Tuesday, May 21, 2013

ROBBLOG #488

Oh Hell’s Bells.
 
What is going on here?
God, where are you in our time of need?
Of wait…
There is no God. We are on our own.
Thank God for that!
 
However, being Godless in this world still doesn’t explain the outright craziness that oozes from some humans. What is wrong with folks? Did you see these stories recently?
 
The Pope performs a “drive-by” Excorcism on a young child.
 
Mayor Rob “Piper” Ford smoking crack and calling Justin Trudeau a “fag” on video?
 
Some right-wing guy blows his head off at the main altar inside Notre Dame in Paris.
 
Yikes!
 
So, the Pope- although the Vatican flatly denies it, stopped alongside his Popemobile
and placed his hands on the side of a young boy’s head, causing the young boy to spurt out a demon or two. Catholic priests are good at placing their hands on the side of young boy’s heads. They’ve been doing that for centuries. Now this particular lad apparently had four of these fellows stuck up inside him.
 
~no, it’s just too easy. I shan’t go for it~
 
A former Pope dispensing with the "hands on" approach and going for the "gusto".
 
Note to readers: Only Catholics have these demons because only Catholics believe in these Catholic demons. You have to be told they are there to believe one has taken residence up inside you, unless of course you’ve seen the movie- “The Exorcist” which basically makes you a Catholic- especially if you’ve watched it several times over the decades or have had a priest take your head in his hands…
 
~no, I can’t say it…ahem~
 
Rob “Piper” Ford- that’s what the homies call him I hear, is now a film star. Not a dirty porno kind of star, no this Mayor stars in an instruction video that shows folks- who are unaccustomed to doing crack, exactly how to light up and enjoy the buzz. The video even allows listeners to hear how they too can make hateful remarks against notable Canadians such as Justin Trudeau while at the same time defiling the Gay community with the lovable term “Fag”. In this instructional video, Rob can be heard discussing the merits of minorities on the high school football team he coaches on City mayoral time.
 
The producers of this film who are waiting for a buyer willing to fork over $200,000 are planning their next production-  a video on how to correctly place a rubber on one’s “John Henry” while one is high as a kite, starring Rob Ford. The production is having start-up problems however, as no cameraman has the guts to step forward and say he or she is willing to film Ford’s wang.
 
The Main Altar in Notre Dame (Photo by Rob Reid)
 
Finally, take a beautiful, world-renowned Cathedral like Notre Dame in Paris, fill it with tourists marvelling at its architecture and historical significance (Joan of Ark was placed on trial in this famous place) and top it off with a right-wing nutball who can’t get his head around Gay Marriage and Gay adoption. This nutball- who goes on to prove that nutballs are good at committing suicide, performs a repulsive act, so repulsive it’s even more repulsive than Gay Sex in a Conservative right-winger’s mind. Instead of asking for someone to explain it to him or talking to a Gay family or two, this nutball sticks to his Catholic Dogma that Gay Marriage will promote the end of times and pulls out a gun. He places this gun in his mouth like a loaded penis, proceeding to blow his brains all over the nice, Catholic carpeting, sending tourists screaming for the exits.
What has been proved?
That “Scotchguarding” a carpet is the right way to go?
No.
He has proved that many people- Christian people, forget about “love, understanding and acceptance” no matter what some hateful, kiss my feet and call me “God” person says.
 
I swear if St. Peter pats him on the back at the Gates of Heaven, and says:
“Good Job Catholic, Right-Winger Guy!” I’ll go on a hunger strike.
I need to lose a few pounds anyway.
 
Crazy stuff?
 
You be the judge.
 
 
 
 
 

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