Monday, March 26, 2018

ROBBLOG# 710 Here Comes Peter Cottontail


OMG!
Here Comes Peter Cottontail!
It's Easter.


Sweet little bunnies, baskets of eggs, mouth-watering chocolate, new hats and outfits, spring flowers and thoughts of warmer days just ahead.

Then, there's the Christians.
Oh My Dears...
It's the time of the season to think about death, pain, torture and sin.
Then, more torture, blood, whipping, palms being waved in the air, a little more blood and a resurrection from being dead for three whole days-
In that heat?
Pee-Yu!

The Good Book has both Lazrus being resurrected by Jesus and Jesus being brought back to life by his Dad- The Heavenly Father, only to be seen first- in his resurrected state, by a Harlot who just happens to be the first recorded case of a "Fag Hag"... in my humble "Atheist" opinion.

Of course being brought back to life after being dead for a bit is "biblically balanced" by the Son of the Almighty being birthed by a young- possibly under 16 years old, Virgin child.

Now, if an alien were to be told some of these things their response would be-
"WTF??".
Of course the alien in question would have to be super advanced and see the humour in the situation especially when told that millions of earthlings believe in this stuff- many word for word.

So Easter.
Jerusalem is booming with both Christians and Jews flocking to the Holy City to be near to God. Many get carried away- quite literally, to hospitals. These folks get so caught up in believing this stuff that they fall ill.
It's call the Jerusalem Syndrome.
Wikipedia- where everything is true, describes the condition as- “A group of mental phenomena involving the presence of either religiously themed obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis-like experiences that are triggered by a visit to the city of Jerusalem.”

Psychology Today says - "People have been found wandering in the Judean desert wrapped in hotel bed sheets or camped in front of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, convinced they will soon be birthing the infant Jesus."

For Jews the whole City of Jerusalem is a special place. From the Wall to the Dome of the Rock to the very air and sky. There's a belief that the sky and earth meet in Jerusalem.
Maybe just outside a local McDonalds.

I've been reading about some over-the-top believers saying they are actually Jesus or at the very least his cousin- the unwashed, fur-wearing John the Baptist. I haven't read anything- so far, of any gal convinced that she is Mary Magdalene, the "holy" trollop who hung around with Jeeze and the Boys.

It is a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World- isn't it?

Only last week we had a bible-thumping neighbour yelling bible verses down the street after us because I had said- "Not my Book, Not my Belief" to him when he first quoted something about trees and petroleum from the bible.

Fuckety-Fuck! (my new favourite expression)

Jesus- right after Mary Magdalene told a knock-knock joke
Maybe I am wrong here but I do not think the word "petroleum" is actually in the Bible, let alone verses regarding pulp and paper mills killing Canadian trees to make newsprint for European publications.
Am I wearing a tee shirt these days saying "Religious Zealots Pick On Me"?
Thank the Good Deity for having several Island Atheists living in close proximity. I mean we can dance naked around open fires swilling copious amounts of wine pretty much anytime we choose these days.
I am happy that I am not alone in my beliefs.
Not so much a "belief" as a "lifestyle"- you know like the Christians believe we Gays and Lesbians lead.

Christians can be the most judgemental of all.
Many thrive on it...not all.


Esther and Marge on Easter Morning in church for instance:

(Christ the Lord Has Risen Today being sung in the background)

Esther: "Oh Look at that hat June is wearing Marge. Looks like something outta the local thrift shop or dump."

Marge: "Yes, I do vow. Oh but she's a real tramp anyway.
 ~pause~
At least that's what Bertha Phillips over at the laundromat says. A different man every week but that hat- a real dog's Breakfast!"

Esther: "Praise the Lord, ain't that so..."


So Easter.
For those "Atheists" in the crowd, enjoy your chocolate and new shoes.
For all others, whatever turns your crank.

However, be careful and be smart- especially if you head out into the Saskatchewan Desert wrapped in a Motel 6 bedsheet looking for a vision from Andrew Scheer.

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