I can’t think of much to write about these days- what with this awful month of January and all.
However, my purpose here is to entertain you- the reader of this Blog, so I think I had better get to it- hadn’t I?
Now, I can’t do a balancing act nor recite poetry because you can neither hear nor see me.
No, I will just have to impress you with words or a story.
Now, let me see……
There once was a Woodcutter by the name of Nathan. Nathan lived in the woods in a cozy, little cottage made of wood- since he was a Woodsman. He built the charming cottage by himself in an open meadow within the woods. Nathan was very strong and had huge biceps because of the woodcutting and other stuff that he did- almost daily.
Many people- both manly men and willowy women, who lived in the neighbouring village considered him hot! Now, some of the other “stuff” he didn’t do every day but he did do it most days and there were even some days when he did other “stuff” three and four times.
Now, about two weeks ago, Nathan went to bed at his usual time- about 930 ish. Nathan as I mentioned before was very strong. He was also very, very handsome with a cleft chin and a profuse patch of wiry hair on his chest.
He would be quite the catch.
Nathan as I mentioned before was a beefy, brawny man. He stood about 5 foot 9 in his bare, athletic feet and always slept in the raw.
That means naked.
He liked to air his pores at night. He also liked to unfetter his man-parts, letting them flop about all night long- unencumbered.
To put it quite plainly Dear Readers- Nathan liked being naked.
Some days he would even chop wood while he was naked- that’s not only dangerous, it’s a story for another time and place!
So, Nathan trotted off to bed after brushing his teeth and taking a long, hot, soapy shower with Mr. SpongeJohn. That’s what Nathan called his “shower glove”-
Soon, after climbing between the cool sheets- made from 350 thread count Egyptian cotton, Nathan fell into a deep sleep. He slept for several hours.
Much later, he woke finding his arms flung uncomfortably above his head.
Nathan knew he never slept with his arms above his head….although, sometimes when the morning sun spread its welcoming rays across the bed, he would kick off the covers and lie there letting the sun caress every inch of his powerful, naked Woodcutter’s body.
Nathan knew he was awake but his head felt a little fuzzy. His right arm seemed to be asleep even though he knew he had to be awake. The arm started to tingle- just a bit.
He felt different somehow. It didn’t feel like he was lying on his familiar, soft, memory foam mattress tucked between 350 thread count sheets. He lifted his head to the right and saw that he was lying flat on what appeared to be a piece of warm, dark-coloured, granite. He tilted his head forward and looked down his stocky Woodcutter frame through the thick, black hair that covered his muscular, barrel-shaped chest.
At once he could see he was still naked.
His size 12 feet were bare and he could see both ankles were bound by what appeared to be thick, dark-coloured, leather straps.
The straps were irritating his leg hair.
Yes, not only was Nathan a Woodsman but he was a hairy Woodsman.
That was a plain and simple fact- very hairy indeed- from the top of his head to the tip of his furry toes. Onlookers frequently made the same observation when they saw him swimming in the pond at the edge of the village.
He didn’t mind.
He liked being hirsute.
Somehow it made him feel like a manly man- confident and comfortable in his own hairy skin.
Nathan chuckled to himself - better that than a pale-skinned, eviscerated chicken like some of the other guys who swam in the pond.
Yes, to be sure, Nathan trimmed occasionally with his Phillips Body Hair Trimmer just to keep things looking neat and tidy but right now, the ample hair on his legs and ankles was the reason for the slight discomfort. Hair burn- he thought.
Looking above his head he could see that both wrists were bound by the same leather straps as his ankles. His right arm still tingled with numbness. He curled his beefy arms and flexed his bound Woodsman Wrists as much as he could and soon some of the numbness abated- yet the leather thongs still held his thick wrists firmly in place.
He looked about and saw torches gently flickering at each corner of the slab where he lay- constrained. Orange-hued flames gently danced across his tanned stomach and thighs.
Actually, Nathan was tanned all over, you know, what with chopping wood naked sometimes.
He wasn’t cold as he lay there.
The air temperature in the room and that of the slab was warm and comforting. It was dark except for the flickering light from the torches and a rather large candelabrum- that held a dozen or so candles, standing a short distance to the left of his unclothed frame. At first Nathan thought he heard Liberace playing “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria” from the Sound of Music but alas he was mistaken.
The room was quiet.
Nathan, as I mentioned before, felt comfortable in his nakedness, so he didn’t find his predicament upsetting in the least being tied to that slab in a comfortably warm- yet darkened room. He wondered how he had been brought to this place. Who had tied his naked Woodcutter’s frame to the granite slab and why had he not resisted?
At present, Nathan laid there in all his glory, pondering the situation. As he did so, he felt a strange movement of air nearby and saw a shadow moving through the flickering candlelight. Although he could see no one, he sensed a presence. Someone or something was standing or perhaps sitting just outside the boundaries of his peripheral vision. A minute or two passed.
Nathan’s muscles strained from beneath his leather straps as he tried to free himself.
He had to pee but struggling was useless. He was bound tightly.
How good he must look- he mused, tied naked to the slab. If only someone had the wherewithal to snap a photo or two with his smartphone but alas Nathan realized he wasn’t wearing the jacket where his Smartphone was safely tucked away in the inside breast pocket.
Suddenly, as Nathan lay there looking all good and musclebound, he felt a soft, gentle brush across his manly hardware. He looked down once more, through the wiry, dark hair covering his beefy chest, then down even more over his tawny mid-section towards his privates.
There he saw a rugged hand holding a large, red feather which was tickling his manbits…