Tuesday, May 13, 2014

ROBBLOG #538


Phone rings...

Hello?
Yes, this is Rob.
(pause)
Your show? What show?
(pause)
Oh that show. Yes, I seem to have heard you were directing that production.
(pause)
What's that? You have a part for little ole me?
(pause)
This is such a surprize and an honour. I never expected anything like this.
Yes, I would be delighted to be in your show!
(pause)
It's a lead role?  Why yes, again, I would be honoured.
(pause)
Fine. I look forward to hearing from you regarding the rehearsal schedule.
(pause)
Yes, you have a good day... and thank you very much for calling.

Click.

I am practising being surprized
Actually I am being a "Diva" hoping the phone will ring and it'll be a Director
offering me a part in a show.
It happens every now and then.
Sometimes a producer calls and hints that I should be at an audition. They never come right out and ask but this time I am hoping it will be different. This time I am hoping I will be asked without having to go through the audition process.



What a little self-righteous, snubbed-nosed Diva I have become!
Still, I am hoping it might happen in the next few weeks- or days.

That's what it would take. A personal invite to become a member of the cast.
It would be terrific. It's one of my favourite shows and one of my favourite Directors.
Goodness. What a huge head I have!
Don't I just think my armpits don't smell.

What's that you ask?
Have I been to Diva-Bitch school?
No.
Nothing like that at all.
It's very simple.
I would take a part if it was offered to me.
That's all. However, I am not going to go out of my way to perform like a trick pony to get it.
Nor will I sleep with anyone or allow them to fondle my private ~ahem~...

That is so Hollywood and Hollywood this is not.

So, I stay focused.
I practise my best- "I am totally honoured and blown away" tone of voice and
I wait for the phone to ring.



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