Just Another Day on Bleeker Street
It’s a sunny, spring afternoon. A Tuesday, just past 145PM
Jane: Blanche, will ya just look at this?
Blanche: What? What is it Jane Dear? You sound upset.
Jane: ~puff~ puff~ Just look at this big fellah here in the picture barring his ass to the Queen.
Blanche: Say what, Jane Dear?
Jane: Here. ~puff, drag~ Look here.
Blanche: ~shuffles paper~ Now, let me see.
Blanche: Oh My yes! That Beefy young man is showing his…~ahem~… bare buttocks..
Jane: What the (^%^ are you talking about Blanche? He’s flashing his big, bare ass!
Jane: And showing his ass to the Queen. Where’s the $%#@& respect Blanche?
Blanche: Now, Jane Dear, if you look closer you’ll see it’s not the Queen. It’s Kate…
Jane: Kate smate. Look at that big, disgusting, hairy thing! Look there’s writing all over it too. Probably a code of some kind.
Blanche: Now just settle yourself down Jane. It’s Kate the Dutchess not Queen Elizabeth and yes his behind is bare but as you can see he has covered up his front bits. It’s a costume the Maoris wear in New Zealand. He was probably dancing for her and now is just saying hello.
Jane: ~puff, puff~ Huh! Well, what if he didn’t wash his hands after touching his stained ass or after shoving his great big manpaws down the front of that costume- as you call it, then goes and shakes her hand. It’s still %$#&*& disgusting.
Blanche: ~giggle~ Yes, I suppose it could happen but I am very sure officials would make sure something like that would never happen.
Jane: ~puff, puff~ Well Blanche, all the same it’s disgusting. (pause) Blanche?
Blanche: Yes Jane?
Jane: I’m hungry for a big ole slab of honey ham tonight for supper. What about you?
Blanche: Um…I think I’ll pass. How about we order in Chinese?
Jane: ~drag, puff~ whatever the &%$# you think Blanche. I’ll go look for the chopsticks!