Monday, November 11, 2013


Did you hear about the guy in Russia who nailed his “nuts” to the cobble stones of Red Square?
This same “performance artist” sewed his mouth shut a couple of years ago. Now how can we use this important information to the betterment of mankind?
Rob Ford comes to mind- although I am sure he hasn’t seen his “nuts” in decades. Well, how could he? It’s like walking in a graveyard. You are aware the ghosts are there but you just can’t see them. Now, on the other hand, fusing his lips together might just be the ticket. It would accomplish two things. He’d shut up and he’d lose weight.
That Quebec Queen- Pauline Marois could be another candidate.
The Quebec charter business.
I do tend to agree with the “dress code”. I dunno why…
It’s the conservative in me, I suppose. It’s the thought that you are welcome to come to my country but leave your troubles and religious junk at the door.
Then, there’s a local selection.
Ms. Whats-her-Name who doesn’t have “balls” to begin with- literally I mean, could tone down the rhetoric some.
No, better still. Just sew it up.
Then, I’ve been told of a recent comment made by someone regarding theatre companies. Apparently- according to his vast knowledge, any performance outside of  certain local space would tend to be “rinky-dink”. This come from someone who has never attended a show of mine- even with the offer of comp tickets.
Sew it up.
He’ll get nailed next time when the peeps decide. That will take care of that.
Nailing Balls takes "balls". Where's the hammer?
Three more candidates could be Pamela Wallin, Mike Duffy and that Patrick fella- who lost a boxing match with Justin. Having been removed- at least temporarily from the Senate, they’ve already been nailed. Of the three perhaps only Patrick had balls to pick that fight with Justin who apparently had much bigger balls or at the very least biceps- because he won.
Now, I am not sure as an artist or simply as a man, I would ever consider nailing my balls to a rock- although I feel like I’ve had that done to me by someone else several times in my life. To be truthful, I wouldn’t even know how to go about it. I mean, fondling one’s balls is one thing. Sliding off a bicycle seat is another and being kicked in the “boys” is quite another but to actually decide to nail ‘em down…well…would I use-
A pneumatic hammer or a manual hammer.
Would I ask someone to help me or do it myself.
Would I numb them with ice first?
So may questions and only a couple of balls.