Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I got an e-mail today.
From Dame Clare.
She’s touring in the Winnie- as is her wont to do each summer.
Here’s what she has to say:

Well, My Dears, I must give what the young folks call a “shout out” to Mr. Reid as I begin this catch-up column. Why, if it weren’t for Mr. Reid, I never would have been able to bring my life and lifestyle to the pages of his website and into your dreary, drab, dull little lives all those years.

For that I am grateful.

Now, he lets me share his BlogSpot space from time to time. It’s really a bit like both Mr. Reid and I retiring- at the very least slowing down some. Why I used to be stuck to my typewriter madly banging out columns while he set the webpages in motion. It got to be a bit much. So we downsized!

Some days I miss all the action but Mr. Reid says I can submit a column- Blog if you prefer, anytime my Royal Heart desires. So-
Here I am- again!

It’s summer and the Winnie is all loaded with food and drink and my very best friend Hedda Lettuce and of course- her secretary slash companion Sofonda Cox. However My Dears, I must tell you we have a new passenger to tag along with us this year.
No! It’s neither My Head Pool Boy Roger nor, his husky, affable hubbie Xavier.

My Dears do you simple folk remember that Farmer Lad I told you about a couple of summers ago? Remember we stopped the Winnie for corn and fresh produce and this delightful- albeit quite muscular, young man grabbed a bulging armful of corn and loaded it into the Winnie for us? Why he even invited us for dinner and a bonfire. He was quite charming in his cut-off denims and nothing else. We’ve kept in touch with a handwritten note now and then and this year I offered him space on board the Winnie to traverse the province with the three of us!

Well Darlings, the young man has joined us for this year’s adventure and all he packed was a couple of tee Shirts, a pair of shorts- or two, some flip-flops and a half dozen Speedos that he wears constantly- especially when he takes over the wheel of the Winnie. He says he’s at his most comfortable when he’s driving with little more than a smile. Perhaps Mr. Reid will print a picture of the young lad!

Oh yes- his name is Rod!
Enough said there my Dears!

It is a distinct pleasure to have his strong hands- along with a pair of the biggest, bulging biceps that I have ever seen, grasp the wheel of the Winnie while we three girls watch the scenery go by or give each other pedicures!
Why just the other day, Rod asked if he could have one- a pedicure.
I mean why not Darlings, so I gave him one.
I must say many days I was hoping that he would give me one but alas Your Dame must be thankful for what she gets and where and when she gets it.
My Dears, Rod purred like a kitten when I soaked his manly tootsies in soapy suds.
What fun!

Last week we saw the liftlocks at Peterborough and picnicked along the banks of the Trent. Lovely boats sailed by as we stretched out on blankets.
At times, occupants of the passing crafts waved at those of us on shore.
We waved back- heartily.
I wonder if Rod’s blonde chest hairs glistening in the afternoon sun had something to do with grabbing the attention of passersby?
I dunno.
Perhaps My Dears, they did.

Then, we motored on down to the Shaw at Niagara-on-the-Lake. We had to purchase Rod a pair of dress khakis, so he could attend the theatre with us. They have a strict rule of “No Speedos” in the theatre. In Rod’s case it could be quite distracting to the actors on stage as well as the audience.

Oh My Dears did Hedda and Sofonda and I have a great chuckle over that one.
I must say that!
I really must My Dears!

We had a look at the Falls too. Goodness, all that water flowing over those rocks plummeting to the river below. It truly is a wonder!
It was much like our friend Rod sashaying around Clifton Hill in pink flip-flops and a black speedo.
To say he acquired attention would be putting it mildly my Dears.
I must say that.
I really must!

Next we head to Brantford- the Dairy Capital of Canada. Eventually we’ll end up in Windsor and take in the Reba McIntyre Show at Casino Windsor on August 11th. Then the merry foursome will head back to Toronto for the Canadian National Exhibition.

I hope all you little folks back home- and abroad, are having a wonderful summer.
Have one for me around the cocktail hour- won’t you?

Oh Dear, Sofonda, Hedda and Rod are giggling about something or other outside the Winnie. I must go and see what the fuss is all about.
Probably playing connect the freckles on Rod’s backside again!

Goodness my Dears!
...and I mean that.
I really do.

Tah for now!