Boy, it's been quite the nasty weather for parts of this wonderful country called CANADA.
Not here on Vancouver Island of course. No, we have been basking in double digit temps while planting our lavender, palms, banana plants and such. Unfortunately, some of you have seen rain, freezing rain, twenty to thirty centimetres of snow, ice pellets, high winds, Doug Ford ranting about being Ontario's next Premier and even more snow and freezing rain and wind.
It's been horrendous for Easterners to say the least.
So what the feck gives?
Think about it.
Cold, snow, power outages, accidents, the west bombing Syria, unusual April weather...
~pause~
For Goodness sakes People, it's the end of days as in the Prophecy.
You know- in the Good Book.
The date is nigh.
It's Monday April 23rd, 2018.
The day when thousands of you will be raised up to Heaven and millions of dead people- stuck in their coffins and whatnot underground for years, will accompany you.
Bleech.
It's not a pretty sight but once you have arrived in Heaven things will be hunky-dory and smell pretty darn good.
Now, those of us that don't wish to be a part of "The Rapture" and fly upwards on April 23rd should not feel left out. We are not lost- or to be pitied.
We will have 7 days or so- give or take, to come to our senses and fall to our knees to He who rules both Heaven and Earth.
You should know that He has plans on decreasing the surplus population if we don't see things His way.
Even so, it might not be such a bad idea to wait it out.
You know how these massive events can be...
People.
Noise.
Crowding.
Bad food.
Kids shrieking.
Assholes in front of you holding up the line, asking for better seats as you prepare to fly heavenward.
You should know that there'll be no First Class or Business Class as you fly to Heaven.
No window seats either. Every seat is a window seat.
It's all one contented class. All one BIG happy family.
It's what you have all been waiting for since time began.
Okay, maybe not that far back since the dinosaurs and early man don't count this time around but it is good news for those of you from Adam and Eve- or Adam and Steve, onwards.
You'll all be saved and fly equally.
By the way, I am not certain that you'll get air miles for this Rapturous Flight.
I have to come clean here. Perhaps, it's not exactly true that you'll all be treated equally.
You see, the Catholics- who practise the only true religion, will probably fly up front first as millions attempt what Sister Bertrille- Sally Field in real life, so ably accomplished on TV a few decades ago.
What a day this will be.
Monday April 23rd.
Circle the date on your calendar or make a notation in your "palm pilot".
The ends of days is upon us.
Good thing I didn't buy those Stampeders' tickets last week!
Oh My Lady- that was a close one!
So you all have a great and glorious day as you prepare for the inevitable and the "final" great and glorious day.
See you next time right here on my Blog...
or- maybe not...
