Monday, June 10, 2013


Dame Clare Voyant

Well My Dears, 

having placed myself in semi-retirement from the writing biz, it’s nice to check in with you poorer, gentler folk every now and then. I remain extremely delighted and appreciative that Mr. Reid allows me to avail myself of his space at the slightest whim. He is a good man and a good, hard man is tough to find. At least that’s what my best friend Hedda Lettuce tells me. She and her secretary slash companion Sofonda Cox are quite well skilled in finding good men and she says it’s not always hard. If it isn’t, there’s plenty more whales in the ocean- so she tells me. 

Another summer is here- although someone needs to nudge Mother Nature along. Some days it feels like she’s stuck at the end of April. Nonetheless, I have been busy. Hedda and I took a trip to the Big Smoke recently. We had lunch at Chez Frommage and then took in a matinee performance of The Wizard of Oz. That Dear Mr. Mirvish, always offering me box seats but My Dears, I always but always thank him and purchase mine in the same way you common folks do- at the Box Office. 

The show was superb. I thought Mr. Mike Jackson’s portrayal of The Tin Man was both comical and erotic. So much tin. So little time. I must say a couple of the ensemble lads kept Hedda and I wide-eyed and tittering too- especially that Darling Boy- Sam DiGiuseppe. Such a nice face, a firm dancer’s bum and a chest full of hair that would rival Mr. Hugh Jackson’s hirsute pectorals.

I mean that My Dears.
I really do. 

Toto was Darling and the young Miss Danielle Wade was endearing and always smiling. Why My Dears with all those young lads bouncing about onstage, who wouldn’t be smiling? 

So, what else is rocking my world you ask?

Roger and his husband Xavier are planning a Barbeque to celebrate Canada Day. The invites are out and the boys are waiting to receive RSVP’s. The party had a red theme and ruby red speedos- the colour of Dorothy’s sensible shows, will be the order of the day. There’ll be  Fireworks at dusk- no my Dear I am not talking about the fireworks Mano a Mano, I mean the real thing.
Boom. Kaboom. Bang!

Hedda and Sofonda are making three kinds of Potato Salad and I plan to whip up a batch of my special Summer Smoothies. Nothing gets a party started like my Summer Smoothies! They are a holiday must! 

Oh. I almost forgot. Roger and Xavier and Hedda and Sofonda and I have rented a cabin in Muskoka for mid-July. I can hardly wait to “summer” like you common folks. Roughing it, you know- in the bush. Drawing water from the lake and other “chores”. Well, actually the water comes through a gold tap- just like here at the Palais but I would expect it is drawn from Lake Muskoka. Not that I have to worry about that My Dears. Darling Daisy my upstairs maid is handling staff planning and we think at this point an even dozen staff should do it.

Well, My Dears, I am slumming after all and someone has to keep watch over the 23 rooms and 8 bathrooms. You know what it’s like living in a cabin- don’t you? 

I ask you My Dears.
Don’t you?

Well, I hear the lunch bell ringing and I’m taking it by the pool today. I not only get to enjoy my egg salad sandwiches on whole wheat but I’ll also enjoy watching Roger and Xavier frolic in the pool. 

Does it get any better My Dears?
I ask you. 

Tah for now!
Maybe we’ll meet each other as we “slum” in the woods in July.
In the meantime, don’t let the Bears bite!