Holy
Moley!
Straight
guys watch out!
Apparently-
Dr. Michael Douglas- who possesses a “cunning” knowledge of lady’s parts, is
warning gentlemen if they go “down there” they could get sick.
Who
knew?
It’s
just another reason to rejoice at being a Gay Man.
We
don’t have to head south to the “fish market”. No, we boys can feel fairly safe
stopping by the sausage cart- if it’s been properly disinfected. Now, I’m not
saying that the “mayonnaise” is safe to swallow if it’s been in the heat but a
quick lick or two is relatively okay.
Of
course, playing hide the kielbasa is another story and one needs to wear a rubber
raincoat for those occasions.
Hetro
Men, just be aware that going down there could mean you’ll never be able to hit
High C again. Your throat might tighten up, your teeth could fall out and your
gums bleed.
There
are no scientific studies to prove this but be warned. VuhJJ’s could prove
dangerous to your health.
Ask
any Homosexual Gay Man. We’ve know this for years.
In
the “Gay World”, foreskin is forewarned.
It’s
just that roaming that possibly unchartered territory down under is similar to
meeting a bear in the woods- especially if you’re un-armed.
It
all seems like a good reason to pitch for the “other” side- doesn’t it?
As
you may well know, we’re always looking for new members to the “club”.
There
are even perks!
Fun
things like…
Free
toasters for those of us who bring a straight man into the fold.
The
opportunity to wear “Better Clothes”.
A
headrush of good taste will come your way, plus a six pack- abs not beer.
The
opportunity is there- if you have good musculature and a nicely haired chest,
to be adored for the rest of your days.
What’s
not to like about that?
The
best part is all you have to do is have fun. Watch your weight. Be a little “bitchy”
a couple of times a month and be tickled pink when fawned over by other guys.
Hey!
In the Gay World it’s even OK to wear a jet-black Speedo bathing suit on the
beach.
Try
walking down Church Street in Toronto on a hot summer day in your tighty blacky
while
complimenting
that tiny piece of stretch latex with a fabulous pair of midnight noir
flip-flops and you’ll be cruised and fawned over till the “Bears” come home.
Boys
will whistle and horns will honk!
When
you head to the little Gents rooms at your favourite bar, the rest of the guys
will follow you for fun and fight for positions at the urinals next to yours.
Maybe
you’ll be asked to pose for a photo or two.
I
told you the Gay World is fun- didn’t moi!
So
Faggots, thank your lucky stars that you don’t have to play “Licky with Lucy”
when you can be “Slurpy with Sammy”.
Throat
problems of any kind at any time of the year are less than fun so, hang up your
diving gear and keep a stiff upper- or lower as the case may be.
Toodles!
