn't you just heal me now?
I'd be ever so grateful.
Second Item: The Jesus, I have been checked for almost a decade for glaucoma. My Grandmother had it and now it seems my Optometrist sees the beginning of it in my left eye. Yes The Jesus, I can see a specialist- an ophthalmologist, who could quite possibly give me eye drops but I have been told that that is a year and a half to two years wait.
The Jesus, just save me some wait time and heal me now. Please and thank you.
Third Item: The Jesus you already know- because you are omnipotent, that I have another specialist appointment in the near future. This "specialist" is educated in "down there" problems. I was experiencing "down there" stuff almost four months ago when Dr. Google made the appointment but the problem has gone away. I still want to see this specialist because I want his opinion. I want to ask if all this stuff is happening because I am turning 70 very soon or is it just luck of the draw.
Dear The Jesus, just to save me more stress and added worry can you just reach down and tap me with your magic "The Jesus Wand" and make it all better.
So, that's my list The Jesus. You'll notice I didn't even ask you for a million dollars as many other greedy, self-centred devotees of your religion do.
The way I see it, at this point in one's short life I have maybe 10 to 15 good years left. Good years meaning years where I don't have to wear a giant diaper or forget my name or forget where I live or even be aware of the fact that I am wearing a giant diaper.
That's not a lot of time.
Yes, I could live longer but unless some Doctor or Scientist hurries themselves up and invents a pill to keep me youngish and healthy I don't believe I have a chance in Satan's Hell!
I mean that. I really do.
It's a bleak future is it not The Jesus?
Now all kidding aside, let me be perfectly serious for a second.
If...IF you are up there in Heaven The Jesus can you please take a minute or two and make me well- if I need to be made well.
Just give me a little magic whomp anyway.
It may be good for my soul- if I had one.
Now, The Jesus, I will leave all this and that in your capable, English-Speaking, white hands.
In the meantime, I am going to do a Google Search to find a picture of The Member's member.
Let's see what all the fuss is about...
