Dear Readers, the blog you are bout to read is all about the Penis.
Penises to be exact.
It may be long.
It may be short.
The BLOG I mean!
Penises or "a penis" seems to pop up every now again in the news. Like sticking one's nose in someone's business somewhere along the way a guy sticks his penis somewhere and not always where it is wanted.
Some guys are proud of their appendage and want to show it off whenever possible- even to those who may not want to see it in particular or to those who never ever have any interest in seeing it- like Lesbians. Usually they will politely decline if offered the chance to view one.
That's their choice.
It's in the Constitution- I think....or is the Bible?
For me personally, I started seeing penises when I was quite young. I've seen a good many so far in my life and in fact I still see the odd one today.
Not an odd penis- I mean it's happenchance to see a penis at all these days.
Sometimes one is sent in a greeting card. Sometimes sent from a friend- not the actual friend's penis, just a penis that belongs to someone else that a friend feels the need to share with someone like me.
I guess I saw my first penis a few years before I turned ten.
I saw it in Lake Simcoe in Ontario.
It was the penis of one of two brothers who were friends. Summer friends who visited their Nan each summer.
First I saw one friend's penis then the brother's.
They were okay to look at swimming along in the cool water looking like baby squids
Now, before I go further, let it be known that a penis is know by many other names.
For instance-
Dick,
Pee Pee,
Cock,
Sausage,
Manhood,
Baloney Pony,
Rod etc.
There are more and you may have a favourite.
So as I just said above, my first Pee Pees were seen in a lake on a hot July day in the mid-fifties.
My next penis was also seen in the summer. This Dick was attached to Larry. I can't remember his face but I do remember his penis- and his name. Larry liked to show me his Dick in his sister's playhouse.
He was quite insistent and liked to show me his willy on a hot summer day. The hotter- the better.
I never had a problem with that.
It's what young boys do in the summer.
At least I think that's what young boys do or did.
Eventually, as time passed I grew older as did the penises I saw. In high school there were penises galore in shower rooms. Some stood out amongst the crowd- like the Westmoreland Twins. Hardy farm boys who were packing monsters!
The girls tittered when they heard.
Size Queens!
The smallest penis I ever had the joy to witness was about the size of my little finger.
I was shocked quite frankly and felt a little sorry for its owner but eventually that smallish penis went on to father children.
Size doesn't matter- apparently.
Once in Nagara Falls Ontario, there was a Dick that belonged to an extremely well-built, hirsute Englishman who was about 6 foot two and played rugby. I'll give you a minute to picture this...
It's a long story as to how I ended up in Niagara Falls for a weekend one summer but needless to say I slept on this Englishman's living room couch. You see, he slept elsewhere, in his bedroom, with his wife I would imagine- who was a heavy sleeper.
Now I know what you're thinking...slut!
Look, I was on that couch sound asleep when he tip-toed out to the living room to ask me if I was comfortable. He stood a few feet from the couch where I lay, covering his nakedness with a drapery from the window. I could see all this because of the opportune positioning of a street lamp directly outside the window where I lay.
Well, what was I to do?
Say no?
I was his guest after all.
It was worth the effort to be the perfect guest- I must say!
Once a few years later, I saw another pair of penises that belonged to another pair of brothers- one I had a crush on for many summers.
Rick.
Rhymes with Dick. Did you notice?
This particular warmish summer day we were in a cabana on a beach changing into our swimwear. I thought Rick had a sturdy fellah down there but his brother Joe won the blue ribbon and there was plenty of room to pin it along the length and breadth of it.
To make matters ever more delightful, Joe swung naked from the rafters in this roomy Cabana Hut like a muscle-bound Jungle Boy.
I don't know why he did but he did as his brother and I watched.
I grinned...
A few years further along I had a couple of opportunities to see Dicks but I refused.
One was a roommate who wanted me to check out a pimple that had grown on the side of his John Thomas. I politely refused and suggested a Doctor might be a better, wiser choice. Along about the same time a flighty, little piano tuner who was decades ahead of me in years wanted desperately to show me his Howdy Doody. I steadfastly stood my ground and said no.
In return he asked me to show him mine.
Nope.
Sorry I said, but just no.
I mean a girl has her rules...
A year or two later I moved along focusing on straight men's penises. At the time there was not a good stock of Gay Penises to be had so, you know- any cock in a storm.
What I believe was my first married, straight penis came straight out of the blue.
He asked.
I said yes.
For a couple of years he was insatiable and I mean he just didn't stop at looking.
That's a story for another blog or the book I have yet to complete.
He was what I would term "hot" even though I knew there was no future with his penis because he always went home to "the wife" but it was immensely enjoyable to see while it lasted.
In later years along came an Italian Dick, a Swimmer's Dick, A Dick that moved cargo for a major airline and a Dick that approached me in the warm Pacific waters in front of a major tropical hotel.
I know of course what you're wanting to ask me.
Well...
What is the biggest penis I ever saw alive and in person?
To this very day it is-
11 inches!
and yes I used a ruler!!
Let that sink in!!
He was a sweet man who was a clothes horse- when I saw him in them.
Keep your mind out of the gutter Ladies and Gentlemen. After all this is simply a blog about a variety of penises.
Nothing more.
Now today, a penis- a 32 year old plus penis, is in the news.
This fellah put it on display all those years ago and now more than three decades later the person who was on the receiving end of the display decided it was not appreciated. Remember too that Member of Parliament in Muskoka, Ontario did it a few years back. Didn't he text photos of his wiener to ladies?
It's bound to happen what with social media and all but still there are rules and a thing called consent.
As my Dad once said to me-
"Rob, keep your pecker in your pants!"
Words to live buy and I usually did-
most of the time...
