Saturday, March 15, 2014


Dear Province of Quebec and Pauline Marois- Dictator,
Look, I’ll keep this simple Pauly.
If you want to go- leave Canada I mean, just do it and be done with it.
Get the hell out!
Like many English Canadians I have had enough. I have listened to the whining from your province for decades and before that through the history books.
Keep your language and make your country. I prefer France anyway and your invite to have Canadians visit once you separate is the last thing either I or my fellow English Canadians would consider doing.
That means for all time.
Get it?
Get out.
Close the door and turn out the lights.
I don’t want to hear the whys, wherefores and poor, poor us/me and my/our French language and Culture.
Did I mention I would rather visit France- Paris in particular anyway?
Keep being the dictator Pauline. Have your language police continue to hunt down those conspiring English bastards who dare use English Language signs for decoration in their place of business or online on their Facebook Page.
I thumb my nose at you and spit in your general direction.
Yes, I am one of the “henglish people” you want to get away from.
You have my permission to go.
I used to support your individuality and Culture but not any more.
I am tired of it.
Every last bit of it.
If I could, I’d slice a knife down your provincial borders and fling you into the Atlantic.
I’d set you free.
Set you adrift.
Then I’d build a fence.
A big fence to keep you out.
So, go my French children for the rest of Canada doesn’t care anymore. We have bigger fish to fry.
I’m sure we can come up with something just as good as poutine.
Frig off.
Shut the Hell up and get out of here.
I am done.
Can’t make it any clearer than that- can I?
Oh. A couple of small things before you close the border.
Hand in your passports.
Give us back our money. Print your own or use Monopoly cash- whatever.
I mean why would you want Liz – an English Queen, on your money anyway?
Let all the Henglish out first your Grande Dictatorship
and then if I haven’t been clear enough already and in the nicest possible, English Canadian way-
Shut the Fuck up!
Regards and the best of luck,
An Henglish purr-sun.