Wednesday, July 9, 2014


Just when you thought it was safe to belt out "The Hills are Alive With the Sound of Music" anywhere at any time, along comes the City of Winnipeg with a new rule.

Now, I've never been to Winnipeg- really. Once a couple of decades ago I stopped enroute to Hawaii but I never had to get off the plane. Winnipeg passengers simple got on the plane and off we flew to Honolulu. So, impressions of Winnipeg are sketchy since I only saw a jet bridge, the terminal and other planes but if I ever do go back to Winnipeg I'll have to keep my lips tightly pursed if I climb onboard Winnipeg Transit.

A new bylaw says if you sing you can be fined $100.
If you decide to play a musical instrument you may also face the same fine.
If you try to ride a unicycle on a bus- as if, or on transit property the same rule applies.
I don't know what would happen if you rode the unicycle playing a musical instrument while
attempting to sing.
A triple whammy, I suppose.

Simply stated, the City of Winnipeg - famous for having Canada's first Gay Mayor (at least I think Glen Murray was first), wants you to keep your flap closed.
Shut your trap.
Seal the pie hole.
Twist the lips and lock them with a key, then throw it away.
Tick Tock double lock!

Now it's not that I often belt out a tune in public but one never knows when the feeling might move one and if one gets moved on a Winnipeg bus- one will pay.
It's like getting a bad review before you get the chance to prove yourself.
The hook before you've finished your first chorus.
You open and close in mere minutes.
That would be a record even for Broadway!

I imagine one of the reasons for this new bylaw- besides the fact there are obviously a bunch of lousy singers travelling on Winnipeg Transit, are the young people who wear headphones in public and sing at the top of their lungs.
I hear- and see, these kids walk past the house all the time.
In defence of this draconian, Winnipegian Law, I must tell you that I haven't heard one good voice or one voice in tune.
Flat notes and unreachable high c's abound.
Maybe the law isn't so draconian after all. Maybe it's saving our ears and sanity from those who "think they can sing" and let's face it, there are many of us out there!

So, if you are travelling to that Manitoban City of Winnipeg this summer- button it.
If you don't when you ride transit, it may be a very expensive ride.