Time for another short chat with "The Big Guy" upstairs
~ ring, ring-a-ling!
Me: Hello there Sir, It's me Rob.
BG: Hello Rob. I know it's you.
Me: You do?
BG: Yes, I am Omni-present you know. I've told you that before. I am everywhere. I knew you'd be calling yesterday, so I cleared my desk of appointments for today at this time.
Me: Wow! That's amazing!
Me: Sure. Who am I to judge?
BG: I remember when you were just a little nipper your Mum and Dad called you Robbie. Good times. Anyway, what's with the ring-a-ling? I want folks to know that you and I are not communicating on a "real" telephone or we're not texting or facebooking. We are talking in your mind- right?
Me: Yes, of course. Have I led people to believe otherwise?
BG: Well, you know how easily people can be lead. I just wanted to make that clear. You know, a lot of people over the years have claimed to have talked to me.
Me: Like who?
BG: Well, all of the Popes. That cute little gal at Lourdes and of course Andre Scheer and Doug Ford. And that's only a small list.
Me: I see. Quite a list. Gee, you must be getting really busy this time of the year.
BG: Oh Robbie, you don't know the half of it. By the way I saw your Dad- Walter, the other day and he says to say hello. He's doing good. Sends his love.
Me: That's nice.
BG: And your friend Sue. Sorry she had to leave all of you. We're just getting her settled in and she's still in a state of flux. The Angels are helping her along. She looks terrific in her new wings by the way.
Me: You always have a way of making me feel better.
BG: That's my job. Sometimes people let their minds get all muddled and confused- and angry. I am here to calm things down- if I'm asked of course. I never barge right in.
Me: That's nice of you. So Easter, eh?
BG: Yes. I still like Christmas best but I mean what's not to like about Easter with all that chocolate and bunnies and stuff.
Me: Oh, sure but I thought you'd be a little more involved with the religious side of the holiday?
BG: Oh I can be. If that's what people want- or need. I am not here to decide for anyone. People have to do that for themselves. I didn't make up religion- the earth folks did that. You let a bunch of men write a book and it creates a movement. It's happened many times over the centuries. I just sit up here and smile. Sometimes it gets a bit much and I get real sad ~pause~ you know...
Me: Really? You?
BG: Well the killings, the wars, the hate, the unnecessary things people say to each other. Look Robbie, it's a beautiful world and planet you have. Why fuck it up? I should have let women be in control. Wait, I mean women should have taken control. Look if a kd lang was the Queen of Earth, things would be much different. Or a Jann Arden. Without so much cussing of course.
Me: I guess men have started a lot of bad things in the History of the World- even today it continues.
BG: Not all men. Fellahs like Gord Downie or Justin Trudeau or even yourself have changed people's minds.
BG: Don't tell me that you don't know all the good you've done and the example you've set for many Gay men and Straight folks alike. You lead the life you were meant to live. Wasn't that a theme at your wedding?
Me: It was. It was on the invitations. Nice that you remember that.
BG: Oye! I remember everything! Some days it's to much but you know what?
BG: Some day, way far away from now, it'll all be worth it. Then I'll only remember the good things because it will all be good. The world needs that. What did Jackie de Shannon sing? What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love.
Me: Hey! You like 60's music.
Me: I guess he has some pretty bad memories to deal with this time of the year?
BG: How so?
Me: Well, Easter and all. Death and resurrection and such...
BG: Again Robbie-Bobby. Words in a book that mortals claim that I told them to write.
Me: Did you?
BG: Depends on what you want to believe. It's not up to me. Hey, you better get a move on. You and your husband Tom are going to Costco- aren't you?
Me: How did...I mean...you....
BG: It's that Omni-present thing again. So Robbie, time to turn off that little voice in your head and hang up now. It's been an absolute delight chatting with you one again and just one little thing before I toddle off to my Easter egg painting class...
Me: What's that?
BG: Not too much chocolate young man! You've gotta watch that "Girlish" figure of yours. Hah. Hah!
Me: Later Big Guy...